As the saying goes, "three years old looks small, seven years old looks old". In a sense, this sentence has a certain truth, before the age of seven is a critical period for children's personality formation, concept formation, and habit formation. Being able to develop the right behavior patterns for children before the age of seven is not only of great benefit to the child's growth, but also makes it easier for parents to educate their children in the future.
Professor Li Meijin once proposed in the parenting lecture hall that "the sooner the personality, the better", she told parents that if you don't care before the age of 6, the 6-year-old child may lose his temper with you to make you accommodate him, and when he is 12 years old, he may threaten you by jumping off the building. The child's behavior pattern has a key impact on his character development, and the earlier he develops the correct behavior pattern, the more positive it has a positive effect on the child's character development.
Some parents may not be impressed by Professor Li Meijin's view that "the child may threaten you in various ways to accommodate him", and feel that it is not so serious, and you can often hear such remarks around you: "A child can understand something." It is precisely this sentence that, in many ways, unconsciously encourages children to do the wrong thing.
In real life, many families indulge their children, especially when the older generation takes care of their children, all depend on the child's temper, the child will immediately compromise as soon as he makes a fuss, and the next time he does not accommodate, the child will use a more intense way to let the parents compromise.
In the show "Super Parenting", a 6-year-old boy named Zhixin, that is, his grandmother has been accommodating, which caused Zhixin to get angry as soon as he had emotions, and he was grumpy, and even lifted the table, smashed the chair, and took scissors and kitchen knives to the nurseryman.
When the nursery teacher showed the child's mother and grandmother a picture of the child's upset, the mother never expected her child to become like this, collapsing and crying, but the grandmother did not think so. After that, the mother began to take Zhixin herself, when she brushed her teeth for Zhixin, Zhixin did not want to brush her teeth, she lost her temper, maybe she had encountered this situation before, Grandma compromised, Zhixin achieved the goal, but this time the mother did not compromise, Zhixin then fell the chair, seeing that this situation was useless to the mother, Zhixin began to scratch her mother's hair, in the company of the nursery, the mother still did not compromise, Zhixin looked at nothing, and the result began to hurt herself, pulling her hair wildly, putting her feet on the cold ground, In order to achieve the purpose of making the mother feel sad and compromise.
Seeing here is really very heart-wrenching, just from the performance of the children on the show, I can't imagine how arrogant the children are usually, 6-year-old children can take a knife to people, can rip off their mother's hair, and can achieve their goals by hurting themselves. If it is not stopped, the family will have to suffer even more in the future.
How should a child before the age of 6 develop his behavior patterns?
Spend more time with your children
This is the premise of developing children's habits and personality, and the child's appearance of a lot of irritability or some excessive actions is his resistance to the outside world. Due to the lack of parental company, the child is insecure in his heart, even if he has the care of other relatives, the child will still yearn for the company of his parents.
Older generations may have a backward parenting concept, and with generations of relatives, grandparents tend to indulge their grandchildren or granddaughters. The lack of companionship of the elderly will be more aware of the feeling of the lack of companionship of the child, so it will be more distressed and spoiled when facing the child, the child will give what he wants, and the child's temper will not be overwhelmed.
In the world of children, how much money mom and dad make is not an idea for him, he only knows if his parents are around him. When a child can feel enough love, it doesn't matter at all that the toys you buy for him are not expensive, what is important to him is the toys that you play with your parents.
Many times, it is adults who feel that children need famous brands and expensive toys, hope to use the excellent economy to build self-confidence for children, afraid that children will be inferior when facing classmates who wear famous brands, but this may only be what adults need, not what children really need.
Companionship is already a common topic, but how many times it is emphasized is not too much, society has been actively calling on parents to give their children companionship, but how many parents can really take time to accompany their children.
Tell your child clearly what is right and what is wrong
Children before the age of 6 do not understand a lot of things, and it is precisely because they do not understand that parents need to clearly tell their children whether they are right or wrong. In the adult world, we are accustomed to hiding and hiding our attitudes and emotions, but the child's world does not need to be hidden, they need clear signals, clearly told what behaviors can be done and what cannot be done.
Imagine if you did something you shouldn't have done in the workplace, but you didn't know it, no one told you what was happening, you could only feel the criticism of your colleagues around you and the sudden accusations of the leaders, would you wonder what you did wrong? In the same way, the child is the same, if the child can only feel your anger, he will not know what he has done wrong, he will only feel wronged, so he will lose his temper and make trouble.
When a child does something wrong, tell the child exactly what went wrong. For example, in the first example, when Zhixin dropped the chair, her mother needed to directly tell Zhixin, "It is wrong for you to drop the chair." ”
The child may not be able to listen to the angry head, at this time the parents need to repeat this sentence, until the child calms down, let the child listen, and need to strengthen this matter again in some future scenes, and when watching similar scenes in the cartoon with the child, tell the child again" "You see, is it wrong to drop something." ”
In the same way, children also need to know clearly what is right, when children go to help others, do not just say "you are awesome", but point out where it is great, "You share your toys with children, this is great, sharing is a good thing, you have to learn to share in the future." 」 With such words, the child can clearly know what he has done and will be praised, and he will repeat this action in the future.
Teach your child to control their emotions
Children's ability to control emotions needs to be learned, not only children, but many adults need to learn how to manage emotions.
The baby will only cry when he is hungry, because he does not know what other ways to express his needs, the child grows up slowly, if the parents do not tell the child how to manage emotions, the child will only lose his temper to show his heart.
If your child is very angry, smashes a chair and hits someone, you can tell your child, "If you feel angry, you can take a deep breath, take a few deep breaths, and you will relieve your uncomfortable emotions." Then take a few deep breaths with your child so that your child understands what deep breathing is. The next time the child loses his temper, remind the child again to take a few deep breaths, so that after practicing again and again, the child will slowly learn to control the irritable emotions.
Before the age of 6, spend more time with your children and grow up with your children, and you will find that accompanying your children to grow up is far more important than how much money you make. In the process of accompanying the child, clearly tell the child what is right and what is wrong, what needs to be noted here is that it must be clear enough to tell the child, the child needs to know the right and wrong clearly, you can let the child repeat what is wrong again, deepen the impression. Finally, with your child, learn to control your emotions. I believe that your companionship and nurturing of him will one day surprise you in another way.
The pictures are from the internet, if there is infringement, please contact to delete!