"Your mother raised you as a college student, and you stayed at home with your children?" This is an uncle commenting on my words. Hearing him say this, I could only smile bitterly.
Yesterday, when I was playing in the neighborhood with my children, I met an uncle and aunt who looked at my granddaughter, so I made small talk, and later, she asked me why my child's grandmother did not come to take the child. I said she was old and in poor health. Apparently, the uncle was not satisfied with this answer, so he jokingly said the opening words.
The uncle's words really irritated me, but if the child was brought with help, which woman would leave her job and go around the stove? Perhaps only anthropologists will find it great for women to have children. Once a woman has given birth to a child and becomes a full-time mother, she will inevitably bear more hardships and misunderstandings.
"Jin Zhiying born in 82" in the book Jin Zhiying, like all women, is faced with the choice of when to give birth and whether to give up work and return to the family after marriage, becoming a full-time mother, she undertakes all the housework and child-rearing matters, and does her best to take care of her children and husband every day, and is still considered by others to eat idle meals and nibble on her husband. After reading this book, people understand more about why more and more women choose not to get married.
1 Unimaginable feeling of stress
Soon after Kim Ji-young and Mr. Jung Tae-hyun got married, the birth of a child was put on the agenda by all relatives. Her mother-in-law clung to the fact that Jin Zhiying was not pregnant after marriage, and even took a mole on Jin Zhiying's face as a symbol of bad health, letting her eat Chinese medicine to condition her body.
Under the persuasion of all relatives, her husband Zheng Daixian was shaken, and told Jin Zhiying that sooner or later he would have children anyway, so it was better to take advantage of the young to have one. You see, how easy it is to say, as simple as having a child is like buying a thing.
Kim Ji-young is pregnant, but still at work. Enduring morning sickness and various physical discomforts, but also facing the ridicule of colleagues and the contempt of strangers, sitting on the subway with a stomach will be questioned. A series of pressures that others cannot understand.
After giving birth, Jin Zhiying milked the child every two hours, washed clothes, mopped the floor, coaxed the child, cooked, and the complicated chores made her have no time to rest, let alone dress herself.
2 It's really hard to get back into the job
As the children grow up, the family's various expenses have also become more, and the salary of her husband Zheng Daixian is difficult to support the family's life. Jin Zhiying is busy with her children every day and can squeeze out three hours of free time, however, she can't use these three hours to rest well, because she has to find a job to subsidize the family.
Before giving birth to children, the husbands don't need you to go to work in the future, and my words to raise you have already run to the cloud of nine clouds, and Zheng Daixian must regret that he has said that those wives do not have to go to work.
Jin Zhiying will also pay attention to a variety of suitable jobs, must be part-time, and it is difficult to see an ice cream retail stall looking for a salesman. Jin Zhiying inquired about the recruitment information, hesitated, she went back to her husband to discuss, when she decided to apply, but found that there was already a new clerk.
Jin Zhiying finally realized that as a woman with children, it is really difficult to find a good job. Compared with the prenatal workplace, the proportion of women in secondary employment who choose to work in small businesses with less than four people has doubled, and the number of people entering the manufacturing industry and becoming corporate office workers has decreased significantly, while the number of women entering the accommodation, catering and retail industries has increased, and the salary conditions are not ideal.
3 endless not to be understood
Jin Zhiying had some unbearable pain in her wrist because she was holding the child all day to do housework, so she went to the doctor, and the doctor said that she would come to the hospital regularly for physical treatment. Jin Zhiying explained that she had just given birth to a child, and various things needed to be done by herself, and it was impossible not to use her wrist.
Unexpectedly, the doctor directly said, "Before, we had to take wooden sticks to beat clothes to wash, but also burn firewood to cook clothes to disinfect, squat on the ground to sweep and drag, everything came." Now there's a washing machine for washing clothes, and a vacuum cleaner isn't it? What exactly does a woman have to work hard today? ”
It was not easy to survive until the children grew up, Jin Zhiying was busy finding part-time jobs to earn money to subsidize the family, she thought she was working very hard, and finally she could not carry all kinds of gossip, and was depressed in the doubts of others.
Kim Ji-young took the children for a walk in the park, bought a hot cup of coffee, and enjoyed a short leisurely time. But she was described by several middle-aged men as a mother worm and a woman who squandered her husband's money.
Jin Zhiying said, "I gambled my life to give birth to a child, and even gave up all my life, work, and dreams just to take the child, but I became a worm in their mouth."
In fact, many women at home full-time will face the same psychological pressure, sometimes have to give up their dreams and careers for their children, but really return to the family, will be considered to spend their husbands' money, enjoy happiness at home. Even if you want to justify it, it is useless, in the eyes of others, not going to work is idle.
4 written at the end
After reading this "Jin Zhiying born in 82", there are really too many emotions, although the equality between men and women has been shouted to rot, in fact, men and women do not have real equality. Women who are busy with their careers are called ignoring their families, and men who are busy with their families are called busy with their careers. Women give up their dreams for the sake of their children and families, and they have to complete tedious housework, which is taken for granted by everyone.
My mother-in-law once said a sentence, she said that you don't go to work now, take care of the child's father at home three meals a day, he is the family's financial resources, he does not go to work, where do you have the money to spend? Hearing such words, are you also angry?
Forget it, instead of arguing with others about who spent the money on, it is better to drink a cup of tea to quench your thirst. Since no one can understand their grievances, it is better to be better for themselves. Take time out of your busyness to put on makeup and buy things to compensate yourself.
Don't force yourself to be what others like, be sure to do what you like! I am Yunfan, share a good book!