In intimate relationships, a man's fear of a woman is actually obvious. But because most men do so well in hiding fear and vulnerability that even their mother or lover doesn't know how scared they are.
Men hide their fears because they are taught from an early age that real men are not afraid. Even if they feel scared, they can't let anyone know because then they will lose their dignity and lose to other men in the competition.
"You shouldn't let women know you're in fear because they're going to feel like you're not a man, unattractive, and maybe even take advantage of you." For most men, this sentence is the truth, so hiding fear is already an instinctive reaction of theirs.
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They are basically unaware of their fear. However, these fears are actually quite obvious and can be seen without a lot of thought. A man once said to me, "At first I didn't care because I thought , 'I'm not afraid of women.' But from that moment on, my mind kept thinking that these fears might be real, true for as long as I could remember. ”
It's easy for men to hide their fears of women from the outside world, but it's rare to hide them in private. In private, partners will make more conscious efforts to make each other more open and show each other vulnerability. As a result, men's fear of women behaves very differently at home than it does in the outside world.
When men meet a woman who is more authoritative, stronger or capable, confident, or angry than they are, they are most likely to hide their fears (Kierski Blazina, 2010). For example, studies have shown that the more competent a woman is at work, the less likely men working there are to her (Barkhorn, 2013).
Here are some examples of men who fear women in intimate relationships. If you're a man, you can see if you've been tricked. Women can also share it with male friends and colleagues.
1
I want to be free, uninhibited, but I can't be at ease
You're in a relationship. After work, friends will often invite you to a drink. Although you and your girlfriend didn't have any arrangements that day, the first thought in your mind was not whether you wanted to meet your friends, but whether your girlfriend would object, even if you went to a serious party. Although you have called her to confirm, you still have a feeling in your heart that you have done something wrong.
2
Feeling that you have done something wrong because your partner is in a bad mood
You're in a relationship. At the end of the day, you and your partner come home and you feel that she is sad. You ask her if she's okay and she insists it's okay. You ask her again if she's mad at you, and she assures you she doesn't. Despite her repeated assurances, you still can't get rid of your uneasiness completely. The longer she's sad, the more worried you become until her sadness becomes your only concern. You're sure she's angry with you and you've done something "wrong", even though you don't know what it is.
3
Escape your partner's emotional needs
You're in a relationship and you're arguing. You can clearly see her sadness, and her tears make you feel unexpectedly uncomfortable. You can't empathize with her because her strong feelings make you feel uncomfortable too. You, the man, begin to withdraw emotionally and protect yourself with alienation. You can't say why, but being rational and calm has become very important to you, and you are increasingly starting to feel that your partner is "too emotional" and angry, even criticizing her.
But as a woman, your partner can sense that you are pulling back. The more you withdraw, the more upset she becomes, the more she wants to push you, trying to find a way to build an emotional connection with each other.
Thus you are firmly trapped in a cycle of mutual destruction. As a woman, the harder your partner pursues you and craves an emotional connection, the more you want to alienate her. And as a man, the more you try to control your fears by pretending to be detached, the more upset she becomes.
4
Reluctance to develop an emotional connection with a partner
You're in a relationship. Your sexual relationship started out hot and exciting. You guys have a lot of sex and both enjoy it. But over the past few years, not only have you guys been having sex a lot less frequently, but you've also started to feel like sex is something to look at.
As a man, you find yourself less interested in your partner, but you still feel sexually active. You are often attracted to other women, especially those who don't look like your partner.
You're more willing to vent your desires yourself, which is more attractive than having an emotional connection with your partner that is exactly what you need to have sex with your partner.
author:
Dr. Avrum Weiss, psychotherapist, author, and teacher, has 40 years of clinical experience helping people learn how to change their lives.
source:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fear-intimacy/202111/men-s-fears-women-in-everyday-life
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