Love is different from marriage, love only requires couples to like each other, while marriage is much more complicated, it is not only the union of two families, but also the need for husband and wife to assume the responsibility of life.
Regarding love, the French writer Rousseau once said this in his book Emile:
A person's marriage can determine the fate of a person's life, so it must be considered with sufficient time.
The enlightenment brought to us by this sentence is that we need to be cautious in choosing marriage, and it is difficult to have a happy marriage only by relying on temporary mutual pleasure.
But some people do not understand this truth, they only love first, think that as long as they love each other, they can break the barriers of age and distance, and harvest a happy marriage.
Some people say that the best state of love is to grow up with your lover, but when your lover really matures, his love for you is likely to change. In love, childish love words and commitments are difficult to become the guarantee of marital happiness.
The 36-year-old An Jiaojiao (pseudonym), who is 8 months pregnant, should be recuperating at home, but she is full of sadness at this time.
An Jiaojiao said that her husband Fu Xu (pseudonym), who works in a different place, did not ask her questions and did not want to go home, and only returned twice in the past six months during the May Day holiday and when her son was ill, but soon after returning, she left in a hurry.
When An Jiaojiao called Fu Xu again, she found that her phone had been blocked by her husband, most of the pregnant women were sensitive and suspicious, and the indifference of her husband made An Jiaojiao uneasy, and she did not understand why her originally considerate husband would have a big change in attitude.
In order to find out the truth, in May 2021, Accompanied by relatives, An Jiaojiao rushed from Xinhua County, Loudi to the rental house where her husband lived in Leiyang, but the scene in the room made An Jiaojiao collapse.
She saw that her husband's room was full of all kinds of feminine items, and even women's intimate clothing, and all indications were that her husband had been living with another woman for a long time.
In her husband's rental room, An Jiaojiao also saw dog food and other pet supplies, and she could not hide her emotions, saying: He (Fu Xu) bathed, blew, and walked with his pet, and he was not so attentive to his son.
An Jiaojiao believes that the husband is better to the lover's dog than to his own son, and it is obvious that the feelings between the husband and the lover are already very deep.
She took out her husband's love letter to her lover, which read:
I will be with you, spend the rest of my life with you, break through all obstacles, and hold your hand no matter how hard it is.
The love letters written by her husband to others completely broke down an Jiaojiao, and she said that he (Fu Xu) had no remorse for me before, and now he has no remorse for others.
Not long ago, An Jiaojiao's relatives sent her a video of Fu Xu having dinner with colleagues, who believed that Fu Xu's cohabitation object was his colleague Lu Qianqian (pseudonym).
An Jiaojiao couldn't sit still, and she decided to go to her husband for an explanation. Who is Lu Qianqian? How would Fu Xu explain his actions?
When Lu Qianqian came to her husband's rental house again, it had already been cleaned, but there were still some feminine supplies, but her husband was not in the rental house, where would she be?
In desperation, An Jiaojiao could only find her husband's work unit, after inquiring, she learned that her husband and Lu Qianqian's dormitory were on the same floor, and they were not far away, but Lü Qianqian was on a business trip in other places at this time, and her husband had returned to her hometown.
An Jiaojiao took out a video to ask her husband's colleagues if Fu Xu and Lu Qianqian had ambiguous behavior? Colleagues said they looked normal, but when they looked back, they looked unusual, but he couldn't be sure.
Looking back on her 4-year marriage with Fu Xu, An Jiaojiao felt that it was like a dream...
In 2017, An Jiaojiao and Fu Xu met when they were learning to swim, at that time, An Jiaojiao was 32 years old, Fu Xu was only 25 years old, and at the end of swimming class, An Jiaojiao would be like a big sister, inviting the whole class to dinner.
Fu Xu is the only boy in the swimming class, he is embarrassed to let An Jiaojiao invite guests, the two come and go, they have feelings for each other.
Fu Xu's family is well-off, An Jiaojiao's family is ordinary, and there is a 7-year age difference between the two, so after the two of them come together, they are not favored by their respective families.
In order to be able to be with An Jiaojiao, Fu Xu even broke off relations with his parents and lived with An Jiaojiao in a small inn.
When An Jiaojiao told Xu that she was old and wanted to get married, Fu Xuyi received a marriage license with her behind her back.
This makes An Jiaojiao feel that Fu Xu is a very responsible man, the two have been married for 4 years, have a 3-year-old son, and now An Jiaojiao is 8 months pregnant, she does not dare to think, the original husband has no remorse for his own righteousness, at this time it has become a righteousness to others.
