I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
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A friend said: "I have never felt it, and it is so uncomfortable to have no money." ”
She made such an exclamation, which surprised everyone at first, and those who did not know her well enough would feel that she was dissatisfied and vain.
She has a house and a car in a big city, almost no loans, and a few hundred yuan a month to pay off the mortgage can be ignored.
Already in this way, she is still complaining about the lack of money, how should those who do not even have a stable place to live?
In fact, when you know her well enough, you can fully understand her feelings.
Faced with the needs of her children, she felt the embarrassment of "less money" for the first time
The year before, this good friend became a mother, and now her baby is almost 3 years old, from a small baby in swaddling, to a tooth and teeth, and now it seems to have become a small adult.
It's hard work, but it's happy.
As the baby grows up, her mentality changes with it, she used to feel that she has no worries about life, has food and drink, is very satisfied, and now she wants to provide her child with the best possible living conditions and educational resources.
I understand this mentality of hers very well, because my baby is also at this age, and as a mom, I very much agree with her ideas and support her approach.
Last year, due to the epidemic, the price of cherries plunged, basically 40 yuan can buy a pound of fresh and full cherries, 199 yuan can buy a box.
Last year, cherizi freedom was basically achieved.
Not long ago, she took the baby to buy fruit, and as soon as the baby entered the fruit shop, he saw a big round and plump cherry, held out his small hand and said, "Mom, I want to eat this." ”
Friends were embarrassed at that time, now the cherry 100 yuan a pound, a box of not much stuff, casually weighed more than 200 yuan.
She hesitated, and the colleague felt embarrassed and embarrassed.
Buy it, it's too expensive, don't buy it, the child wants to eat.
In the face of children's needs, should parents try to meet them, or should they refuse?
I understand my friend's situation very well, not only because I have the same baby at home, watching her grow up little by little, but also because I have had the same experience.
Cherries, strawberries, these very tempting fruits, are liked by many girls.
Last year, the price of cherries plummeted, and my family also bought a few boxes, and the baby basically had to eat a dozen a day.
I've had a similar experience this year.
The baby pointed to the big cherry and said to me, "Mom, I want to eat this." ”
I asked about the price and simply refused the baby's request.
After that, the baby has been "grumpy", I bought the baby her favorite strawberries, and when she got home, she was still asking: "Mom, why can't I eat cherries?" ”
I told the baby: "Because the cherry is too expensive, it costs more than 100 yuan a pound." ”
At first, I will also have a nervous mood, afraid that letting the baby face the helplessness of life will affect the shaping of the baby's personality.
As it turned out, I was overly worried.
The other day she was playing with a car toy, the car door broke, she said sadly: "100 yuan to buy something, so easy to break." ”
At that time, when I heard her words, the whole family was stunned and immediately burst out laughing.
This car was not bought for 100 yuan, about forty or fifty yuan, but this "100 yuan" must have come from the cherry, and she would probably think that 100 yuan is very expensive.
Sometimes in the face of some of the needs of the baby, parents have some difficulty in meeting, or exceed the average consumption level of the family, parents do not need to worry about anything at all, directly tell the child, let the child face the real problem, and parents together to feel the real consumption level of the family, which is a good thing for the child.
Within the scope of tolerance, it is necessary to meet the needs of children
We must let children recognize reality, but children are children after all, and they will not always remain in a calm and objective state like adults, they will often ignore objective facts and think only of what they want.
For example, my baby likes to eat strawberries, the current price of strawberries is expensive, the fruit is generally 40 to 50 yuan a pound, if you buy some fresh group purchase of small fruits, the price is also more than 20 yuan.
I am unlikely to buy myself too many large strawberries to eat, but I can achieve strawberry freedom.
But the effect is not necessarily there, when the baby proposes to eat strawberries, it will still satisfy the baby.
Baby enjoys the process of eating strawberries and will think of sharing them, and every time she is happy to eat, she will pick the biggest strawberry to share with her family.
At this time, we must cooperate, and exaggerated with her, saying that strawberries are really delicious.
At this time, the baby will be very happy.
I personally think that within the scope of tolerance, it is possible to meet some of the baby's desires and needs, because their needs are limited, and when parents meet the child, the child will not over-pursue these substances.
There are restrictions and freedoms, so that children can feel the level of material prices.
When satisfied, children will feel great joy and their satisfaction will soar.
When they are occasionally rejected, they will not feel hurt, will accept objective facts, and have the concept of "high or low prices" in their minds, which is a good foundation for the establishment of children's financial quotients.
It is precisely because children are young that they need to be satisfied and derive pleasure from contentment.
It's part of a child's joy as they grow up.
But parents can not indulge their children, we need to let children accept the reality bit by bit, let them learn to look at the material conditions from the reality, recognize the reality, when they want to achieve their dreams, they will complete the breakthrough.
The process of parenting is like this, there are loose and chi, starting from reality, not hiding, so that children and parents face the real life together.