I sincerely hope that every daughter in the world can embrace a bigger and more unlimited dream.
However, in the book "Jin Zhiying Born in 1982", these wishes are just bubbles and dreams.
Kim Ji-young, a South Korean, 34, resigned as a housewife after marrying and having a daughter three years ago. Jin Zhiying, a college graduate, originally had a decent job, but he was very busy at work and often worked overtime. When I was single, it was better to say, and it was over.
After marriage, in order to take care of her husband Zheng Daixian and daughter Zheng Zhiyuan, she sacrificed herself, left her job, and returned home to become a housewife of her husband and daughter.
It's just that Jin Zhiying's sacrifice did not get too good a response, her husband often worked overtime, and he couldn't help much when he came back, and it was inevitable that Jin Zhiying would complain that he was too tired and too busy, too collapsed.
And Zheng Daixian will say gently: What's wrong with you? Didn't I come back from work to help you with things?
This sentence made Jin Zhiying even more angry, but she didn't say anything, and secretly thought in her heart: What do you want you to help me? My daughter is not your daughter, you change your diaper, hug your daughter and help me? Don't you have parenting and caregiving responsibilities?
This scene is too familiar, whether it is a Korean woman or a Chinese woman, all this seems to be a portrayal of our daily life, as if the woman is married and has a baby. Cooking is her, laundry is her, housekeeper is her, tutoring homework is her, except for the credit is all her.
It is no wonder that more and more women are afraid of marriage, afraid of babies, after all, marriage is not a child's play, and having a baby is not for fun.
When reading this book, I was particularly distressed by Jin Zhiying, and I also saw the life portrayal of many children's mothers from Jin Zhiying.
When working, you must not be like a woman, you must be able to eat hardships, stay up late, squeeze the subway, and have the willpower to roll up your sleeves and work hard;
When in love, you must be like a small woman, gentle and considerate, smiling and smiling, giving each other a dignified and virtuous, virtuous and atmospheric demeanor, so that the man is satisfied and the man's family is satisfied;
After marriage, it is necessary to have the hard work and ability of a strong woman, to have the wife's booing and warm greetings and cooking three meals a day, but also to pass on the generations, have children, give birth to daughters will be ridiculed by the mother-in-law "stomach is not contentious", to endure ridicule and dissatisfaction.
These are not only the sorrows of Jin Zhiying, but also the sorrows of all women, women are like a river, sometimes flowing slowly, sometimes roaring, but a roar is only a tear and despair in the heart, especially when no one can understand the scars.
Look at Jin Zhiying's continuous silence and repression of dissatisfaction, and finally get depression, and always possess all kinds of people, imitate their tone of voice, although shocked, but do themselves back, speak their own heart.
From Jin Zhiying, we can learn from these 4 ways to save the depressed married life:
1st, dare to say no, if you are not happy, you will be brave enough to express your feelings, and if you are not accustomed to listening, you will directly go back, do not suppress yourself, and do not accept the air bag. Sometimes tolerance does not change the facts, but only breeds the other party's unreasonable behavior;
Second, be yourself, be yourself there are two aspects, one is to listen to the voice of the heart, the other is to know what you want, and calmly accept;
3, open and honest conversation, do not hide your other half, directly talk, can reach an agreement, can not reach an agreement to disperse the gang, the three views are inconsistent, what to do feel "you should", "very reasonable" "peace of mind" accusations of people, either let the other party shut up, or let the other party how far to roll how far;
Fourth, independent personality and strong self, whether women before or after marriage, must have the basis of survival, to have the ability to make money and self-added, without the baby machine and the object of dislike.
These 4 points are a handshake with the world and insist on self, maintain a maverick attitude, only do not give up their own growth and progress, vision and thinking, relatives will not abandon you, life will not abandon you, the world will not turn their backs on you.
May we not be Jin Zhiying, but be brave us.