Oniguzi said, "Those who are soft-hearted are not blessed," and this sentence is particularly reasonable.
Because people with soft hearts and lack of concepts of right and wrong, they usually lose their principles and compromise in order to satisfy others.
Those who are soft-hearted, they must remember 3 sentences in their dealings with the world, and the blessings come from them.
When you have no choice, you must not give your sincerity in its entirety
People with soft hearts always feel that if they give their hearts sincerely, they will be appreciated and liked by others. In the end, it is often deception.
The "Augmentation of the Sages" writes: Every person only says three points of words, and cannot throw away a piece of heart.
In the "Biography of Yuan Chonghuan in the History of Ming", it is recorded that on July 14 of the first year of Chongzhen (1628), the Chongzhen Emperor summoned Yuan Chonghuan.
Emperor Chongzhen consulted Yuan Chonghuan on the use of military strategy, and Yuan replied: "The strategy has been written in the song shu. His Majesty was given special favor and hoped that by taking this opportunity, it was expected that within five years, the Liao lands would be fully recovered. ”
The Chongzhen Emperor said, "After recovering the Liao Land, Shuo will not skimp on the reward of the marquis." The Qing family strives to save the world from danger, and Qing's descendants will also be blessed. ”
The emperor retired to rest, and asked Xu Yuqing about the strategy of recovering Liaodi in five years.
Yuan Chonghuan said, "Shengshang is anxious, so just use these words to comfort him." ”
Xu Yuqing said, "Saint Shang is wise, how can you deal with it casually?" He asks for results by date, what to do? ”
Yuan Chonghuan was discouraged and consciously lost his words.
Later, when the officials impeached Yuan Chonghuan, the Chongzhen Emperor still believed it, which also led to Yuan Chonghuan being imprisoned and killed.
The Chongzhen Emperor convicted Yuan Chonghuan of nine crimes, one of which was "arrogance and deception", which referred to Yuan Chonghuan's goal of "five years of restoration".
If Yuan Chonghuan had not made a promise of "five years to restore Liao" in order to curry favor with the Chongzhen Emperor, he would not have been killed in the end.
True friendship can stand the test of time and interests, and those who leave the scene are nothing more than because of the unequal use of each other.
Express yourself cautiously
Wise people like to remain silent, and stupid people always like to talk.
Knowing that it was called for a summer, no one took care of it. As soon as the rooster crows, the farmer gets up and goes to work.
During the Three Kingdoms period, Yang Xiu's death was that he could not control his mouth, and he did not know how to express his attitude cautiously.
When building the garden, Cao Cao wrote a "living" word on the door, just to let everyone guess his intentions and praise him by the way.
Yang Xiu, who had a lot of words, ran to the craftsman and said, "Hurry up and make the door smaller, the minister thinks that the door is too wide." ”
Cao Cao's heart was easily recognized by people in this way, and Cao Cao was unhappy in his heart. Yang Xiu also showed how strong he was everywhere, and he guessed it at once.
Another time, when Cao Cao was in Hanzhong, he suffered defeats one after another. In a dilemma, he said the password of "chicken ribs".
Yang Xiu put it up again and said: Let's pack our bags quickly, and others asked him strangely: "How do you know how to go back", Yang Xiu replied: "Chicken ribs, food without meat, abandonment of taste, can not win, retreat to fear people laugh." So the king is going to return to the army. ”
In the autumn of the twenty-fourth year of Jian'an (219), Yang Xiu and Cao Zhi were drunk and came out of Sima Men, and slandered Cao Zhang, the Marquis of Yanling, and Cao Cao was so angry that he ordered Yang Xiu to be executed on charges of "leaking words and teachings before and after, and handing over the princes of Guanguan", and Yang Xiu sighed: "I insisted that I would die late." ”
Although Yang Xiu was talented, he had too many words to express his attitude cautiously, which led to his final killing.
In daily life, we should think more about what to say and what not to say, and express our attitude cautiously.
There are no unprovoked benefits
No matter who gives you inexplicable benefits, remember to refuse, without paying must not get benefits, the back is definitely a pit.
In "Serious Case Six Groups 3", there is such a set of shots: there is a magician on the street, he holds a blank piece of paper in his hand, uses a stall, and instantly turns into a hundred-dollar bill.
The magician held a hundred-dollar bill in his hand, shouted a change in his mouth, and the hundred-dollar bill instantly turned into a dollar, and the onlookers were surprised.
Understanding the host next to the magician, he began to flicker, master Wang can not only double the banknote, but also double the gold jewelry. After speaking, the onlookers took their jewelry and put it in Master Wang's bag.
After Master Wang got the gold and silver jewelry, he changed a few tricks, and suddenly a burst of white smoke disappeared.
The female host understood and said: The performance ends here. Onlookers gathered around the female host and asked for their own gold and silver jewelry.
The hostess said: Everyone went home and looked under their pillows early tomorrow morning. Which one sleeps the most soundly, which one has a greater multiplier of the golden hand ornament.
The female host said two words and said something back to the onlookers. In the process of escaping, Master Wang was also arrested.
In this world, no one will give you unprovoked benefits, one point of hard work, one point of harvest. Take advantage of the small, eat big losses.
What to do when you have a soft heart?
1. Put away compassion
Put away compassion, look at people emotionally, and do things rationally. I sympathize with you emotionally, but rationally, I can't help you. Decisions are rational things to do, to take sensibility a little further.
2. Psychological cues
Psychological hint to yourself: be a person with an iron heart, not moved by anything, and always stay awake. Tell yourself to be a cruel person and reduce compassion.
When you encounter something, tell yourself. Why should you sympathize with yourself and pity others?
3, be a fierce person
People with fierce hearts are also relatively strong people. He doesn't ask for anything, and his personality is particularly self-reliant.
People with independent personalities can also reduce trouble for others. There will be no "loving motherhood, loving fatherhood" overflowing.
Only when you are independent can you have the qualifications to be cruel. When you encounter things, don't think about who will help you.
summary:
People with soft hearts seem to be open-minded, but they are actually a manifestation of their own irresponsibility.
They will try their best to meet the needs of others and ignore their own inner feelings.
For the rest of your life, first learn to love yourself, and then go to love others.
Soft heart, to leave to those who know how to cherish