Author: The Healing Girl
Chai Yindi in "The Grudge Girl", after the death of her husband, the control of her son is a typical PUA.
This PUA is the same as Xu Huilan in the TV series "Centimeters of Love" to Xu Qingfeng. Xu Huilan wants to master everything about Xu Qingfeng, from work to life to emotions, she never lets go.
Any girl around Xu Qingfeng, Xu Huilan would be very vigilant. Even if she liked the girl at first, after a long time, she would drive the girl away, because she was afraid that the girl would take her son.
Xu Huilan's perverted psychology made Xu Qingfeng no longer in love and helpless. As long as Xu Qingfeng began to resist, Xu Huilan would come up with countless evidence to prove her love.
This kind of mental control makes Xu Qingfeng love and hate, and he can't get any room to breathe.
Chai Yindi's control was even more terrifying, it was a near-destructive way.
When did she start controlling her son Yuxi?
Someone told her that the Third Master took Yuxi to eat flower wine. Who is the Third Master? Most of his life has been wandering in the flowers, betraying his family, and has no bottom line.
More importantly, this man had an affair with Chai Yindi. After the two fell out, the Third Master began to approach Yuxi. Obviously, this was the Third Master's way of taking revenge on Chai Yindi.
Chai Yindi was very afraid, afraid not only of the Third Master's revenge, but also of the risk of losing her son.
"She was the most angry about this, and the two of them colluded to kill her. If he came to her by himself, although he couldn't see her, it would be different. He also took revenge, dragging her son into the water. ”
What did Chai Yindi do to control Yuxi?
< h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > first: invading his private space</h1>
This was the first thing Chai Yindi did, in order to find out whether Yuxi had evidence of "betraying" her. Yuxi loves movies, fan punk and Ms. Peng Kai.
This also made Chai Yindi unhappy—"She was a little suspicious that he liked her unlike his mother." "Invading a child's private space, as if taken for granted by parents, is actually a form of disrespect and plunder.
This intrusion is suffocating. Children do not have room to breathe freely, but instead become cowardly and lose their personality.
Under Chai Yindi's discipline, Yuxi became a child who did not show up.
He liked to sit at the end of a row near the outer, near the Taiping Gate, in case the theater caught fire, so that it was easy to escape. He has always been timid, this time he is taught to people, even more hateful, not out of breath. ”
Ironically, Chai Yindi wanted to control Yuxi while at the same time disgusting his personality.
She would never have thought that Yuxi's life was deprived by her. Strong mothers have difficulty raising children with sound personalities.
Children have no room for personality development, no matter what they do, they must consider the mother's feelings, they can't fly high and go far. But the mothers never realized this, and their love became the best excuse for their PUA.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > second: marry Yuxi</h1>
Chai Yindi married Yuxi, not for his happiness, but to keep him at home. Yuxi likes the drama Fan Yanxia, who is not qualified to be a young grandmother, but can only be an aunt.
Chai Yindi made a good calculation, first tricking Yuxi into marrying him Fan Yanxia, on the premise that he would marry Miss Feng Jia first—at his age, he needed a dream to be able to restrain himself.
Let him think that if he is obedient, she is really willing to take the money to deal with it and marry Fan Yanxia for him. Miss Feng Jia is very ugly, marry an ugly wife, Yuxi will not like it, naturally it is not a threat to Chai Yindi.
How ugly is Miss Feng?
"Bowing his head under the phoenix crown, a sharp face, a slit in small eyes, a large mouth, and no under the thick lips."
Not only is he ugly in appearance, but he also sounds like a man.
"The next morning, the bride came to her room and whispered to her mother, her throat was thick and hoarse, like a man with a cold, and her voice was dumb after she had a serious illness when she was a child."
Although Yuxi minded such an ugly wife, he did not dare to express displeasure with the "Pink Yanxia" dream that Yin Di had woven for him. After Miss Feng married, the mother and son were more intimate.
The same enemy treats an outsider, often muttering on the smoke bed. This is Chai Yindi's most proud, enveloping Yuxi, and other women can't take it away, which can prove her sense of existence.
In the past, when she was in the Yao family, Yin Di was not less angry with her mother-in-law. This time, she became a mother-in-law and inflicted all the suffering she had suffered on Miss Feng.
Yin Di's evil could not be seen by even others.
"Sister-in-law Xi is really pitiful, standing at the foot of the stairs peeling lotus seeds, her hands are frostbitten and broken, and she is still soaked in cold water." Asked her why she didn't ask the maid to peel, scared to death, told me not to say, Mom was angry. ”
Not only that, Yin Di also joked about Miss Feng's name.
"Don't look at our young grandmother's rigid appearance, as soon as she sees Yuxi, she will go to the toilet."
"I'll do anything, just to please men."
In that era, women's desires were not allowed. Such a thing, the saliva of others is enough to drown people.
When Yin Di was newly married, because she got up late, everyone was mocking her debauchery. Miss Feng naturally couldn't stand it, and Yuxi always quarreled, and Yin Di was even more proud and continued to talk everywhere.
Later, Miss Feng fell ill with tuberculosis, and Yin Di completely gave up on her.
