Liu Ruoying responded to the courtyard turmoil, and "slept in separate beds" with her husband for 12 years, how can a sexless marriage become happier?

The topic of "Liu Ruoying's Beijing Courtyard" rushed to the hot search.

The reason is that a blogger posted a video that mentioned that "star Liu Ruoying bought a courtyard house for 40 million near the front gate of Beijing, and it is now worth hundreds of millions".

In this regard, Liu Ruoying responded on her personal platform: The video is taken at the Spring Breeze Habit Bookstore opened by my husband and friends. They rented a space of several tens of square meters by the Sanli River in Beijing to realize their little dream.

The reporter soon came to visit the bookstore, which is a bungalow made of blue bricks and gray tiles and wood, and the eaves are covered with thick snow, which is very old-fashioned.

Some people admire Liu Ruoying's husband's middle-aged entrepreneurship, and some people are curious about how the two are doing now.

After all, the two have been in the Xi of "sleeping in separate beds" after marriage, which also attracted a lot of discussion at the beginning. In the eyes of ordinary people, "husband and wife sleep in separate beds" is taboo in marriage. The two of them have come to this point, which often indicates a precursor to the breakdown of the relationship. But here is Liu Ruoying, it has become a comfortable state of life.

Whether or not you can accept sleeping in separate beds is actually related to attachment patterns. Split the bed and silently conveyed a message to your spouse: I don't want to be with you all the time. There are many reasons for this: avoiding intimacy, insomnia, relationship breakdown, and different schedules......

The reason is just a façade, and there is a common answer behind it: avoidant attachment. People who like to sleep in separate beds are mostly avoidant attachment people.

Rene Liu is.

She was raised by her grandparents and was not good at expressing intimacy due to her parents' absence for many years. Always keep a certain distance from your loved ones. In the United States, she works three jobs alone, and no matter how hard and tired she is, she doesn't complain to her family. This kind of personality leads her to pay great attention to distance.

After 10 years of marriage, she still regards solitude as fun, believing that "the so-called happiness is to be lonely in the arms of her lover".

Solitude, like a credo in life, permeated her life. It is not so much her rational choice of "separating beds", but her nature of pursuing freedom that makes her live this unique mode of marriage.

Of course, ordinary people want to achieve a happy "sleeping in separate beds", the premise is: spouses also like freedom and solitude, and only by sharing beds can they be harmonious, just like the popular saying: good feelings do not have to sleep together, but have you in their hearts, but they are each other's confidants. Then some people are distressed: "I want to have more space to be alone, how can I get my spouse to cooperate with us?"

First of all, we need to make our spouse feel that although I want to be alone, I don't want to cut the connection with you, and I still love you. When you want to be alone, you may want to make it clear to your spouse that I've been in a bad mood lately, and being alone can make me happier, and it's my way of adjusting myself, but I don't want it to make you uncomfortable. If your spouse asks questions and has a small emotional upset, we should also empathize, accept the other person, and prove with actions that "I care about you as always". In addition to rational communication, we also need to grow up, leave our comfort zone, and adapt to different attachment patterns. People have growth attributes, choose a certain person as a spouse, but also choose his mode of getting along, although the process will feel uncomfortable, but in the end we will integrate and embrace this "difference".