Although like many mothers, she is full of worries and trepidation about her children's problems, she has insisted on learning along the way, summed up the intervention methods suitable for her children, helped her children to progress, and also lived every moment of her life.
Today she is willing to share her mental journey and harvest along the way to other peers who are still confused, next, let's listen to the doll (pseudonym) mother to share -
Recommendation 1: Start with the details of life to shape cognitive and language development
I am the doll's mother.
From the birth of the child, I have read a lot of parenting knowledge, all kinds of channels, parenting books and the Internet, etc., but also because I have learned so much parenting knowledge, let me understand that the child's 0-6 years old is the golden stage of brain network construction, and 0-3 years old is the first important stage, but also let me suddenly realize the importance of high-quality companionship.
After much deliberation, I also decided to give up my passion for a full-time mom and accompany my children to grow up healthy.
From the beginning of his two months, I needed to do some basic home early education training for him according to his monthly age, sensory system training, inner ear vestibular vestibule, large movement and finger fine movement training.
I am well aware that these training and language inputs are of great significance to his cognitive and language development, so I began to introduce picture book reading from the age of half a year, until now two years old and eight months of picture books have been with him to grow up without interruption, and his cumulative reading volume is about 500 books;
Daily life of various language communication is also a large number of input, from the age of one and a half also began to have a method of input, no longer blindly a large number of input, but pay attention to the way of speaking, skilled input.
In addition, the doll's living habits, behavior habits are also what I value more, starting from his six months will sit to add complementary foods, the dining chair is fed, but because of too much worry about safety and inconvenience in winter, so it is almost one year and three months to start eating independently, speaking of this I think the reason why he will not speak may be:
Genetic problems (his dad speaks late)
● After 6 months, finger food can be introduced appropriately with age, and let it slowly learn to eat independently (there are many benefits of self-eating, I will not say one by one)
● Use a straw cup that is too easy to use, no training to the root of the tongue (from the age of half a year to use the B.BOX straw cup, until two years and seven months, during the bite of more than ten, the child bites the straw type of soft glue material items must be stopped, easy to cause the mandible to tilt)
● Usually eat a lot do not like to chew a few times directly (even if there is serious education can still not like to chew) did not train to the masseter muscles and mandibles.
In addition to eating, the doll's usual toys, picture books, and other items that have been played with need to be put back in place, whether it is himself or we assist him. Garbage needs to be thrown into the trash can, see the red light stop the green light to go, into the community to first brush the door number to open the door and other daily behavior rules I will consciously repeat to him to instill.
Before reading books to know that children in 0-3 years old brain rapid development, memory is super good, but "their" memory is instantaneous memory, so you want the child to remember what, it is necessary to repeatedly input repeated exercises so that he goes deep into the bone marrow to fully master, this can also be put to now he practices speaking every day, all the newly learned sounds and previously learned sounds, we will all practice every day, special situations practice can not be completed, I will definitely choose his mastery is not very good and the recent week to learn the sound to practice, Time should be the best sediment for language learning.
Here you can briefly share some exercise methods:
Usually at home with him to play games, play toys, read picture books, go out shopping, travel, bored in the car, special practice, etc., practice as far as possible inserted into these projects can be interesting unconscious children will not feel rigid and particularly disgusted, practice as far as possible to encourage praise, or pretend to be stupid did not hear clearly and say it again and so on.
Tip 2: Understand the differences between children and establish a social environment appropriately
Dolls will be called daddy at one and a half years old, one year old and eleven months will be called mom, until two years old and five months will only be called mom and dad, doll, because of the knowledge accumulated in the early stage, I have always known that his language development is problematic, the child is one year old, one and a half years old, two years old, two and a half years old these big nodes can probably reach what level I understand.
Since the child was one year old, I have learned about Oriental Qiyin on the Internet and have been following it. Why didn't I send him to study until I was two years and 5 months old?
