There is such a man, he is an associate professor at a university in Nanjing, he looks polite and gentle.
Full of poetry and books, full of economics, his temperament is also very outstanding.
However, it is this decent-looking gentleman who is secretly a dressed beast.
His name was Ma Yaohai.
One day in August 2009, five men and women were engaged in an unsightly wife swap in a hotel in Nanjing's Qinhuai district.
They were completely immersed in the joyful atmosphere, completely unaware that they were already surrounded by the police.
In the end, the sudden arrival of the police broke this smoke miasma of gathering fornication, and all such a man present, who was an associate professor at a university in Nanjing, looked polite and gentle.
In the end, the sudden arrival of the police broke this smoke miasma of gathering fornication and arrested all the people present.
Subsequently, after police interrogation, 17 people were dug up one after another.
The number of members of this "wife swapping organization" is as high as two dozen people!
The organizer was Ma Yaohai, a university professor.
Since his divorce in 2002, he has returned to being single, as if he holds a "freedom pass" without scruples.
He used his knowledge and talents to blatantly form a "wife swapping club" online.
You can't imagine that a university associate professor who teaches and educates people during the day will change his face at night and become the "godfather" of sexual promiscuity.
Afterwards, Ma Yaohai was sentenced to 3 years and 6 months in prison, but he was very unconvinced.
He took out the so-called theory of sexual liberation in the West and shouted loudly: open husband and wife relationships are personal freedom, and unaccustomedness does not mean that it is a crime!
In his cognition, changing wives is always much more noble than sneaking in and having an affair, because it is more "dignified"!
He also gave full play to the strengths of university professors, wrapped the dirty behavior of "wife swapping" into a tall package, compared the bland and tasteless married life to boiled water, compared "wife swapping" to "fine wine", and directly held the paper of "changing wives without guilt" and actively promoted his own ideas.
As everyone knows, this seems to be "reasonable", but in fact it is a strong word.
If spouses can be exchanged at will, what is the point of marriage?
If man is not bound by morality, how is it different from animals?
This scumbag in human skin, who claims to be free, is actually just a reason to use it as a reason for sexual promiscuity.
Wife swapping, is it open?
Or is it a sinking of human nature?
I have seen a movie "Ice Storm" shot by director Ang Lee.
In the film, the male protagonist Ben, who is a representative of the American middle class, and the female protagonist Elena are already a pair of "old husbands and wives". However, faced with a boring married life, Ben is the first to surrender, and he cheats on the neighbor's wife, Jenny.
One stormy night, Ben and Elena attend a "wife swapping party".
The "wife swap" method is also very interesting and exciting: men put car keys together, women randomly draw lots, and whoever draws the keys can go back to spend the night with whomever they want.
Elena, unable to bear Ben's betrayal, took revenge and chose to walk with the others...
The film is full of irony, Ben warns the child that when the body is a temple of gods and cannot be manipulated by desires to violate the will, in fact, he himself has already derailed physically.
It is said that the background of this film is that under the American sexual liberation movement, people in the torrent of the times, spiritual emptiness and emotional indifference, and the relationship between family members has also dropped to a freezing point.
This "wife-changing party" is the refraction of people's search for physical stimulation, the so-called "open relationship", but it is caused by the collapse of faith and the extreme emptiness of the heart.
Although at the end of the film, two people who betrayed their marriages, after experiencing an "ice storm", still understand the preciousness of their families, and finally kept this shaky marriage, seemingly with a happy ending. In reality, however, "open relationships" are nothing more than a blasphemy against marriage.
You know, the reason why marriage is sacred is that it is destined to be a "besieged city".
Its essence is private and exclusive, it is closed, and it must not be "open".
It is a solid fortress of love built by the two husband and wife as bricks, and the husband and wife work together.
Despite man's desires, there are no boundaries. But the city of marriage has drawn a clear line for our desires, allowing us to support each other within the scope of the circle and work together to grow old.
