What is it like to have a crush on someone? Is a crush counted as a first love?

I remember when I was in high school, in 2008, I had a crush on a boy in the same class. I remember looking forward to seeing him every day, hoping to meet him when I walked, ate, and fetched water on the road, but when I really saw him, I would immediately twist my head to the side, pretending not to see him, and would not go to say hello. At that time, my heart was happy and flustered, extremely unnatural, but I looked forward to meeting him every day. During the study period, we didn't have much communication and communication, and when I found myself in love with a guy, I was really scared and didn't know how to do it.

At that time, when I was in my second year of high school, my studies were very heavy, and I didn't dare to think about anything else, but the thoughts of my crush would still be unbearable, the pressure was very high, I was nervous, insomnia, irritability and couldn't sleep. At that time, there was no computer, mobile phone, and no Internet access, so I bought a diary to record the bits and pieces of what happened every day, and when I graduated, I wrote three whole diaries. I had my own crush on my own, and he didn't even know it.

There is one thing that I remember very deeply. In the 2008 college entrance examination, the two of us were actually assigned to the same examination room, which I did not know beforehand. On the morning of the college entrance examination, I entered the examination room, I met him, he also greeted me, I pretended not to know him (because of the third grade of high school, he was a fast class, I entered the slow class, feeling inferior), but the heart panicked a batch. Pretending to enter the examination room calmly, I was very unsettled, I could not calm my mood for a long time, and when I wrote, my hands were shaking. When the results of the college entrance examination came out, my grades were very bad, and there was a big difference between my usual grades, and I was very uncomfortable, but I couldn't say anything. Later, I learned that his results did not seem to be ideal. We both re-read, and when I saw him enter my senior class teacher's class, I deliberately chose another class, far away from his class, and I was afraid that I would not be able to control my emotions. In the 2009 college entrance examination, when I went to see the examination room, I deliberately looked through the entire examination room to see if there was his name, and when I found out that there was no him, I was ecstatic. Then that year, I played normally, took the second exam, came to Jinan, as for his situation, it seems to have gone to Tai'an, I also secretly added his QQ, but have not been contacted, and will not be contacted until now.

The taste of crush is very uncomfortable, it is bitter, bitter taste, uncomfortable can only know it yourself, you can't tell others, said it, others will not understand. Just hide everything in your heart.