Photo/ Stills from the TV series "The First Half of My Life"
YiShu once said: "No matter what, a person's fall by reason is always not worthy of forgiveness, and the more no one loves, the more he must love himself." ”
Deeply. I liked this sentence very much, and it was once written as a motto in a diary that I liked very much. Nowadays, the older I am, the more I can appreciate the true meaning of this sentence, and the more I appreciate Yi Shu.
Yi Shu is truly young and famous, as Zhang Ailing once said: Fame should be early, and her literary path is very smooth. At the age of fourteen, she submitted to West Point magazine, and at the age of seventeen, she published her first collection of short stories, Sweet Whispers.
As "The Golden Years" and "The Story of the Rose" were adapted into films, her name was increasingly mentioned.
However, although Yishu is known as the "Emotional Master", her own feelings are not smooth. In her first marriage, she chased after a talented poor painter and became pregnant without marriage. Such a vigorous, windy and snowy love, but still after marriage, because of "money" and fell apart.
Yi Shu's second marriage was not so glorious. When she met her second husband, Yue Hua, Yue Hua had a girlfriend, but for various reasons, Yue Hua eventually broke up with her girlfriend and married Yi Shu.
This relationship did not last long, Yue Hua proposed a divorce, despite Yi Shu's pleading, decisively let go of this relationship.
The end of the two relationships is actually inseparable from her temper and personality. Even Yi Shu's brother said: "Yi Shu has a bad temper, and men can't stand it. ”
Maybe it's because she has too many ideas about love, or maybe she herself is too imaginative. In fact, these experiences of hers have also deeply affected her own cognition and understanding of feelings.
Yi Shu, who is middle-aged, seems to have faded a lot of passion and romance, and there is no blazing heat of love, but chooses "plain", and even makes people feel that a woman like her who is very delicate in emotion is inevitably too vulgar.
But it was such an ordinary relationship and marriage that brought her great changes. She met her third husband through blind dates.
It sounds cheesy, but it's reliable. She once said: "When I was 40 years old, with a little savings, a considerate husband, obedient children, that was success." ”
Undoubtedly, this third relationship seems to put her in such a successful situation as she thinks. It can't be said that the marriage was complete, at least, she found her own real life.
Rather than walking and watching, I believe that Yishu actually has a rough sense of contours about his life and a general direction for his feelings.
Like the heroines in many of her works, they often become transparent after experiencing some things.
From her personal experience, we will have some sense of emotion, and from some of her popular works, we can always find something worth learning.
For example, after watching the film and television drama "The First Half of My Life" and reading her work "The First Half of My Life", I suddenly understood that 40-year-old women, don't do these three things, often have a better life.
01 Don't rely on others
In "The First Half of My Life", the contrast between the role of Luo Zijun is very large, which is very impressive. In the play, she is a happy woman who has been a full-time wife since graduating from college, a husband with a successful career, a well-behaved and lovely son, and she has nothing else to do every day except buy and buy.
After seeing her life, looking at her inexperienced appearance, it seems that "relying on others" is a good experience, almost like a winner in life.
However, even the man who loved you again in the first place will one day empathize with the other. Her husband, Chen Junsheng, cheated on her, not a young and beautiful little girl, but a strong woman in the workplace.
This one operation makes us all see clearly. In most men's worlds, women who are dependent on others will not always be liked, even if the woman is beautiful and tasteful.
After the divorce of Luo Zijun, all kinds of difficulties are in front of him. At that time, when she reached middle age, she deeply experienced the consequences of relying on others. Years of full-time life have long since made her lose her survival skills.
Of course, she has friends such as Tang Jing and He Han "plug-ins", so for a period of time, she still relies on her own efforts and the help of others to counterattack.
However, in real life, who can be so lucky? Such a middle-aged woman who does not know anything and does not have any survival skills, it is not easy to successfully counterattack, but in the end, most of them are reduced to ordinary middle-aged women who complain and often complain, and are struggling to survive.
How can such a woman talk about a good life? Therefore, if people want to have a good life in middle age, they should not become parasites early in their youth, rely on others, lose the ability to live, and make money. Preparing for the rain will always make yourself better at the critical moment.
02 Don't interfere with other people's feelings
In "The First Half of My Life", there is also a very unpleasant female character, Ling Ling. She was a third party involved in the marriage between Luo Zijun and Chen Junsheng, a middle-aged woman like her, divorced, with a little boy. To be honest, it is difficult to find a man like Chen Junsheng.
But she just has the ability to let Chen Junsheng choose her between Luo Zijun and her, and is willing to help her raise a child. Undoubtedly, she is intelligent and has the means.
But is her life good? In fact, it is not good in my opinion. First of all, she interferes in the feelings of others, which is not a moral thing in itself, and will be targeted and looked down upon wherever she goes, such as Tang Jing's attitude towards her.
Her career has also been affected by some fluctuations, and her children have also been affected by such a family. After she married Chen Junsheng, what she did was selfish and selfish, and Chen Junsheng regretted his original decision.
When Chen Junsheng's attitude toward Luo Zijun changed later, I understood that even if Ling Ling made a mistake later, Chen Junsheng chose to forgive, but the second half of Ling Ling's life must not have been so good. Her relationship with Chen Junsheng will not be smooth.
Therefore, when people reach middle age, women want a good life, do not easily interfere with the feelings of others, otherwise, one day, they will eat their own evil consequences.
03 Don't always look back
The character I admire most in "The First Half of My Life" is Tang Jing. In her, I see women in middle age, don't always look back.
Her best girlfriend, Luo Zijun, and her favorite man, He Han, have secret feelings for each other. This is such a great harm to a woman, I am afraid that only those who have experienced it can understand the indescribable pain in the heart.
However, no matter how uncomfortable and helpless she was, she chose to break up. According to her character, she will put her energy into her career, and sooner or later, she will think openly and see openly. She is not a person who likes to look back, because she understands that looking back is of no use, it can only increase distress.
She once said: "All things, marriage, having children, divorce, work, travel, decoration, the hardest part is the beginning, once the first step is taken, in fact, the most difficult part of the whole process, has passed." 」 ”
A relationship that is no longer there, whether to break the mirror and reunite or repeat the same mistakes is actually a big gamble. Some things have passed in the past, and looking back is not the original taste.
Appreciate her abilities, appreciate her freedom, and appreciate her character that she doesn't look back on. Perhaps, a woman like her, the further she goes, the better her life will be, and the happier she will be.
Don't rely on others, don't destroy the feelings of others, don't always look back, people reach middle age, especially after the age of 40, don't do these three things, maybe you will live more and more freely, freely, more and more good life. May we encourage each other.
END.