The so-called "open relationship" is like tearing a hole in the indestructible wall, and the gap will become larger and larger over time.
Therefore, the people on the outside can go in at will, and the people inside can come out at will...
Over time, this besieged city will become a city full of holes.
Such a marriage will only survive in name only, and the final outcome can only be disintegration.
Marriage without love
Please also leave the last decency
Li Yinhe, a famous sexologist, once proposed in solidarity with Ma Yaohai that the mate swapping activity is a sexual activity loved by a very small number of people, it is the rights and freedoms of citizens, and it does not hurt anyone.
And she argues that it is reasonable to maintain such an open relationship with the knowledge and consent of both spouses;
It sounded really reasonable, and I was almost convinced by her.
This statement reminds me of a story on Zhihu.
A netizen named Xiaoyu shared a piece of her "experience of being changed wives".
Five years after she married her husband, her relationship has gradually entered a period of flatness.
Xiao Yu's husband is a person who is not satisfied with the status quo, and when he feels bored and tired, he makes some "creative" proposals:
Under the premise of ensuring that there is no divorce, the other party can be allowed to go out to find a lover, or you can go out regularly to vent, participate in some sex parties, etc.
The husband even swore that, honey, I swear, even if I sleep with someone else, I love you as much as ever!
For such a ridiculous nonsense, Xiao Yu was also resolutely opposed at first.
But she couldn't stand her husband's long period of brainwashing and soft grinding.
Eventually, she compromised.
She said in the sharing that she did not know why she agreed to it at that time, perhaps she felt very tired, or perhaps she used this method as the last straw to save this tired marriage.
However, it turns out that this is not a life-saving medicine, but a fuel for destroying the marriage.
The husband, who claimed never to divorce, still failed to keep his original promise, and soon lived with other women, and transferred his property before leaving.
And Xiao Yu, who lost his marriage, suddenly realized that when her husband proposed to "change his wife", in fact, he was ready to abandon this marriage at any time, and "changing his wife" was only to allow him to find a "suitable candidate" "reasonably".
If a marriage is already weak and there is no need to continue to maintain, why can't you quit with dignity and leave each other with good memories, but take "changing wives" as the last "aphrodisiac", and after the strong stimulation, there are only 3 endless emptiness left.
"Changing wives" is nothing more than tearing off the last fig leaf of marriage, exposing disgusting ugly desires, and making all the beauty of marriage disappear.
If you really want to end a marriage, leave each other with the last decency.
As a woman, I want to remind women who approve of "changing wives".
Perhaps, you are also holding a playful and stimulating mentality, and at the instigation of your husband, you can "legally" have sex with other strange men.
Perhaps, the strange man is good-looking, in good shape, and very gentlemanly and humble, to some extent, just to make up for the "regret" that the husband can't give you.
However, this matter is extremely frightening.
If your husband really loves you, how can he put up with his wife having a ridiculous affair with another stranger?
This actually makes him identify with "his wife cheating" in disguise.
Of course, you might say that cheating is one thing, changing wives is another. The difference between the two is that there is no love.
Zhang Ailing once wrote in the "Color Ring":
"The way to the woman's heart passes through the vagina".
In fact, for women, sex and love do not have a clear boundary.
When your husband allows you to have sex with someone else, he no longer actually loves you anymore, so he sees you as an "object" that can be exchanged at will.
If your husband proposes to "change wives", in fact, subconsciously, he really wants to "change you".
I hope that every woman can polish her eyes in the marriage, maintain the confidence to withdraw at any time, do not be the person who "can be replaced at will", before the other party wants to replace you, you can take a step ahead and say goodbye to him in a dashing manner.
People were all captured.
If a marriage has long been weak and there is no need to continue to maintain, why can't you quit with dignity and leave each other with good memories, but take "wife change" as the last "aphrodisiac", and after the strong stimulation, there is only endless emptiness.