01
The writer Evening Teacher said: "People who live in other people's worlds are the most miserable; people who live in their own worlds are the most terrible." ”
Some people's unhappiness is not necessarily caused by others, but his own reasons, he is always depressed, he feels that everyone owes him, he has a negative energy all day, but in fact, the root of his misfortune is because he can't get out of his own world. Maybe he really sacrificed himself to do a lot for others, but still can't get a good return, because his efforts are more like emotional blackmail and kidnapping.
Such people are really quite common in our daily lives.
Shiwen wanted to "run away from home", and after 49 days and nights with her mother, she was really going crazy.
Not long ago, Shiwen was very depressed, and she went to the hospital to see a doctor, who diagnosed her with liver depression. She was a little shocked when she heard that her father had died of liver disease, and how she had also suffered from liver depression. The doctor said that you still have to try to make yourself happy, don't always be depressed, young, how to feel lifeless.
Listening to the doctor's words, Shiwen laughed and laughed helplessly.
Shiwen sometimes thinks irresponsibly that maybe one day he will be angry with his mother.
Before her father died, Shiwen did not often go home, she went to a university in a foreign country, and later worked in the field, and her mother still had little control over her. Although her mother was still nagging when she called, the poem was at least in control of herself. However, after her father died, she came back to deal with the aftermath, and there was no way she had to spend time with her mother.
Shiwen is also afraid that her mother will be sad, just when she changes jobs, there is time, so she stays with her mother for more days. After spending 49 days with her mother, Shiwen finally understood the words that her father had said: "Your mother, you are angry and pitiful." ”
Living with her mother, she felt very tired and not at all relaxed. If your mother cooks a meal and the poem does not eat, she will be particularly sensitive and nag you all the time. If Shiwen went out to the party, her mother would also break the casserole and ask the end. His father had died, and his mother kept nagging about the harm he had done to himself. Endless nagging, and can't listen to other people's words, mother like this, the poetry is really a little tired.
Shiwen asked her mother, "Mom, do you think you don't have any problems at all?" ”
The mother became vicious: "What is wrong with me, I am worthy of your father, and I am worthy of you, I work hard for this family, washing clothes, mopping the floor, washing dishes, cooking, which of these tasks is not my doing." What did your dad do while he was alive? But he just didn't understand me, I worked so hard, he was still so indifferent to me. You too, like your dad, are a white-eyed wolf. ”
The mother complained incessantly at the poem, who covered her ears in pain, and she was really going crazy.
02
Her mother was a housewife, and after she became pregnant with Shiwen, she did not go to work because she was not in good health. In fact, Shiwen's father has always wanted her to go out and contact people more, but she herself does not want to go out, so she has been staying at home.
The mother's family responsibilities, in The Poetry's view, are limited to cleaning, washing clothes, mopping the floor, washing dishes, cooking, and a range of other chores. It was a lot to watch, it was tiring, and it was indeed worthy of respect, but she was not willing to do it, but with a kind of compulsion, and she would also convey this emotional compulsion to her husband and children.
Shiwen remembered that when his father was alive, he said, "If you really don't like it, you can not do it, no one in this family forces you to do housework, do the housework if you want to do it, don't always be so bitter and vengeful", but her mother directly shouted: "I don't do who does it, in the end I don't do it, will you help me do it?" You're so lazy, you know all day long that you're running out, and you're not throwing this home at me. Without me, what would you eat, what would you drink, where would you be able to live so easily? ”
When her mother first said this, she would still sympathize with her father, feeling that her father was irresponsible, but after a long time, the poem was unwilling to listen. After starting middle school, she began to live in school, and after Shiwen left her mother, she felt that her life was much cleaner. Later, when I went to college and worked in other places, I had fewer opportunities to go home. Therefore, over the years, Shiwen's understanding of her mother is biased, she thinks that her mother has changed, different from before, but she did not expect that her mother was still in the same place.
Shiwen's parents' marital relationship was not very good, and when Shiwen was in high school, her father mentioned a divorce, but her mother threatened to commit suicide. Then the two of them never mentioned divorce again, but Shiwen remembered her mother's cry: "Do you say that your father is still a person?" He wanted to divorce me, I worked so hard, I gave everything for this family, he even wanted to divorce me. Your father is a conscienceless man, I have prepared everything for him all day long, and he still hates me and wants to abandon me. How do you treat me like this, what am I doing wrong? ”
At first, Shiwen also advised her father because of her mother's crying, but when she told her father, her father just sighed helplessly, and then said the words to Shiwen: "Your mother is a poor and angry person." ”
At that time, my father said of my mother that the poem was still incomprehensible.
But now, after his father's death, Shiwen thoroughly understands his father's suffering.
After the death of her father, Shiwen spent time with her mother day and night, and the object of her mother's strategy became her. She wanted to go away, and she was constantly walking in the two states of closeness and resistance to her mother, but in the end it was herself who was wronged. Emotionally affected, her mother's inexhaustible desire to control suffocated her and made her feel like she was going crazy.
03
My mother said to The Poet, "You have been sorry for me all your life, and I have lost so much in my life." Married, my husband did not listen to me, and became a widow in middle age and was ridiculed by others. The only daughter was in league with her father, did not understand me, and always opposed me. You are not filial piety, do you think your father is good? Your dad didn't take much care of you, you were raised by me. Without me, there would be you now. ”
To be crazy, to be crazy, Shiwen felt that her mother had a very serious mental illness.
Shiwen decided to "run away from home", no filial piety, no filial piety, she did not know how to save her mother. After spending a long time with my mother, I realized that a person like her, whose disregard for people in her bones is like a sharp blade for killing people, can annihilate all the expectations of a person and a family. She can't see anyone but herself, and all she likes is to drag herself into hell, making people feel deeply desperate.
It was so painful, so suffocating!
People like Shiwen's mother belong to a very stubborn, completely live in their own world, when she nags, even if her husband does not want to listen, she still continues to nag, passing this negative energy emotion to her husband, who will feel very bored. Or nagging her children, their children are already bored, or deaf, she can't perceive the emotions of others, feel that everyone is sorry for her, but why not her own reasons?
Woman, don't live like a poetic mother, if so, it is so sad.
Sometimes don't blame other people for your unhappiness, maybe it's your mentality that's wrong. Go out and look around more, live a little more openly, and not be too negative. Don't always force yourself, kidnaps others with emotions, people won't read you well, and even think you're annoying.
One reader left a message with me: "My mother is such a person, always imposing her own ideas on others, and others are stupid if they don't accept them." She only cares about her own feelings, completely disregarding what others think. ”
I hope that you will live with love in life, not screwing, and not suffering, complaining.
You have to see the beauty in life, don't always nag, too much nagging is really scary.
Today's topic: Do you have such people around you? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing about the warm emotional affairs of this world.