The need for a sense of security is the driving force behind all psychological problems and is the cornerstone of mental health. Maslow's hierarchy of needs shows that after a person satisfies the basic food, clothing, housing, and travel, he will pursue a sense of security, experience a sense of security, and have a stable sense of happiness, so we spend our whole lives pursuing a sense of security, which is the instinct of human nature.
We seem to be pursuing money, in fact, we are pursuing the sense of security brought by money, we seem to be pursuing love, the essence is in the pursuit of the sense of security brought by love, we seem to be chasing fame and fortune, its essence is the pursuit of fame and fortune to bring about security. But the problem is that when we all have these, we still feel insecure, and constantly take, layer by layer on our own, piled up with countless desires, countless fame and fortune, to resist the insecurity of the outside world. The result is exhaustion, exhaustion, and an endless vicious cycle. It's like a rice field with a hole leaking, you use thin mud to plug the hole outside, you find that when the water rushes out of the gap again, you need to use more thin mud to plug, so repeatedly, but never solve the problem. And Mao Zedong Thought tells us that to grasp the main contradiction of things, restore the truth of things, and plug the water out of the hole, we need to find the source of the leak and plug the hole from the inside. Solve the problem to the point. Instead of a headache, a sore foot.
In a state of anxious personality traits, the mind gives you the illusion of insecurity, constantly projecting uncontrollable scenes in the future, and you are guided by the mind to try to prove the authenticity of this scene, because your mind always projects consciousness in a place that feels unsafe, and the mind always wants to firmly grasp something, making you form dependence and can't stop.
In a state of compulsive personality traits, the mind gives you one in ten thousand possible events, but you will prove its authenticity back and forth, but the mind is constantly deceiving you, you are constantly proving that, under the wrapping of generalized thinking, the mind exaggerates things as they are. A person who constantly washes his hands and feels that he can't wash themselves clean because he feels that bacteria will cause him to get sick, a person who constantly determines whether the faucet is turned off, he can even think of the disastrous result of the water not turned off.
This comes from the lack of one's own core strength, so it depends too much on the mind, and a person who has a sense of security for a long time does not rely on other things, but awakens the self-sufficient self. Wang Yangming said: I am self-sufficient and do not ask for anything. Only when you slowly pull back the consciousness that you projected on the outside world, put it on yourself, consciously put into action in the present moment, and achieve the state of unity of knowledge and action, when you reach the state of unity of knowledge and action, can you truly appreciate what a sense of security is. The sense of security you're looking for isn't on the outside, it's on the inside. It is impossible in the past, much less in the future, but in every present moment, in conscious action in the present. This is at the heart of conscious behavioral therapy, and at its core is action.
When we eat, we consciously eat and feel the pleasant experience of eating to your palate, rather than in the process of eating, the mind is filled with an uneasy future, the child's disobedience, and the hardships of work. When we sleep, we sleep with peace of mind, rather than anxiety about unfinished subjects, unfinished mortgages, anxiety and insomnia. In conscious behavioral therapy, the principle of seeking truth from facts is mentioned, and the phenomenon is set aside to see the essence. When we are anxious about certain things in the future, we do not actually change the properties and direction of things. On the contrary, it increases its own mental burden. This is what we often call thanklessness, and what we need to do is to pull our thoughts and attention back from the illusory mind back into the real world and invest our energy in the present moment. Eat well when you should eat, and sleep well when you should sleep. A person who will love himself will love others, and a person who lives in the present will have a future.
Conscious action in the present moment is the antidote to insecurity. When you are hurt emotionally, you cannot get a sense of security from this relationship, when you are in the original family, suffering from an unloved and unappreciated childhood, you cannot go back to the past to find security in the original family, the problem is that the mind clings to it.
In the fear of doubt, a little bit of discomfort is wrapped up in generalized thinking, and it is generalized into a terminal illness. In a state of anxiety, fear that nothing that will happen in the future will happen to you. In a compulsive state, always try to kill the one in ten thousand possibilities. Driven by this insecurity, things are absolutized, exaggerated, and even demonized. Based on this psychological defense mechanism, we wrap ourselves more and more tightly, a person who is hurt in a relationship does not dare to invest in another relationship, a person who fails to start a business does not dare to start a business again, and a person who is deceived no longer believes in anyone. It seems to be done without leaks, but the life energy is slowly depleting.
The future is uncertain, a wise man must dance with uncertainty, if we always guard against what has not yet happened, our lives will be dim, energy will begin to lose, become insensitive, like a mallet.
On the road to absolute security, sometimes a tragic price is paid. There is such a mother, trapping her child in a safe home that she thinks is safe, not letting the child do risky things, making friends and working are in the unsafe range, because dating means being deceived, work means being squeezed and exploited, it means hurting the body, you can imagine what kind of situation it is for a child to grow up in such an environment, the age of 20 looks like ashes, the eyes are blank, weak, walking a few steps breathless, the whole person is in the unconscious realm, like the walking dead.
Security is not about what you have to feel safe, but whenever and wherever you are, in a stormy world, you can find a safe foothold and then expand the ability to search in place.
Security is the long journey of your life, accepting the poignant beauty of loneliness without needing to rely on it or to embrace it. Still feel calm and stable.
Life is an experience, experiencing pain, experiencing happiness, experiencing busyness, experiencing idle time, experiencing sadness, experiencing happiness, experiencing despair, and experiencing hope. Life is bittersweet and bitter, it is all an experience. Birth, old age, illness and death are all an experience, with busy surrounding, there is a relaxed pleasure, with the torment of disease, there is the joy of healing, with sorrow and entanglement, there is the beauty of forgetting.