In Fu Xu's home, An Jiaojiao finally found a husband, Fu Xu did not show greetings and concern for his wife, he admitted his mistake of betraying the marriage, but still felt that his marriage with his wife would not go to the situation of breaking up.
An Jiaojiao said that because I was pregnant, Fu Xu could not mention divorce, so he wanted me to take the initiative to mention, he had said before that our feelings could not go back, let me let him go, but now it is as if I hurt him.
In this regard, Fu Xu is unwilling to make any more response, after a while, Fu Xu's father returned home, he said that he was firmly opposed to his son marrying An Jiaojiao before, because it is unreasonable, empathetic thinking, a young boy in love with a big sister, will definitely encounter resistance, he believes that people's bodies will change, the age gap is larger couples, marriage will inevitably have problems.
But when Fu Xu and An Jiaojiao had a son, Fu Xu's father accepted An Jiaojiao, saying that this was a process of "from resolute refusal, to agreement, to wholeheartedness".
Fu Xu's father believes that the marriage problem between his son and An Jiaojiao is mainly due to economic pressure, because An Jiaojiao's desire to control is too strong, so that his son cannot bear this pressure, so he makes the mistake of betraying the marriage.
At this point, Fu Xu's father said that if Fu Xu's two young families could continue, he was willing to give some help to the lives of the two, and he would not interfere too much as to what choice his son and daughter-in-law would eventually make.
Although An Jiaojiao is already deeply disappointed by her husband's behavior, she is currently pregnant and cannot be separated from her husband, she only wants to wait for the birth of the child, and then make plans for future life, and she cannot bear to let the child grow up in a single-parent family.
At this point, the marriage story of An Jiaojiao and Fu Xu has come to an end for the time being.
The love between An Jiaojiao and Fu Xu began with Fu Xu's wholehearted love, regardless of his body, he ignored the opposition of his family and the age difference of the woman who was 7 years older than himself, and resolutely chose to marry An Jiaojiao.
However, the marriage crisis between the two also stems from Fu Xu's betrayal of the marriage and his disregard for others.
Regarding the love between husband and wife, the British writer Shakespeare once said in the book "Hamlet":
Having two kinds of love is tantamount to betrayal in one's own chest.
An Jiaojiao could not tolerate her husband's betrayal of the marriage, but her mistake was that she was too hasty at the beginning of the marriage without careful consideration.
From the marriage story of Fu Xu and An Jiaojiao, we can get at least three enlightenments:
First, marriage is a lifelong event for a person and needs to be treated with caution.
An Jiaojiao is 7 years older than Fu Xu, before the two married, Fu Xu said to An Jiaojiao in love that age is not a problem, he will definitely be good to An Jiaojiao in the future, and he even hesitates to cut off relations with his parents for An Jiaojiao.
In Anjiaojiao's view, this is an expression of affection, but calmly looking at it, Fu Xu's various practices seem a little naïve, just as AnJiaojiao's father said, a person who is willing to break off relations with his parents for love is worth entrusting for life?
But An Jiaojiao, who was deeply in love, did not carefully consider her marriage, so that she eventually encountered betrayal.
Second, in marriage, there is an obligation to make the partner feel secure.
An Jiaojiao is 7 years older than Fu Xu, and in this marriage, she is insecure, so she will show "strong control" and firmly grasp most of her husband's salary in her own hands.
She thought that by doing this, she would be able to tie her husband's heart, but she did not expect that her husband chose to betray the marriage under pressure.
In my opinion, betraying marriage is a wrong act, there should be no excuse, if Fu Xu can give his wife more love, so that her wife feels safe in married life, then the wife will not control the money too strictly.
Third, only love can not support marriage, it needs a sense of responsibility.
Regarding marriage, the author Tang Prayer once said this sentence in the book "Marriage Psychology":
Before marriage is only love, after marriage is love plus obligation.
An Jiaojiao and Fu Xu have been married for 4 years, and she has watched her husband grow from a 25-year-old boy to a 29-year-old man, and she has also paid her best youth for it.
But in the face of a 36-year-old wife, the 29-year-old husband chose to betray the marriage, which brings us the enlightenment: perhaps in the married life, the right is more important than love, only a responsible person can use his loyalty to defend the stability of the marriage.
Relying on love alone cannot maintain the stability of a marriage, and only those who have a sense of responsibility in their hearts will be willing to work hard to run the marriage well. Marriage is not easy, love is not easy, and do and cherish.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)