Text/37 degrees warm dad
The word security is going to be bad! Even so, I'm sure very few parents can say what a sense of security really is. Let @37 degrees warm dad incarnate as a "brick family called the beast", break it open, knead it, and make a good squeeze. Read this article clearly, and then meet others to give you a sense of security, you can also talk about it!
To make sense of security clear, you have to move Maslow out
Maslow, a social psychologist in the pretty country, put forward the hierarchy of needs theory, which he believes: Everyone has physiological, safety, social needs, respect and self-actualization, five needs.
In my opinion, these five kinds of needs are increasing according to the changes in the social environment and the personal environment, and only when the basic needs are met will higher-level needs continue to be derived. For example, if you live in a time of war, people only have the need to eat, wear and live, that is, physiological needs and safety needs.
The modern domestic environment is stable, with economic development as the main direction, and people will derive high-level needs such as socialization, respect, and self-realization after meeting their physiological and safety needs. Children, like adults, have a variety of needs, and then we talk about children's sense of security.
What is a child's sense of security?
Security is a very generalized concept that contains many aspects. Leaving aside the child's sense of security, let's first understand the sense of security of adults.
The country that bought a house recognizes that the security of the property can be consumed with peace of mind after paying a salary or doing business; the partner is affectionate and loyal to you, which is the emotional security; the work signs a labor contract, the employer cannot be dismissed at will, which is the sense of security of the job; and get along with friends, colleagues, and relatives, do not have to worry that they will "pit" you, this is the social security.
I think you probably understand: security is whether human beings can meet the basic physiological needs; whether the safety of personal and property is guaranteed; whether emotional and social needs are recognized; and a series of needs such as determinism, is the spiritual need for safety and stability, which is manifested as a sense of control and certainty.
Children's sense of security is also similar to that of adults, including: whether my parents can let me eat and wear warm; whether I can play with me; whether I can see my joys and sorrows. To paraphrase Maslow's theory, the following figure:
A sense of security not only affects a child's mental health, but also affects physical health
Security is a human spiritual need, but the mind and body also interact and influence each other. To put it simply: the psychological state is invaded by negative emotions such as depression, depression, anger, anxiety, etc., first affecting the body's immune system, and then the immunity is reduced, and various physical symptoms will follow.
This may be a bit abstract, but I'll give you a few examples:
Eg1: The child goes to kindergarten, gets sick at both ends for three days, either coughs or has a cold and fever. If the child has been in kindergarten for half a year or is often sick, it is necessary to consider the influence of mental factors.
Eg2: A few days ago I saw a news report that a 9-year-old boy in Shangqiu, Henan Province, had a fever of nearly 40 degrees as soon as he went to school, and was later diagnosed with mild depression. Then, there must be a reason for the fear of children in school, and it is not a day or two that children become like this.
Children with insufficient sense of security affect their physical health, and their psychological development will also be affected. Because you can't feel safe at home, when you interact with the outside world (various interpersonal interactions), you subconsciously ask for it to get the sense of certainty and control that is missing.
For example, we often talk about it on the Internet or listen to people around us: so-and-so is very good in feelings... In fact, this state of "doing" is to seek certainty and confirm whether it is safe. Then, in this relationship, the "made" party may not be able to carry a long-term demand, which will eventually lead to the rupture and end of the relationship. Because no one can talk about giving in a relationship without asking for anything in return.
Children's sense of security is mainly focused on the acceptance of parents
I think that people who can hold their mobile phones to read my articles must also solve the problem of food and clothing, so the physical needs and safety needs of children have been met, more high-level needs, and more in the family as the acceptance of parents.
Are my parents willing to play with me? --Social needs; will my parents listen to my opinions and my feelings? --Respect for needs; do I approve of the various works that I "create" myself? --Self-actualization.
If parental acceptance is high enough, the child is safe at home. For example, a child who does not do well on tests is willing to discuss with his parents. This is because the child is very clear: even if the test is not good, he will not be scolded or even beaten by his parents, so he dares to speak out to his parents.
Soul Torture: Are there any things you don't want/dare to mention to your parents? Why? Is it because you can't accept it, so you don't want to/dare to say?
Of course, acceptance also has limits, and acceptance is not unlimited. Acceptance refers more to accepting children's emotions, opinions, and self-feelings, rather than excessive and contrary to public perception.
Case in point: The child got angry for some reason and kicked the TV to pieces. The child's emotional feelings of anger and anger can be accepted, but this behavior cannot be accepted and encouraged.
Bandura, a social psychologist in Pretty Country, did a doll experiment: when the adult who beat the doll was not punished, the children began to imitate the adult's behavior. In the child's view, unpunished behavior is acquiescence and disguised encouragement. Therefore, in accepting this matter, parents also need to distinguish and screen.
Well, today's topic of security, let's talk about it here ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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