The recent incident between Li Lianglei and Wang Lihong can be described as a boiling fire! Li Lianglei mentioned a "narcissistic personality" in a long article on December 20.
In Practical Internal Medicine, it is mentioned that narcissistic personality is a personality disorder, and the main manifestation is arrogance. Have a sense of superiority that is not commensurate with yourself, and hope to be respected and obedient to others. Desire to be admired and adored, extremely sensitive to criticism and failure.
People with narcissistic personalities tend to make false attributions, put the blame on others, and attract social attention in ways that hurt the innocent, rather than self-reflection.
Children always think they're perfect?
Beware of having a "narcissistic personality"
"Mom, you see this is a handiwork I made, do you think it looks good?" I think it's super good-looking, and it's definitely the best looking in the class. "In the evening my daughter came over with her handiwork and told me.
It is actually a folded puppy, to be honest, it is not very good-looking. I asked her: How do you think you are the best looking, and there may be more powerful classmates in the class. The child listened to what I said and looked at me with an unhappy face.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a complex personality disorder that is easily misunderstood, and its main personality trait is arrogance, but often under the appearance of excessive arrogance, there is actually a very fragile self-esteem hidden, so the patient will be particularly excited in the face of criticism from others, and this arrogant behavior is mainly to enhance the patient's sense of self-satisfaction.
Thinking of Huang Xiaoming in a variety show "Chinese Restaurant", since the third season of "Chinese Restaurant" was launched, his domineering and "clear words" have supported the hot search topics of this show.
In fact, the superficial hegemony of these "Mingxue" is only the appearance, and there is a great possibility that there is a narcissistic personality disorder behind it. Similarly, children always feel that they are the most perfect behind the hidden narcissistic personality disorder, which is unfavorable to children, so when parents find that their children always feel that they are the most perfect, they also pay attention to it.
How a narcissistic personality is developed
Narcissistic personality is in the process of growing up, under the influence of the outside world, there is a wrong cognition, a little bit of cultivation. Many parents do not realize that when there is a problem, the child is already an adult and it is difficult to change, so it is especially necessary to understand.
Excessive doting: Parents treat their children as treasures, want to provide the best material support for their children, and cannot bear any grievances for their children. When children have needs, they are always able to get unlimited satisfaction. After the child gets used to it at will, he steps into society and hopes that others will treat him like his parents and respond to every request.
Excessive praise: Parents see their children as geniuses and are often proud of them. Even if the child has a little good performance, he will lose no time in praising "you are so smart", "you are awesome", "you are so beautiful", so that the child mistakenly thinks that he is the best person in the world, always feels good about himself, and likes to listen to beautiful words.
Lack of attention: There are also children who are not coddled but neglected, such as a bad parental relationship or divorce. Without being paid attention to when they need to be pampered the most, the child realizes that he cannot expect others to satisfy him, and can only rely on himself. Slowly formed the ideology of "I love myself", and it is easy to be alone when encountering problems.
Parents are narcissistic personalities: Some parents are very narcissistic in themselves, only concerned about themselves, and even the closest children are ranked below themselves. Children's needs are often ignored, humiliated or attacked, and children will activate self-protection mechanisms, imitate the behavior of their parents, and gradually form habits.
How to avoid raising children with narcissistic personalities
If children with narcissistic personalities have become adults and have developed narcissistic personality disorder, it is difficult for them to change, and even they themselves will not realize that they have problems.
The stage of life before the age of 5 is a critical stage in personality development. So, we'd better do a good job of doing a good job before the age of 5 to prevent children from becoming narcissistic personalities.
Do not blindly encourage children: in the process of children's growth, there must be more or less setbacks; children in the process of growth to encounter failure is also an inevitable thing. It is understandable for parents to encourage their children when they encounter setbacks or failures, but it is more important for parents to let their children learn to face the successes and failures they encounter.
In addition, parents should not give unrealistic and publicity encouragement to the child when encouraging the child, but should pay attention to their own wording when encouraging the child, praise the child when specific and sincere, do not praise the child in general: Baby, you are the best.
Learn to reject some of your children's demands: In many families, the child is the center of a family. Therefore, parents are always responsive to their children's needs, especially for some material requirements of children. In fact, it is normal for children to always make demands of one kind or another, because they do not have the ability to form rational judgments, because they do not want to.
If parents only blindly satisfy the child at this time, they will give the child an illusion that their needs are normal and reasonable and should be met. At this time, the child will also think that all people must meet their own requirements. In the face of some unreasonable demands of the child, parents should resolutely refuse, of course, they must also explain some reasons for the child to reject him.
Correct the child's misconception in time: Parents must point out and correct the cognition in time, I bought my daughter a snow white dress, and what surprised me was that when the child put on that dress, the child actually said to me: Mom, I am also a princess now, you will listen to me later. It really made me cry and laugh.
I said to the child on the spot: No, it doesn't mean that you put on the princess's clothes and you are a princess. No matter what kind of clothes you wear and what kind of person you become, you are still your mother's child.
I believe that every parent loves their children, and their children are unique, but even so, parents need to let their children know themselves correctly, and do not give their children a wrong thought: you are the best, no one can compare with you.
The narcissistic personality is not a flood beast, but it is really hurting the people who are troubled by this personality, as well as the people who interact with them, to give the child the correct upbringing, so that the child has a sound personality and obtains a lifetime of happiness.
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