Yin Di's plan was successful, and on the surface, marrying her son was actually another method of control. What Yin Di was even more powerful was that she gave Yuxi the handmaiden Dongmei in her room.
This dongmei also looks average, five short figures, Yuxi can't see it.
See how Chai Yindi persuaded Yuxi:
"But it is to borrow her stomach to give birth to a son, the family has always been too obscure, to rush." In fact, the house is not counted, nor is she called her aunt, just called Winter Girl, we still call her Winter Plum. ”
This sentence has a deep meaning: it is to imply that Yuxi will also marry him Fan Yanxia.
Dongmei was like a rabbit, littering and littering, and then Miss Feng died, and the matter of helping Dongmei was not mentioned.
Of course, Dongmei did not dare to do anything, the children were born, and they could only survive without a place.
The relationship between Yin Di and Yu Xi, especially like a kind of couple relationship, is exclusive. Between her and Yuxi's wife, it is a love triangle, in order to get Yuxi's love, she can only let him marry a wife who does not love.
Including Yin Di not allowing Yu Xi to go to the church, she is also afraid that he will fall in love with other women. If Yuxi had someone he loved, Yin Di would feel neglected and abandoned.
In order to tie up Yuxi, it is to prevent him from getting love, and always treat his mother as the best woman. It can be said that a single mother like Yin Di has transferred the missing love from her husband to her son.
For a moment her throat choked, almost in tears, willing to let him live for her. He was part of her, he was a man. ”
This pathological psychology is chilling.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > third: let Yuxi smoke a big cigarette</h1>
Just helping YuXi marry is not enough to completely tie up Yuxi and make him addicted to smoking, and he won't worry about anything else.
"One day he will be like her, thinking about living at home and putting this lamp on the bed, and wanting it to be lit forever." She wasn't afraid anymore, he couldn't run, the kite's line was in her hand. ”
Smoking a big cigarette costs money, Yin Di firmly grasps the money in his hand, Yu Xi has a smoking addiction, and Yin Di is his medicine.
No matter how much Yin Di did, Yuxi did not dare to resist, so he would accept ugly daughters-in-law like Miss Feng and Dongmei.
Yin Di had been smoking for many years, and she knew that once this kind of thing was addicted, it was poison. It will slowly erode your will and eat away at your faith until it becomes a living dead.
But Yin Di would rather do so, at least Yuxi could sit across from her and make the room no longer empty.
Smoking a big cigarette is very expensive, and how many banknotes are burned in this small hole, but Yin Di is not afraid.
"No matter how expensive it is, or in her own hands, it is more certain, unlike going out to play is a bottomless pit." It saved the family. They had their atmosphere, full of blue smoke from the room. ”
In order to save money to buy big cigarettes, Yin Di dismissed the family's cook and used a maid to cook. To save fuel, just use a brush to draw a few strokes in the pot.
Later, Yu Xi, indeed as Yin Di wished, never went out again, but just guarded his smoke lamp all day long.
Yuxi completely became Yin Di's puppet and was at her disposal.
Yin Di's ending is sad, and Yu Xi's ending can be so good.
Yin Di's control over Yu Xi was even more terrifying than her stealing affection and keeping money. She completely regarded Yuxi as her own man, tied him up and asked her to live for herself.
She is a mother, but has completely lost the basic qualities of a mother, she is greedy, domineering, and bottomless. I'd rather destroy my son than let him fly away from me.
Yuxi had become her possession, and she ignored that the child was first and foremost a person. When we say PUA, we mean mind control over people. Yin Di's mental control over Yuxi is to smoke a big cigarette.
Big smoke is addictive and more powerful than verbal pressure and moral kidnapping. This maternal love is deformed.
Yu Xi withstood his father's lack, and TaoGuang could not go out at home. She would rather do so. She knew he was going out into society, and the result was always a loss of business. ”
"She still believes that her son must be different, that he can squat at home like the previous generation without the other side of them."
Why did Yin Di become like this?
Because she has no self, no love, years of emptiness and loneliness, she has to be compensated by her son. We always say that children who grow up in single-parent families have many flaws in their personalities. This defect is not innate to them, but is the result of the mother's over-love.
This excess suffocates the child without the mother being aware of it. She even thinks that it is a greatness for her to love her children with all her heart, but she does not know that this greatness is destroying children.
Everything Yin Di does to Yu Xi is a kind of bright and dangling PUA, and in "Centimeters of Love", what Xu Huilan does to Xu Qingfeng is a nature.
Xu Huilan cried with Xu Qingfeng over and over again about how much she had paid and sacrificed, this was the big smoke that Chai Yindi gave to Yuxi, which became the thread in her hand, so that her son could no longer fly away.
Psychologists point out that this kind of matericular maternal love coexists with love and hostility. Children are sometimes treated as dependent on to be close, and sometimes they are regarded as hateful, which is likely to lead to contradictions and confusion in their inner self-image, so that they cannot develop a stable self-identity and personality.
Later, Yuxi had completely lost his independence and basic personality. His depravity made Yin Di's tragic color thicker.
END.
Today's Topic:
Have you ever suffered from this kind of affection PUA?
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Healing Girl: Emotional author, focusing on the growth and emotions of women in the new era.
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