Nandu News reporter Ye Siming "The People's Republic of China Family Education Promotion Law" is about to be implemented, "home-school community" co-education has become the focus, "home-school co-education public welfare live broadcast series activities" The first phase of "Principals have come - to support children's growth" warmly launched, a few days ago, Yao Xunqi, principal of the Affiliated Middle School of South China Normal University, was a guest in the network live broadcast room, and DuRan, president of the Guangdong Artificial Intelligence Industry Association, talked about quality education, family education, high-quality parent-child companionship and other hot topics in education at present, and how to do a good job in family education for parents to help children grow. It is reported that the activity was sponsored by the Guangdong Provincial Women's Federation and jointly organized by the Guangdong Youth Network Association, the Guangdong Provincial Women and Children's Activity Center, and the Guangdong Provincial Family Education Research Association.
What is the "essence of education"?
Helping students become "their best selves"
Yao Xunqi likened Huafu to a "big forest", children explore different paths in the "big forest" to the exit, "some people are walking, some people are running, some people are flying", Huafu hopes to provide more opportunities for each student to grow. Yao Xunqi said that in addition to emphasizing learning, Huafu is also willing to let children take the time to temper their will and develop sports, art and other hobbies, and has opened more than 180 elective courses this semester. Duran believes that only with better non-intellectual factors can the child's intellectual factors be promoted in a complementary way.
What is the essence of education? Yao Xunqi believes that it is to help children discover and become the best version of themselves. Duran believes that it is very important to cultivate children's ability to think and judge independently, and the most important thing in education is to awaken and strengthen the spiritual strength of young people, so as to stimulate their potential creative psychological power.
How to carry out "family education"?
To "show kindness and love" but also to "be an example"
Yao Xunqi believes that the focus of family education is to create a good family atmosphere, parents should pay attention to two key points, one is the family harmony and harmony, the relationship between parents should be harmonious, and even in front of the child to "show love". The second is to create a good learning atmosphere, parents should teach by example, lead by example, and cultivate children's good learning habits. Yao Xunqi mentioned that the importance of parents leading by example in the "mobile phone management" problem that all parents are concerned about, "the most important thing is that parents must manage their own use of mobile phones, you must not say that children do not play mobile phones, you play mobile phones there yourself, (if so) all your reasons and requirements are unacceptable in the minds of children."
When is the best time to lead by example? Yao Xunqi said that children have "important others" at different stages of growth, starting with parents, primary school teachers, and later peers, parents in the child's growth process of "important others" role, the ranking continues to decline, the power of role models is of course the sooner the better.
Duran mentioned the famous saying of the Austrian psychologist Adler that "lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are cured of childhood all their lives", and she believes that a very good atmosphere should be created starting from the family itself. For example, Duran said that there are many friends around him, the living room TV is dismantled, changed into a bookshelf, can read everywhere at home, under the guidance of the parents' example, the child naturally slowly develops good reading habits.
How to accompany with high quality?
"Golden time" solidifies good memories
Yao Xunqi believes that in family education, "high-quality companionship" is not only reflected in accompanying children to do homework, but more importantly, helping children develop in personality, physical and mental health. He made three suggestions: First, when you can go home, don't rub it. Second, cherish dinner time with your child, and set aside a fixed time after dinner to talk about recent progress. Third, at important life moments such as your child's birthday, prepare small gifts to bring him surprises.
Duran believes that it is necessary to create a "golden time" with children, take time to accompany children to do what she likes, and create a sense of picture through such "golden time", which can make children remember for a lifetime. She talked about her daughter's educational philosophy, "tactically" impossible to accompany every class; but "strategically", will agree with her daughter on what books to read, what friends to make, what to do at what time to meet what standards, "I hope to open more windows for her, so that she can see more in childhood, and have more choices in the future," Duran said.
How to deal with the "rebellious period"?
Adolescent parents do four things well
Adolescent children are the most difficult to manage, Yao Xunqi believes that parents should do four things well:
First, open your eyes, look at the advantages of the child, and boast about it, because adolescent children need more affirmation and praise from the outside world.
Second, open your ears and learn to listen, so that children feel that parents treat him as an equal adult, and children can have the right and opportunity to express their opinions.
Third, keep your mouth shut, if in 10 minutes, the mother's words account for 60%, it will be noticed, if more than 90%, maybe parents will have to see a psychologist.
Fourth, step on the legs, when the child is facing confusion can not be helped, the child asks for parents' opinions, and parents should provide "scaffolding" to help him.
Duran deeply feels the same about the "scaffolding principle", she said, the difficulty of the task for the child is within the range of the child's reach, the child will feel that he has the ability and the motivation to progress, through the "scaffolding principle" continues to get this feeling from the positive motivation.
How to alleviate educational anxiety?
"Raising sons as sons-in-law"
"Many parents have anxiety that, at the root of it, is that they don't figure out what kind of person they want to raise their children into." Yao Xunqi proposed empathy to alleviate anxiety, "I often tell parents that they should cultivate their sons as sons-in-law and daughters as daughters-in-law. Don't keep feeling like your child has problems of one kind or another."
"So anxious parents should care more about themselves, shift their attention from the child to themselves, to enrich their own 'world', when you have friends and other concerns, the child will be more relaxed", Duran believes that everyone has their own life, "you do not need to be me, nor do you need to approach me, you are consistent with the world in your way."
How to "home-school community" co-education?
Clarify the boundaries of family education and school education
"Don't learn motherly kindness and filial piety, learn chicken flying dog jumping." Faced with the problem of headaches for most parents, Yao Xunqi recruited parents to first clarify the boundaries of family education and school education.
Yao Xunqi believes that in the matter of learning, it should be the school to assume the main responsibility, and the family should play a role of cooperation and assistance. "Knowledge learning and skill improvement should be left to the school; the creation of family atmosphere and the formation of learning habits should be left to parents." Only by distinguishing clearly can the pressure on the child be reduced." At the same time, Yao Xunqi believes that family education and school education goals are the same, so that children should develop morally, intellectually, physically, mentally, and morally, physically and mentally, maintain interest in learning, and be able to face various challenges in the future.
Duran said that she deeply feels that "those who get the family get education, parents are resources and allies", and all parties in the school and family society should work together to mobilize all positive forces to promote the all-round growth of children.