On this point, I think so:
I understand that each child has individual differences, the development of morning and evening is different, and the most critical reason is that from the experience I brought him, the premise of the child doing everything or the parents want the child to do something well must be the child's subjective will is very strong, and his interest in liking is the most important.
Before a year and a half we tried various ways to get him to see us lip synchronics to learn what we talked, and he was outright rejected + disgusted;
Around the age of two, after the doll began to talk about her mother, I slowly became a little willing to learn to speak.
Because he was more than one year old and reported him an early education (the purpose of early education: mainly to want him to have a social environment), the doll actually looks at the children around him and talks to himself, he will have some inferiority complex in his heart (my son's cognitive understanding is higher than that of children of the same age, and his mind is also very delicate and sensitive), so he knows the gap between himself and other children of the same age in speaking, on the one hand, he is inferior on the one hand, and he is eager to communicate with people through language and express his will.
For these reasons, we chose to send him to the center to learn to speak on July 16, 2021, at the age of two years and five months, and signed up for a three-month three-hour OMP course.
Recommendation 3: Intervention selection – the teaching system needs to be examined in a key way
During the evaluation, I kept telling the teacher that I was worried about the child's separation anxiety, because the doll had always been with me and had never left, but in the center intervention, I needed to leave the mother alone for three hours of study, and the initial psychological blow may be a little big.
Fortunately, because of the psychological construction done in the early stage, coupled with the care and preparation of the teachers and the effective and interesting methods, my son only spent three days without crying and directly entered the main topic.
We have never been apart before two and a half years old, so on any occasion, I would say that I am very grateful to meet Dongfang Qiyin, and I am very grateful to every teacher here for taking good care of my son, solving my biggest concerns, and letting my son quickly enter normal learning.
Imagine if the teachers here are not so patient or have the skills to attract the interest of the children, or do not have a loving and inclusive heart, it is likely that the end result will be that the children cry every day, start crying when they talk about class, and the learning will not change for a long time but worsen.
I've always valued my child's mental health, so I was initially nervous to send him here. I don't know if he can study here happily, worried that he is very afraid in his heart, if he is repulsive not only to learn linguistics is useless, just like some mothers on the Internet also complained that "in some institutions intervened for a year has no substantial effect", I think it may be that teachers in other places have no way to make children feel intimate, and there is no interesting method and professional skills.
The teachers here have solid expertise and a loving heart, as they are dealing with a group of children who are a little special and act as temporary parents in addition to normal classes. Taking care of the child's emotions and taking care of their eating, drinking, and sleeping, the patience level of the child may not be able to be achieved by many parents, so the child will be willing to temporarily leave the favorite relatives and aunts to devote themselves to stereotypical practice.
Suggestion four: do not blindly follow, do not compare, respect your children
Speaking of which, I would also like to suggest that families considering forcing their children to speak through kindergarten or nursery schools should be more cautious in this regard.
Imagine if we adults can't talk and put you into a strange environment, there is no one around who is very close, even the nursery teacher can't take care of you one-on-one, let alone the kindergarten, and even the most basic physiological needs are not cared for you, will you be afraid? Are you still in the mood to learn to speak? Perhaps a lively and cheerful personality will also become withdrawn and introverted because he feels isolated.
I've always believed that it's important life issues for your own children, don't always compare them to other people's children. Thinking that other people's children are forced to talk and we follow suit, I have never been better than others, the life and learning I have arranged for him are based on his growth and development and hobbies, and it is also because of this that I have not been overly anxious, and I have not put all my time and energy on his non-talking to be anxious.
Although he can't speak, he will use movements and sounds to communicate with me, such as he hears the sound of fire trucks on the road, and immediately learns the alarm sound of fire trucks, which is very much like telling me that fire trucks are coming.
How to teach and train in daily life, in addition to the appropriate age, I will follow his interests, understand what to learn at the age of 0-3, understand all the sensitive periods of 0-3 years old, respect the arrival of each of his sensitive periods, including respecting his joys and sorrows, teaching him to recognize emotions, recognize his emotions, manage emotions, and respect his hobbies.
