Master the level of initiative to listen well. Active listening means that we have the initiative to listen, according to the three rebellious periods of time to distinguish, in different time periods, our degree of initiative should also change: in early childhood, the child and the mother will be more entangled, so if he has emotions, we can go directly to him, patiently ask, listen to him well.
In childhood, the child's own ideas will be more clear, but at the same time he may have a little secret that he does not want to tell us, then we do not necessarily have to take the initiative to listen, simply ask "do you want to talk to your mother", if the answer is yes, listen carefully, but if it is negative. You can temporarily give up the initiative, unless the child comes over and says it himself, otherwise don't force it. When it comes to adolescence, we must respect the child's independent consciousness and privacy, even if we take the initiative to listen, do not bring out the meaning of inquiry.
We have the right to listen, but the child also has the right to say and not to say, and at this time the child has a certain ability to deal with emotions, to give him enough trust, if he really does not need to tell us, then there is no need to take the initiative to ask up the end, give the child enough space, trust him, support him is enough. Listen carefully, attentively, and calmly. When a child wants to tell you what he thinks and goes through, you have to give him a satisfactory response, which is to listen seriously, attentively, and calmly.
That is to say, when listening, there must be an active attitude, so that the child realizes that the mother really wants to listen to him, and he can say it with confidence. Seriousness means that you will not be absent-minded, you will treat the child's emotions well; concentration, means that you will focus on the things in front of you, will not divert nor look forward; calm, means that you can appease the child, the mother's calm will make the child's excited emotions infected, and eventually quiet down, which is undoubtedly beneficial to emotional processing.