It is easy to deal with peace,
Don't be in a hurry to temper when things happen,
Can flex energy to stretch the atmosphere.
Life is just like a river, harmony is a boat, temper is a wave, and the atmosphere is a shore. No boats are sad about the river, the waves are turbulent, and the other side is the end.
A person's life is nothing more than a practice, grinding the temper of the people into a ball of harmony, putting it into the furnace of life, and refining it into an atmosphere.
1. Win in harmony
Shakespeare famously said that you should be kind to people, but don't be too cunning.
Harmony not only refers to temper and temperament, but also means to have a team spirit and create a harmonious atmosphere. Kindness is not to make you a good old man, but to treat others with a tolerant and considerate heart.
Harmony and auspiciousness, obedience and hostility. Zeng Guofan relied on "sincerity" and "harmony" to govern the Xiang army, and treated his subordinates with generosity and benevolence, and Li Hongzhang, as a protégé of Zeng Guofan, described Zeng Guofan's daily life by saying:
In the camp, Zeng Guofan would always wait for them to eat together. After eating, everyone sat around and chatted, at this time Zeng Guofan always liked to tell a small joke, and everyone laughed backwards and forwards.
In the eleventh year of Xianfeng (1861), Li Xiucheng led his troops into the camp of Zeng Guofan, Qimen was in danger, and some people packed up and prepared to escape.
"The thief is so strong that he wants to return temporarily and pay a three-month salary, but he still comes to the camp and does not mind."
In the face of the soldiers who planned to abandon the battle and flee, Zeng Guofan did not give a hard hand, but treated others leniently and understood the difficulties of others. Upon hearing this order, the soldiers were ashamed and refused to leave again.
Some people have commented on Zeng Guofan like this: Zuo Shuai (Zuo Zongtang) is strict and no one dares to deceive; Li Shuai (Li Hongzhang) is clear and no one can be deceived; Zeng Gong (Zeng Guofan) is benevolent, and people cannot bear to be deceived.
Harmony to talent can get others to be opposite to qi, the tip of the needle to Mai Mang, both ends are injured.
We often say "spring wind and qi", and harmony is like a spring breeze, when it encounters a soft wind, the mountains will be green and the ice will melt.
Fellowship with people is not a war, there is no need to score a high and low to discuss a win or lose, with harmony to achieve a win-win situation.
Peace is not unhappy, and peace is not undefeated.
2. Lose in temper
Tempers are common to everyone, but having a temper doesn't mean you can lose your temper at any time. If you're right, you don't have to lose your temper, and if you're wrong, you're not entitled to lose your temper.
Temper is not only hurtful, but also adds a stumbling block to your life.
If harmony is pulling thorns for the road of life, then bad temper is to throw bricks and stones on the road, which at first glance seems to matter, but walking on the road will inevitably be stumbled.
Zeng Guofan's temper was not good in his early years, and he had quarrels with many people during his tenure in Beijing, and he also offended many people.
Zeng Guofan and his two compatriots, Zheng Xiaoshan and Jin Zao, have all had quarrels, and what they did was also trivial, but the result was that "verbal abuse, anger and disregard, almost forgot about their bodies and relatives."
Zeng Guofan also reflected in his diary: "After the discord, people are anti-peaceful, and I am blatantly unkind. Evil words do not come from the mouth, and words of anger do not reflect on the body, I don't know, let alone ask others? Keep this in mind, think of it as a cut. ”
During his stay in Beijing, Zeng Guofan also "hated those who had great names and great positions", resulting in "the princes and nobles seeing or avoiding them, and not sitting with them", which cast a shadow over Zeng Guofan's life in the capital, not only affecting his mood but also affecting the development of his career.
Zeng Guofan said frankly: In previous years, I was outside, and I was not in line with the officialdom, and there were thorns everywhere. Later, he changed his course and felt a little at ease.
Some people feel that they have a bad temper and are harmless. In fact, many times your failure often starts from a bad temper, and people with poor temper are often difficult to cooperate with others, and they are easy to be impulsive and waste opportunities.
The more successful people have a calmer mentality, the better their temper, and those with poor abilities have a greater temper.
The occasional bad temper is really harmless, and if you can't control your emotions and let the bad temper control you, then you may be in constant trouble.
A good temper is half the battle, and an ill-timed bad temper will only speed you out of the game on the road of life.
3. Cultivate the atmosphere
Be like a spring, be able to flex and stretch, endure suffering, and enjoy blessings.
When you are not satisfied, you lean down and accumulate strength in the darkness. When encountering opportunities, know how to seize the opportunity to jump up and take advantage of it, no matter the good times and adversities.
Being able to endure can make a true gentleman, and being able to bend and stretch a husband.
Zeng Guofan committed suicide three times in his life, but after each suicide, he was a hundred times more energetic, and Zeng Guofan believed that this was a manifestation of being able to flex and stretch.
In the fifth year of Xianfeng (1855), Zeng Guofan led an army to attack the mouth of Jiangxi Lake, and because of the encounter with a fierce enemy, the Xiang army was in chaos.
In this battle, the Xiang army suffered numerous casualties, and most of the ships were burned. Zeng Guofan's ship was also surrounded by the Taiping Legion and had no way to escape.
Seeing that the army was defeated and could not escape, Zeng Guofan did not want to become a prisoner of the Taiping Army, so he chose to commit suicide by throwing water, but fortunately was saved by his subordinates.
After experiencing this failure, Zeng Guofan was not depressed, but more scrappy.
In the sixth year of Xianfeng (1856), Zeng Guofan was trapped in Nanchang, the Taiping army was like a broken bamboo, Zeng Guofan "smelled the wrath of the spring wind, then his heart was broken, and when he saw the thief's ship sailing, he wandered around the house", and after the Taiping Army withdrew its troops due to the incident, Zeng Guofan escaped a disaster.
After the death of Zeng Guofan's father, Zeng Guofan wrote to his father to request that his father be kept, and the Xianfeng Emperor granted permission and took back his military power.
At this time, Zeng Guofan was not depressed, but took this opportunity to calm down, reflect on himself, and sum up experience. Zeng Guofan wrote to his brother Zeng Guoquan that "Wuping grew up when he was frustrated and humiliated.".
The inchworm bends to seek faith, and the dragon and snake sting to survive. The highest realm of human cultivation is nothing more than being able to bend and stretch, and there are many people who can stretch, but there are not many who can lie down and not complain when they are humiliated and frustrated.
The Tao Te Ching says: "The song is complete, the wrong is straight, the depression is profitable, the disadvantage is new; the less is gained, and the more is confused." ”
Sometimes bow your head and bend down to better lift your head.
Treating the world with one step is high, and regressing is the zhang ben of progress; treating others with a generous point is a blessing, and benefiting others is the foundation of self-interest.
Add a kind face to people and things, smile and greet people, and whisper softly, and you will find that many things that you thought were difficult to do before have become simple, and the road of life has become smoother.
Minus one to reduce your temper, not in a hurry, treat people with leniency, you will find that there are more friends who help the handle, and the road of life has become wider.
To be a man is to be atmospheric, to have a broad mind, to endure what people cannot tolerate, to tolerate people can not tolerate, can flex and stretch.
It is easy to add harmony to things, not to sharpen temper in case of trouble, and to be able to bend and stretch the atmosphere.
If you want to take a stable life path, you must not forget your temper, your temper is not often there, and the atmosphere cannot be lost.
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