● If he likes color shapes, I will teach him to recognize color shapes;
● Like the car I bought for him a third of the picture books are car-related, from the young version to the older children to read the Dk knowledge encyclopedia he likes, every day out of the road side of the stop of all the cars will point to tell him the name;
● Like numbers to teach him to master the addition and subtraction of less than ten;
● Like Chinese characters to learn simple ten words, practice pen control, learn to write numbers, so he knows more than 10 colors and 13 shapes at the age of one, and can also distinguish between dark and light colors, and also draw some simple shapes;
Because picture books have been with him for the longest time, he loves to read books, probably because this thing has been a part of his life for the longest time, and most of his cognition is initially derived from books, and then concretized in reality.
My original idea was to hope that even when he became an adult, he could regard reading as a habit and hobby, so that he would like to broaden his horizons from books, rather than being forced to study, read, and take exams for some reason, as many adults do now.
In fact, the picture book really helped me a lot, both can effortlessly teach him some rules but also broaden his horizons to improve his cognition, of course, there is a lot of language input logic expression, now he can speak Sometimes I have to marvel at the super memory of 0-3-year-old children, some of the picture books he can repeat the sentences inside, *** Read every day and do not remember which page has which sentences.
Recommendation 5: Children are 0-3 years old, and parental guidance methods should be diverse
As he grew up, I started playing mind logic games with him, doing mathematical enlightenment and artistic enlightenment with him (graffiti, letting him hooray a lot of paint, a lot of paper, all kinds of colored pens) all these things that adults felt like too stressful were introduced into his life in a funny way when I observed him starting to be interested.
Many of the child's interests are short-lived, and the parents' interesting guidance methods are also very important, and the child must be very happy to master this kind of knowledge through guidance and continuous consolidation, so even if he does not have the same pronunciation and language expression that other children should have at the normal age.
But I hope that my son's life is colorful and his spirit is happy, because likes can be chosen, he can improve his cognition through learning so that he can decide his own preferences and be his own master.
Just like he first knew the color, he liked blue, saw the blue car will yell at you, wear clothes like blue, take a toy car to choose blue, etc. This is the purpose of my early education for him.
I never thought of him as a kid who didn't know anything, who was interested in the laws of different things at each different stage, and I would try my best to teach him to practice consolidation in any way and on any occasion. We've been hanging out every day since I was born, and I hope we'll learn interesting things together to discover all the good things in life.
Most children are born the same, it is a blank piece of paper, and what kind of painting is finally assembled, and the guidance of 0-3 years old is really important.
When he was a year old, I loved to ask him every night when he went to bed, "Son, are you happy today?"
At that time, he may not have fully understood the meaning of happiness and would not answer me in a verbal way, but he would smile and say yes every time, and now at the age of two years and eight months, he would express it in words, and whenever he saw my face sink and did not speak, he immediately ran to tell me that my mother should not be angry and happy.
At this moment, I really feel that most of the things in this world will soon be rewarded, and the children's things may not necessarily be rewarded, or need to suddenly let you harvest a surprise reward one day in the future, we can't be in a hurry, we can't give up halfway, just wait for the flowers to blossom.
Tip six: Don't slacken off, home training is very necessary
My child will say four or five words such as aunt, uh, oh, and bye for a week, and then encounter the impact of the epidemic, and after a week of rest at home for three weeks and then go to class, in the middle of a week of rest because of illness because of the epidemic and another month off.
As of today, he has completed three months of 60-day courses, the second round of three-month courses has just begun, and now basically achieved barrier-free communication, because the root of the tongue is a difficult point for him, so he now says brother, and look at the sound is not accurate, other sounds can be issued even if they have not learned, but not completely accurate, and it is also because of the previous accumulation, and now the mouth muscle problem has been greatly improved.
