01
As the saying goes, for decades of life, the most important thing is to please yourself.
It seems that as long as a person is selfish, he can cover his wallet and have a deposit; he can not be taken advantage of, and his life can be completely separated from others.
The Ming Dynasty literary scholar Lü Kun once said: "Selfishness is an obstacle to making people talented." ”
According to the interpretation of words, selfishness is "self-centered and defending one's own interests."
When people reach middle age, there are old people on the top and small ones on the bottom, how to be the head of the family? There should be a balance between selfishness and generosity. Understand that because you are too selfish, you should not form a barrier to interpersonal communication and hinder the development of your family.
Therefore, putting away your "selfishness" and learning to love others is a true gentleman.
02
Don't be too bound to your children.
Someone said, "What is love?" Love is open-mindedness, it is giving, not selfish possession. ”
Many parents expect their children to become big and get into good universities. The idea is very good, but their approach is difficult to understand.
Once, for various reasons, parents lost the opportunity to learn, and now they impose their learning goals on their children.
"I'm all for your own good", such a sentence, there is a temperature, but also a moral kidnapping component.
I have seen a philosophical story: an old man in his sixties retired and returned to his hometown to plant trees. Some people ask, why plant trees? The old man said that because he liked to listen to the birdsong in the trees.
Plant the plane tree, and there will be a phoenix. This is the intelligence of the old man.
In the city, there are also many retired elderly people, carrying bird cages, which are called walking birds. Someone asked, why walk the birds? The old man said, because I like birdsong.
Yes, they are all bird lovers, how do they love in a very different way, but they are very different?
True love is planting a forest and letting the birds roost freely, rather than building a birdcage made of gold.
The American educator Dewey said: "Education must begin with a psychological exploration of children's energies, interests and habits." Each aspect of it must be grasped in the light of these considerations. ”
The education of love should always go along the water, rather than letting the child complete the cause you have not completed.
03
To colleagues and friends, don't think about calculations.
As the saying goes: "Man is not for himself, and heaven condemns him to death." ”
Everyone wants to make a fortune, work with people, and expect benefits rather than truth.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, Bao Shuya was the first minister under Duke Huan of Qi, but he recommended Guan Zhong and was willing to follow him. Giving up a lofty position seems perverse. If it were you, I guess you wouldn't do it. After all, the level of location is directly related to the level of income.
Zheng Guo's zipi refused to accept the high-ranking official Houlu, but recommended the child' inheritance. The outstanding childbirth ability makes Zheng Guo strong step by step.
Confucius said, "I have heard of Bao Shu Da Guan Zhong, Zi Pi Da Zi Zhi, and I have not heard of the second son's talent of Da Xian Himself." ”
In the eyes of Confucius, those who dare to recommend others are the truly noble people.
When people reach middle age and want to make a difference, they must get help from noble people. This noble person is not a person who appeared for no reason, but a person who has "something to do with you".
"Leave a line of human feelings, see each other in the future", no matter how selfish you are, you must know how to give some benefits to others and leave an emotional card, otherwise you will become a lonely person.
Calculation is not as good as cooperation, and dependence is not as good as self-reliance. Moderate generosity will make you more respected.
04
Don't ask too much of your lover.
Maugham said, "Love needs to have a feeling of weakness, a demand for thoughtful love, a passion to help and please others—if not selfless, at least cleverly concealed selfishness." ”
Two people fell in love, then got married and started a family. From your own point of view, you always hope that the other party can accommodate themselves and build a perfect family according to their own design plan.
In fact, true love is to try to change yourself and give each other a perfect family.
What the other party needs, you help him achieve something; if the other party has any shortcomings, you tolerate what shortcomings; when the other party is sad, you accompany them well; when the other party needs you, you appear in time... In this way, love will be eternal.
Don't expect the other person to obey you at all times and never give up. Keep a moderate distance and have your own private space.
Middle-aged love, not the pursuit of romance and perfection, needs to be steady and plain.
05
Don't always be indifferent to strangers.
In "Small Novel Big World", there is such an article: a man goes on a trip, meets a strange young man at the station, and asks him if he wants skin care cream.
The man refused. Because traveling, you don't need to bring too much stuff.
Later, the man discovered that the young man was not a salesman, but was helping a strange girl. The girl's money was stolen, but she was anxious to return to her hometown to visit her very ill grandmother. Reluctantly, the girl took out two bottles of skin cream for money.
The world is not all bad people, there are always some behind the story, will warm people's hearts, will make us believe that there are still many good people in the world.
Your show of hands, your kindness, not only can help others, but also allow yourself to get unexpected networking resources.
With a straight face, it's really ugly, and it's good to smile.
When people reach middle age, money is important, but more important than money is your "kindness".
06
Spiders spit silk in order to catch insects and make themselves a full meal; spring silkworms spit silk to help silkworm farmers and obtain wealth.
Therefore, where there are spider webs, it looks very dark; where there is silk, there is the amazement of broken cocoons and butterflies. The difference between selfishness and generosity is obvious.
The writer Sanmao once said: "To be excessive for oneself is to be selfish." To completely abandon me is to abuse a living being— oneself. ”
People reach middle age and hurry through half their lives. Once upon a time, we took many detours, and we were also calculated and hurt. But we still have to keep a simple heart, learn to think about problems from opposite sides, and analyze problems from multiple perspectives.
Don't blindly pay, don't be selfish all the time, be measured, and orderly.
"Poor is good for themselves, and good for the world", the best state of life, probably like this.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.