Lesson 03: The Sixteen Golden Rules of Family Education

Law one, friend rule

1. How to think from the perspective of children:

(1) Cherish what your child loves

(2) Protect children's curiosity

(3) Don't make fun of children at will

2. Maintain a childlike heart and understand what the child is doing:

(1) Understand the child's psychology

(2) Understand the child's requirements: the child's 10 requirements for parents

a child should not quarrel in front of the child.

b Love every child the same, don't be eccentric.

c Do not distrust or lie to children at any time.

d Parents should be humble and considerate of each other.

e Parents maintain a close relationship with their children.

f The child's friend came to visit and welcomed.

g Comprehensively answer the questions raised by the child.

h Don't blame your child for your mistakes in front of your child's friends.

Observe your child's strengths and don't overemphasize your weaknesses.

j The love for the child should be stable, not hot and cold, and lose your temper at every turn.

3) Don't make decisions for your child.

4, do not nag in front of the child. Parental nagging can be divided into several situations.

(1) Care and care.

(2) The form of urging the imperative.

(3) Habitual criticism.

(4) Dissatisfied.

Law two, the law of China

1. The difference between Chinese and Western education

(1) Examples of differences in family education:

A. For children who walk and fall

China: Come on, baby, Mommy (Daddy) hugs you.

Foreign: Children, be brave and stand up on your own.

B. Children's hobbies

China: Child, I signed you up for piano lessons, art lessons, composition lessons... You have to study hard.

Foreign: Kids, try to do what you want to do. As long as you feel it makes sense, Mom and Dad will always support you.

C. For the future of the child

China: We must study hard, go to key middle schools, go to key universities, and find a good job in the future.

Foreign countries: Children, all roads lead to Rome, and there are many roads to success.

D. For children who are about to take the exam

China: I tell you, you gave me a good exam. If you fail again, I'll see how I'm going to handle you.

Foreign: Kids, easy exams, as long as you work hard, you don't have to care about grades.

(2) Differences in school education

Schools cannot promote quality education, students cannot adapt to quality education in a short period of time, and China's national conditions are not suitable for large-scale implementation of quality education.

example:

A. Objections to the students in the class

China: Quiet, everyone listens to me.

Foreign: Students, do you have any different views? Tell me.

B. For students who make mistakes

China: What happened to your students? Call your parents tomorrow, can you hear?

Foreign: Children, tell the teacher what is going on ... Be careful next time.

(3) Social education and socio-cultural differences

China's social environment lacks the opportunity to try. In China, once it fails, it is difficult to have another chance to "do it again.". There are many opportunities available abroad that you can try many times! Although there are still many shortcomings in China's modern education, we have a splendid civilization of five thousand years, and the Chinese culture is broad and profound, which is not available in foreign countries.

Our parents should follow the Chinese principles when educating their children, starting from traditional Chinese culture and combining educational theoretical knowledge and Western psychological knowledge to cultivate children.

Law three, the law of the future

Educating children should be in line with future development, which is in line with the development trend of future society and the future goals of children. Parents always want to give their children the best and they are eager to take care of their children's lives. But, as the years have changed, it may be a waste of time to impose on children now without forward-looking wisdom to keep pace with the times. There is a very interesting topic, that is, parents are trying to cultivate their children's car driving ability, but they do not know that the era of children needs people who can fly airplanes.

Rule four, exam rule

Examinations are an important part of china's test-taking education. When dealing with your child's examination, it should be treated with a normal heart. Praise your child when they pass the test, and understand and encourage them when they fail the test. The attitude of the parents determines the height of the child. Substance irritation and corporal punishment cannot be used. In order to stimulate children (especially primary school students) to get good results in the test, some parents make a wish before the test, saying what to buy after the test and where to go. Some children actually pass the exam and their parents respect them as well. The children are happy and more energetic. Some children pass the exam and their parents don't respect it. Parents will lose trust in their children, and the child's psychology will be very unbalanced, affecting the child's normal learning emotions. The child's grades are not ideal, he feels that he will not be rewarded by his parents, and he will feel disappointed. In a word, no matter what the situation, the child's psychology casts an unhealthy shadow. The formation of this kind of profit-seeking psychology is not conducive to the future growth of children.

Corporal punishment is an unhealthy act that undermines the physical and mental health of children. Today's children are psychologically fragile, especially those with poor academic performance, because they are afraid of their parents' punishment, or passively endure in silence, they will be in a state of extreme tension and anxiety. Or use the escape method to "protect" yourself! Some children run away from home because of poor test scores, or suicide tragedies occur from time to time. These are the main reasons why parents cannot treat their children's test scores correctly.

Law five, the law of responsibility

Take responsibility for yourself. No matter what you do, as long as you work hard, do your best, no matter what the result is, you must be ashamed. The idea of reading to parents and teachers is impossible. Children should understand that a person can only be responsible for others and society if he is responsible for himself.

A little boy is playing soccer with his companions on the road. He accidentally smashed the window glass of a house on the side of the road. The owner of the house said angrily, "Who did this?" The boy guiltily admitted his mistake. , ask for forgiveness. But the head of the household insisted that the boy pay $20. How could this kid have so much money! The boy knew he was in trouble, cried, and had to go home and ask his father for help. The father was not angry, nor did he follow the boy to find the head of the household to pay compensation. Instead, he lent the boy $20 and agreed to let the boy pay it off after a year.

