Source: Mom's Handbook (ID: jqfans)
At two o'clock in the morning, I received a WeChat message from Yo-Yo's mother, describing what happened after half a year of giving birth to a baby:
Avoid letting the child leave their sight, afraid that the child will encounter danger at any time;
Do not trust grandparents to take children, think that the older generation in many small things can not pay attention;
From the big water kettle hair dryer at home to the small fruit knife nail clippers, all of them were put into locked cabinets or drawers, for fear of accidentally injuring themselves by mistake;
Can't sleep in the middle of the night, ready to deal with the child's crying in the middle of the night for various reasons.
……
Exhausted by insomnia and overwork, Yo-Yo's mother said, "I feel like I'm sick. ”
During the day, I dare not leave my children for a moment, and at night I have to keep an eye on my children, and when I blow the grass, I will be a soldier... She suffered from a disease called "child-centered."
This disease, light or heavy, when the mother basically got through, Mai Card today to talk about the major symptoms of the disease, bao moms to see how much they have won?
"Love fish heads"
"I don't like to eat fish, I love to eat fish heads", is the biggest "lie" that Morning Mom heard when she was a child, every time she cooked fish at home, her mother never used chopsticks to cut off the fish head and put it in the bowl, and the fish meat was not touched at all.
At that time, I really thought that my mother was a strange person who only loved to eat fish heads.
Unexpectedly, after having children, I also became a mother who "loves to eat fish heads".
Of course, the current conditions are much better than before, and our family will not only burn a fish, this "love to eat fish head", referring to my "good must be left to the child" problem.
Some time ago, I saw a post listing the mode of getting along between "me" and my mother, and the most impressive one was the following picture.
I looked: Huh? Isn't that me?
I remember the first time I tried to make a birthday cake for the egg, although I had done a lot of homework before, I still failed twice in the process of baking the cake embryo, and I did not bake it into shape.
Unfortunately, the egg daddy egg allergy, in line with the principle of not wasting, these defective products, scraps, I can only digest alone.
Fortunately, Egg Egg very much liked the cake I gave him specially, and looking at the child's smiling face, I thought I was the happiest and most satisfied mother in the world
I happened to see this Weibo again:
The man went to his parents' house to visit two elderly people, and when he pushed open the door, his parents were eating, and when he saw that his son had returned, the mother brought dumplings to her son, saying that "eating one is enough."
After a woman becomes a mother, even if she reaches the age of 92, she still can't help but put her children first.
The greatness of maternal love is not only selfless giving, but also that it is only an instinct.
"Shopaholic"
It is said that "women are born shopaholics", I didn't think it before, and after having a baby, I really realized how correct this sentence is.
Singles' Eleven, 39 orders, 25 of which are gifts for eggs and Fifi, including scooters, three-dimensional puzzles, books...
Double twelve, 27 orders, in addition to daily necessities is the special session of the baby, scarves, gloves, down jackets...
How to say that the two babies are also so old, after so many years, the experience of being a mother is still a bit.
Usually daily consumables should be bought and bought, do not have to hoard too much, children's clothes and the like are also directly taken to the mall to see in the season, try to control their shopping desire.
However, Yo-Yo Mom, a new mother, is still in the pit.
The baby is only half a year old, and he is ready to wear a small skirt and cute plush toys that can be worn when he is three or four years old. Barbie little girls are all loved, buy! Disney co-brand limited edition children's bag, buy!
Recently, Chen's mother is chasing "Xiao Min's Family", and Li Ping in it is also such a mother who loves to "buy, buy and buy" for her children.
Some people say that they are making up, pleasing and "seducing" Jiajia, but in the eyes of Chen Ma, she just has a heart that wants to buy and give to the child when she sees anything good.
Although the economic strength is different, the starting points are all the same.
Our ordinary old mothers, there is a more distinctive feature, that is, to be generous to their children and cut themselves!
See how much you've spent on food and clothing for your children this year, and how many new clothes have you added?
"Paranoia"
The news has reported an incident in which an "eight-year-old daughter was held in captivity by her mother" was reported.
This mother in Qingdao, at the age of 41, loves her daughter in every way, rarely allows her daughter to contact the outside world, and her daughter does not even know her grandparents.
What is even more bizarre is that because of the fear that her daughter will be bullied and wronged by other children, her daughter still did not go to kindergarten when she was 8 years old.
The mother said she did this out of love for her daughter. The daughter is completely free at home, wanting to learn what she wants, playing what she wants.
This absurd approach is a manifestation of a mother's extreme psychological fragility and excessive anxiety, like suffering from paranoia about being victimized.
It is the same as the leisurely pathology mentioned at the beginning of the article.
If the highest level of mother's anxiety is ten, then Yo-Yo is probably at level three or four, and the mother who has adopted her daughter in captivity must have reached the full level.
"Hen nursing cubs" psychological morning mother is very understandable, until now the morning mother is still in a state of anxiety level two, but everyone understands that too much is too late, overprotective is the biggest harm to the child.
There are many setbacks and obstacles in life, we can't break through them for our children, and it is impossible to occupy their own lives.
Keep a normal heart and show up in time when your child signals us for help.
"Glass Heart"
I admit that after becoming a mother, I became a glass heart.
The female warrior who used to be indestructible is gone, and I have become a person who cares more about the eyes of others (especially in the matter of carrying a baby) and cares more about the thoughts of children.
"Comparison" and "standard" are problems that we often encounter after having children.
These questions prompt us to be restless and anxious, to doubt our ability to be mothers:
Obviously, I have read so many parenting books, heard so many truths, and actively asked others for experience, how can I not do it well?
Many mothers have also fallen into such self-blame, and sometimes even if it is just a casual word from others, I am very concerned.
When the child grows up, we begin to pay attention to what kind of person we are as a mother in the eyes of the child.
Will my son/daughter feel inferior to other moms? Isn't it good for me to do this? Will the child stop loving me?
When educating children, glass hearts seem to be so obstructive, whether to become an imaginary "good mother" or make rational decisions, the two need to choose.
After becoming a mother, we all got this "child-centered" disease, and we all became less like ourselves.
There are a few symptoms, everyone tests themselves, and what Mai Card wants to tell everyone is:
This disease varies from person to person, and sensibility is never fault.
But we should also grasp the degree of it, correct the mentality, and don't let love fall into unintentional harm
The content of this issue is original by the mother's manual, and thousands of mothers are reading the scientific parenting manual. Editor-in-chief: Morning Mom, sharing parenting knowledge, parent-child education experience, quality life concept, and accompanying tens of millions of parents to grow together.