Today's women's newspaper emotional outpatient edition column, pouring out mailbox [email protected] Listen to your emotional confusion and experienced emotional experts to take the pulse for you
Talk /Li He Finishing/Zhang Qingqing
Because of the matter of naming the child, my husband and I got into trouble to the point of divorce, do you think this is ridiculous?
My husband and I are both post-90s, and we met online. Because we both love to play an online game, we are still teammates in the game, so it is logical, from online to offline. After about half a year of dating, I got pregnant before I got married. He was the only son in the family, his parents were very happy to know that I was pregnant, and prepared a generous gift to our family, my parents saw that the raw rice was cooked into cooked rice, and they had to agree to it, the only requirement was that their family should prepare the marriage room.
We lived together during the time of pregnancy and childbirth, he is an electrical promoter, his income is unstable, his income is more when the business is good, and it is more than 3,000 points when it is not good.
In the past, when we were in love, we met once a week, and I thought others were quite cheerful and humorous. After living together, I found that he had a lot of problems, the biggest problem was greed.
At least three days a week, I don't come home more than two in the morning, and I don't know how to accompany me on my days off, and I either sleep or play games at home. A little bit of a month's salary is still driving to work.
Say yes, their family is ready to get married, but the first phase of buying a house is 350,000 yuan, and their family only paid 100,000, and the rest of the balance is all my savings and the support of my mother's family.
At the end of 2019, I gave birth to a baby, a son. From pregnancy to confinement, it was my parents who took care of me, even when he was discharged from the hospital.
When I registered the name of the newborn in the hospital, because he was not there, I took the initiative to name my son Xu Yue, and the Xu character in the middle was my parents' surname, also to thank my parents.
When his son was full moon, when he went to the hospital to get the birth certificate of the newborn, he was very dissatisfied after knowing the name I gave my son, and he wanted to name the child according to their family's family tree, that is, the second word in the child's name should be the word in the genealogical ranking.
That word is very unpleasant, even a little "earthy". I said that times are different now, and there is no need to name names according to the family tree. He said that this is the rule of their family, named according to the family tree is a manifestation of people who do not forget the original, know the system, and divide the elder and young, and the boys in the family are named according to the family tree, so his son is no exception.
I thought that I was also the only daughter of the family, that I was married and had children, and that my parents had almost devoted all their money and effort to me. Now that the children are born to me and are all given his surname, don't I have the right to name the children? Moreover, it is not good for a child to have a former name as soon as he is born, and I insist on not agreeing to change the child's name. Unexpectedly, he said to me that if he didn't change his name, he wouldn't recognize the child, and he wouldn't care about the child, we divorced, and he and I couldn't get by.
I was shocked to hear this, when I was still in confinement, and I was so angry with him that I cried. And he did not back down, that is, he insisted on reform, and constantly made cruel remarks, and said in public in front of his parents for this matter: If he does not change his name, he will not recognize his son and will divorce him.
I am really cold, thinking that because of such a thing can be casually said divorce, I don't know how many contradictions there will be in the future, countless times I want to divorce, but the child is only 4 months, and I really can't bear it, I really don't know if falling in love with him is a mistake in my life.
What does he behave like an adult?
Radio host, emotion expert: Tranquility
Judging from your description, you are related to each other because of online games, you do not know each other at all, and you have never been careful about the future, so it is natural to get pregnant unmarried and then marry. When the man's parents learn that you are pregnant and cry generously, is it true that their hope for their son's marriage is just a succession? And your parents never seem to have conducted a proper examination of the son-in-law, only proposing that the so-called husband is responsible for the marriage room, is it possible to form a family with a marriage room?
What's more, just such a little request, the other party can not do it. Coupled with the fact that after marriage, an electrical appliance promoter, at least three days a week, two or three o'clock to go home, Saturday and Sunday rest days do not accompany you, that week when you can love each other there are only two days left, and on these two days he would rather play games, rather than sleep. Is this what a post-90s couple should look like in the new era? In this way, what direction your heart will be toward this marriage is actually very clear in your heart.
Pregnant, he does not accompany, give birth to a child, he does not accompany, the child is born, he comes, comes with a full stomach of resentment, all because you did not consult with him to give the child a name. It was clear that he cared about the identity of the father of the child. Just this care, how does it seem that you care more about the fact that you have a son, a son who can pass on the generations? And if he doesn't take his name in the order on his family tree, he will get a divorce? You and your children don't care?
After 90, 90 years of 30 and standing, even after 95, it is 25 years old, from your description, what point of his behavior is like an adult? Obviously, he is still a playful legal illiterate. I never realized what kind of responsibilities I should have as a husband, nor did I have emotional communication with the pillow person, and I never gave you the care and care you deserved during your pregnancy and childbirth.
You have the fact of marriage, you have children with him, no matter how much he threatens to divorce you and the children, you can take legal avenues to make him aware of his responsibilities.
It's just, poor child. If one day, human beings must go through the cold window of hard reading, but also complete the defense test to become parents.
Edit: XiaoQing
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