After that, the boy studied while trying to earn money in his spare time. He shines his shoes on the street, gets up early to deliver newspapers, washes dishes in restaurants... A year later, he finally earned $20 and proudly handed it over to his father. His father said to him happily: "Those who can take responsibility for their own mistakes will succeed in the future." Sure enough, the boy grew up and became an influential person in American politics — he served two consecutive terms in the United States. President Reagan.

Law Six, The Law of Interest

Wolves are the most curious animals in the world. They don't take anything for granted, but tend to learn and experience on their own. They are fascinated by nature. Novelty always surprises wolves. Wolves are always interested in their surroundings, so they can constantly hunt for food in their environment, understand the dangers, and survive effectively. Therefore, in order to cultivate children's super learning ability, it is necessary to cultivate children's curiosity about the world, let him carefully observe life, and use interest as his learning teacher. Such children will be bright stars on the road of future life, and their work will continue to have new ideas and inspiration.

Rule Seven, The Law of Questioning

Questions can stimulate a child's curiosity about the surrounding environment and make him think. But the way you ask questions matters. Yes/No types of questions don't really help children think. The best way to ask questions is to use open-ended questions, e.g. what do you think? Is there anything you can do? Open-ended questions can help children think. And pay attention to skill when asking questions. First, you must show your child that you are attentive, focused, interested, considerate, considerate, sensible, and creative before you can begin to communicate smoothly. For example, "I really like how you performed today. How did you manage not to be nervous? Or, "I like the new ideas you come up with." Where did your inspiration come from? ”。

Law Eight, the Law of Attribution

Ensure that children grow up in a healthy family environment; give children a healthy environment to grow up in.

1. Create a happy environment:

(1) Kiss the forehead, compliment from the heart, small note to express love, give the child a "thank you".

(2) Start humor training from an early age. When he fell, he made a grimace to appease him.

(3) Let the child feel happy in nature. Run in the fields.

(4) Parents should be humorous, cheerful and optimistic to create a harmonious family atmosphere.

2, into the creation of the environment: let children learn to take the initiative to fight

(1) Affirm the child's talent "You have been recognized by everyone through hard work, awesome! ”。

(2) Coordinate your child to set appropriate goals.

Create a shared environment for children to experience happiness; create a caring environment for children to learn kindness.

Rule Nine, The Law of Hope

Always let children see hope:

1, let children have great dreams from an early age.

2. Let the child set goals and guide him forward.

3. Put forward ideal requirements for children in a timely manner.

4. Pay attention to the individual differences in the goal.

5. Maintain hope in the face of difficulties.

Law Ten, The Law of Power

The Law of Strength: Never fight with children;

In the "struggle" between parents and children, parents can not be the victor, if in the safest and warmest family can not get respect and victory, when out of the house, to the outside world, in the face of dangerous, powerful enemies, the child's first reaction is to withdraw is that I can't.

Law Eleven, The Law of Management

Until the child is a minor, discipline is the responsibility of the parents. First, parents and teachers manage their children, implement other disciplines for children, and finally let children achieve self-discipline!

Law XII, The Law of Sound

Although children do not have the right to decide at home, they must listen to their voices; listen to their voices and communicate well with their children.

1, be a child's trust: parents are best to take some time every day to patiently listen to the child's heart, which is a good way to appreciate and understand the child. In this way, the child has something to tell his parents, never put it in his heart, go out to say 'goodbye', say hello at the door, cook a helper, wash the dishes after a meal and wipe the floor. The parents were overly critical again, did not resist at the time, and then explained later. They often say to their children: We are father and son and friends, we have the obligation to educate you, we also have the obligation to help you, and when you grow up, you will find that we have many like you, which is normal. We need to understand each other and help each other like friends.

2. Be a good listening parent: pay attention to listening to the voice of the child:

(1) Stop doing other things: When the child wants to talk to himself, let go of what he is doing.

(2) Respond to the feeling of identifying with the child.

(3) Make a pledge: For example, at the end of the conversation, say "I hope things have a good result" and "That is really interesting".

3, let the child finish the words: why parents themselves always nagging, and do not give the child the opportunity to express freely, seal the child's mouth, and talk non-stop, this is too unfair.

4, different situations, different listening:

(1) When the child cries: around him, do not interrupt his crying, crying can heal the wound.

(2) When the child is afraid: Be by the child's side, encourage the child to face what he is afraid of.

(3) When you lose your temper in a public place: try to take your child to a more hidden place.

4, when the child is angry: caress, pay attention to him, stay by his side, allow him to thunder.

Law Thirteen, The Law of Idols

Parents are the first object of imitation of children, we must be good idols, do not plant bad seeds in the young minds of children.

Law FOURTEEN, The Law of Consequences

Let children understand the possible consequences of their actions in the real world; teach children to understand the boundaries between morality and law from an early age.

Law fifteen, twenty yards rule

Cultivate a sense of independence in children, with parents maintaining a distance of at least 20 yards from them.

Law Sixteen, Four Ho Laws

The "Four Hos" rule: In any case, know who your child is with, where he is, what he is doing, and when he or she will return home.