01
Mencius said, "A gentleman has three pleasures, but a king does not have the same life as he does." 父母俱在，兄弟无故，一乐也；仰不愧于天，俯不怍于人，二乐也；得天下英才而教育之，三乐也。 ”
The greatest joy in life is that the parents are alive. Even if your parents are too old to walk, they will still call your nipple name and treat you as a bag in the palm of their hand.
When parents go, people become "orphans."
Instead of waiting for the death of parents and sighing that "the son wants to raise and does not wait", it is better to take advantage of the fact that the parents are alive and have more companionship and concern.
The two words "filial piety" are taken apart, one is "filial piety", children are unconditionally good to their parents; the other is "shun", a family together, living a smooth life.
When "filial piety" and "shun" conflict, filial piety loses its beauty.
The day before yesterday, a colleague complained to me: I really don't understand, when the parents left the money to their son, but let my daughter bear three hundred yuan a month for living expenses?
Now, my mother is sick and asks for five or six thousand yuan for medical expenses. Why?
Colleagues feel that their whole lives have been dragged down by their parents. Parents in one day, there is an extra day of "burden". Really expecting that the parents would leave sooner.
It turns out that children who have lost their "filial piety" will also be very painful.
You know, the grudges between parents and children are not something that happens every day or two. If you are not used to your parents, learn to give up, in order to return to the beauty of childhood.
02
First, discard prejudice and understand the "three views" of parents.
There are no two identical leaves in the world.
Parents don't really empathize with you. When you are young, you are firmly controlled by the pattern of your parents, and even they will "ruin" your future.
For example, if you are young, you want to work in a distant place, but your parents pull you to cultivate an orchard at home. Parents' decisions annoy you and you have to listen. A few years later, your peers have gone to other places to make a fortune, but you have been living a life of facing the loess with your back to the sky, and the resentment towards your parents is born.
What's even more disgusting is that when your parents communicate with you, there is a generation gap.
People born in different eras have different perceptions of society, and no matter how hard you try, you will feel that your parents "don't understand and are too eccentric."
Give up prejudice, no matter what your parents say, you just do what you think. Your persistence will eventually be understood by your parents. When you have difficulties, your parents will definitely help you. After all, you are their heart meat.
03
Second, give up the expectation of property and insist on relying on yourself.
Once, I had dinner with my neighbors.
Neighbors said that the year he got married, his parents forced him to separate. After that, he received only an iron pot and twenty dollars from the extended family.
Think about it, twenty dollars, in any era, is a drop in the bucket.
Even so, neighbors don't resent their parents. After all, he went to college and spent a lot of money.
Taking a step back, there are many parents who are poor all their lives and simply do not have the ability to lay the foundation for their children to start a business.
The rich man Li Ka-shing said: "The first youth is given by God; the second youth is by one's own efforts." ”
Li Ka-shing's grandfather was a talent of the Qing Dynasty, and his family was quite solid.
However, Li Ka-shing's father, Li Yunjing, was unlucky, and although he tried hard to study, he had to drop out of school because of his family's lack of luck. Li Yunjing was engaged in educational work and traveled far and wide to do business, but he also failed. As a result, the family has always been relatively poor.
Not all rich people have a good family background.
Don't worry about your parents' possessions, learn to rely on yourself. Even if you start from scratch, it doesn't matter, the suffering you have suffered will eventually become a blessing for the rest of your life.
04
Third, give up the "dispute" and take the initiative to bow your head in front of your parents.
When you have an emotional outburst, calm down for three minutes, and if not, calm down for three hours.
Every family has a difficult scripture to read. Quarrels between parents and children are inevitable.
You are in front of your parents, jumping like thunder, and you will not get any benefits, but you will appear very uncultivated. When you take the initiative to bow your head, the family is harmonious and the embodiment of filial piety.
Whether the parents are right or wrong, you just listen and don't have to refute it.
When "love" fills your heart, you will find that the people around you are all good people.
05
Fourth, discard "frequent contact" and maintain a certain distance.
I have such a colleague by my side. Every day before he left work, he would get a call from his mother. Most likely, his mother asked him what kind of food to eat, and whether he wanted to buy something extra.
The mother's nagging made the colleague very helpless.
Later, colleagues went to work in the field, and his mother rarely called, but he was very unaccustomed.
Parental love sometimes becomes a "shackle" that makes you feel suffocated. They interfere excessively with your little family and pay attention to your work situation. At any time, it will disturb you.
If your parents contact you too often, you have to learn to "say no."
Between two generations, with a sense of distance, there will be less trouble. When you get together during the New Year's Festival, you become a guest and can feel a different warmth.
06
Conclusion.
While learning to give up, we must also learn to "shoulder the responsibility" and take over the burden on the shoulders of our parents.
As the saying goes, "Old and old, little." When parents are old, they are "children", fathers are no longer as majestic as mountains, and mothers cannot ride the wind and waves like ships.
A family, feng shui turns. When you are forty or fifty years old, all the stress naturally goes to you.
"People are not as good as dogs in middle age", although the words are difficult to hear, but the truth is like this. Everyone can only bear it, there is no way to shirk it.
Actor Lin Zhiying once said: "You must be filial to your parents, because they often leave the best to us." ”
Parents are incompetent, they leave the suffering to you, which is a wealth that forces you to grow; your parents and family are rich, so that you enjoy a good education and have the capital to get rich; your parents are very unkind to you and treat you badly, but they leave the blood to you...
Children who know how to be grateful will always think of the good of their parents and never worry about the evil of their parents.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.