Every day is amazing, from morning to night the mouth has not listened, live to get rid of a small talk, sometimes I am silently shut in my heart, especially when I go to bed at night haha. And here to learn both accuracy and mouth shape, we adults daily communication is actually no mouth type, here learning can not only learn to speak, there is a benefit is to prevent the problem of slowly growing up to spit words are not clear, for our late baby is also a double eagle benefit.
I'll say a lot about it. In addition to the large amount of input in the early stage and his good cognitive comprehension ability, there is also an important reason for my child's rapid progress is home training.
For family training we never dare to relax, earlier I briefly shared some family training methods, in fact, I have been to him to do early education methods, in short, is to vote for it, you want him to do what he has to dig a pit with skills to guide him willingly jump into your pit, he likes to read picture books, you can intentionally pick some words or sentences that you just learned today to read with him, he likes building blocks, puzzles or other cars, planes, pistols, paper cuts, Painting and other points of interest to children can be cut in, and even when you are bored on a trip, you can put a bunch of cards for simple practice.
"Many parents may think that I chose to send my children to you for training because I didn't understand, and you actually said that home training is very important."
From my experience, family training is even higher than school training to some extent, school training time is limited, the teacher teaches the child the method in a limited time, and the child's memory is short-lived, and because the short-term learning of his state is unstable, and then the child learns cognition or language in order to finally integrate into normal life and learning, we need to guide him to generalize the knowledge he has learned in the family social life, so that it can be used correctly and truly mastered. Therefore, it is necessary for family training to repeatedly insist on consolidating it, so that it is stable and deep into the bone marrow to become the child's own thing.
Parents should not set limits on themselves at the beginning, think it is difficult not, home training is basically the homework left to us by the teacher is what we can complete, and will also teach some simple methods, we just need to stick to the implementation.
Finally, I would like to say that the reason why I posted this text to say so much nonsense is actually because I may have more fraternity as a mother.
"After raising children, I know that it is difficult to successfully raise a healthy and happy child", not to mention whether the grades are good or not, I think that those who are really worse than the current health (health here does not only refer to physical health and mental health, some children have language development delays and must have cognitive understanding backwardness, which is commonly known as physical development delays) These unhealthy are not inferior to the discomfort and harm of physical diseases.
Finally, I would like to recommend to all mothers:
- Evaluate early and don't delay your child.
If you feel that your child may have language delay or cognitive comprehension disorders, be sure to go to a professional training institution for consultation and evaluation in time.
Children 2-3 years old is a language outbreak period, if you miss it, after the age of three or four or five, five or six years old or even seven or eight years old and then send it, then the child and parents will pay several times the time and energy may not be able to have a good effect when they are two or three years old.
Of course, there are also some children who are two and a half years old, three years old, four or five years old, and suddenly say a long list, but such children only represent part of the group after all, let me ask you if your child is not this lucky person?
And such a child will also have a problem, at that age has not experienced the things that should be experienced correctly at that age, such as when he should socialize he can not speak, can not participate in the instructions, until he should go to kindergarten and elementary school, he has just spoken before he has the opportunity to participate in the issuance of instructions, but the real society already needs him to face his correct role, or after he goes to elementary school, he speaks with a big tongue and is vague and cannot be corrected at that time?
My thoughts were: I don't want to gamble on my child's time and youth if I lose it and money and time can make up for it.
I have also met many mothers on the Internet before, who may be discouraged by the cost of learning, so as to give up training at home and miss the language sensitivity period of their children; or they may be interested in choosing a relatively cheap institution for training.
Here I would also like to suggest a little:
I hope that mothers do not shrink back because of the price, after all, the child's things can actually be solved with money, but it is a small thing, if you have done enough homework to think that this institution is very good, then do not give up because the price is higher.
Imagine if you spend ten thousand useless, spend twenty thousand useful, then it is necessary to waste that ten thousand? Just like when you know that your loved ones are sick, you will first think of choosing the best hospital to spare no effort for treatment, then in fact, the problem of cognitive understanding and language expression is actually a major disease in the body for children, not only physical diseases are important.
I hope that my experience can be shared with other families who are experiencing the same situation.