"I want to be with my mother!" This may be a headache for many mothers, and I only found out last month that it is not easy for children to cast this tightening spell.
In December, I was getting ready to go out with my kids to climb the mountain. Before I set off, I was very nervous, because I had a fear of heights, I knew that it was not a joke, and this time I was with my child, and I was even more afraid to the extreme, and I also adjusted my mentality to the point of never being reluctant. But how easy is it? The size between reluctance and reluctance is simply impossible to grasp....
The first day of the trip is to climb the main peak, only to reach the mountain entrance, the child's lips instantly whitened, I thought it was a high degree of maladaptation, inner self-blame, which is really too challenging for a seven-year-old child, have thought about whether to climb or not, in short, have to be with the child. As a result, the child is only because he has not eaten enough at noon and is hungry.
When the crisis was lifted, my mother immediately put herself on her head, holding snacks to the child, and while thinking about noon, she told her to eat well and not eat, etc., and the child returned with a stinky face.
After finally setting off, the child wanted to rest after walking a few steps, and asked while walking, the partners have reached the top, right? I understand the personality that children are used to comparing with others, and they do not scold or urge, but just remind, don't care about others, focus on ourselves, focus on every step under our feet. Finally, we finished the summit at snail speed in a rhythm of fifty steps and a five-minute rest.
But there is still no happiness on the child's face. This whole road is very reluctant for her, right?
The next day was to climb another peak; the child had a good night's sleep, his spirit was uplifted, and he was full of confidence that he would follow the leader. After the departure, she really quickly overtook me and walked to the front of the line.
Later, I don't know if I was waiting for me or if I couldn't keep up with the footsteps, so the child stopped at the side of the road and waited for me to walk together. This time the peak is two kilometers one way, and the front one kilometer is nearly forty-five degrees of gravel steeply uphill, sometimes you have to use your hands and feet to move forward, not to mention children, even adults feel overwhelmed. The child was tired of shouting along the road and even wanted to go home. But when I look at her like that, it is clear that the body is very good, but the heart does not want to.
I patiently accompanied her snail slowly, slow to the end, the child walked three steps to rest, even the snail is faster than us. I saw that she was excited, and I didn't want to force her, so I said to the child, "I don't want to climb, do I?" But I wanted to climb, and anyway we'd turn back the same way, I'd leave my coat behind, and you'd be waiting for me here. The child was frightened and said, "Don't don't, I want to be with my mother!" Then the child did not say that he wanted to give up, and after reaching the top with ease, he greeted the admiration and cheers of the crowd, and the child finally smiled.
The story was the perfect ending, but the child's panicked reaction at the time: "I want to be with my mother!" "Always hovering in my head. I thought that parent-child interaction was always oscillating between reluctance and non-reluctance, together or alone, and there was never a standard answer; and I also thought, if the child did not insist on being together, then, did I really leave her behind? So what kind of mother did I become? But I can't do what I say, what kind of demonstration have I done? A lot of embarrassment, fortunately, did not happen when the child insisted on being with the mother.
On the way back, I asked my child if he wanted to come back next time. She said she wanted to, but asked me not to say again, "I told you to eat well and what would happen if you didn't eat, and she was very uncomfortable listening to it." I laughed, I thought that along the way I was accommodating her, in fact, she also had a lot of patience for me, and it turned out that insisting on "with my mother" also had to pay a price.