A middle-aged woman, holding her beloved dog, leaning on the railing by the river for a long time, she was dazed, she cried helplessly in the face of the slowly flowing river, this place was where she cried alone, and it was also the place where she often came here to pray for her children, crying tired, she turned her back against the railing, helplessly looked at the sky, prayed countless times, begging God to spare the mother and daughter who depended on each other.
Over the years, for the sake of the child, she had to endure the unfriendly eyes of some people, especially some of the sloppy women around her, and the unkind landlord, who increased her family's rent, but she had no place to move, for this job, but also for the child to be able to go to the system of treatment, the most important thing is because of the child's light life, the surrounding landlords are not willing to rent to her, but also because of these, helpless she learned to swallow her anger and be a person with her tail between her legs.
She lost her decent job for the sake of her children, because she had to take time off to take care of sick children at any time, and she chose a relatively humane company. Because she was taken care of here, she tried her best to do more and help more people in order to repay those who had helped her. It is also to be able to work here for a few more years.
She is also a person, not a god, and sometimes in order to vent her full of emotions, she sees people who want to speak their hearts, and she can't care if others are willing to listen. Because she has oversized the tests of life, again and again, countless times through different cities, different hospitals, deep in the middle of the night by the child pestered to go to the hospital, the result of buying back the medicine and not eating, you say she is not annoyed in her heart? The sick child tossed and turned countless times to grind away her original edges and corners, and she suppressed, tried her best to suppress. She is very much like The Xianglin sister-in-law in Lu Xun's pen, although she has not remarried and has not been oppressed by society, but she has endured the tests from life, the oppression from the disease, and the pressure from the economy, because she is alone in living and fighting for her children! She always remembered the words of the old mother: "Tell the child's illness to more people, the child's illness will be better", the result is that the more you say it, the more complicated it is. The more you say it, the more serious it gets. When she was sad, she could only tell her elderly mother in her hometown, and her mother sighed in addition to sighing. So she knew she could only rely on herself, so she put away her grief, regained her confidence, and continued to work hard.
Countless times the child's illness was controlled, and she was as happy as winning an Oscar, hoping to live peacefully. She tried her best to treat the child, only to ask the child to come out of the darkness, and also cheekily begged the child's father to pay for some medicine, and the threats and insults she received, she was dead hearted, because she knew from the bottom of her heart that the only person who could save the child was herself. She began to do a few jobs in order to save more money, the indisputable child refused to insist on taking medicine in a different way, and repeated relapses crushed this "Xianglin sister-in-law" mother, and she bought poisonous rats to try to free herself. Because she was already overwhelmed. Because the old mother's phone call made her feel so unwilling, she dried her tears and carried a burden that she could not put down.
For this responsibility, she gave up her own life, her marriage, for fear that her little mistake would hurt her children again, which was also the most worrying thing for her elderly parents, and the elderly could not accept the fact that their daughters who had worked hard all their lives would end up alone, and they could not accept their granddaughter's indifference and hatred for their mother. Her father, in particular, scolded her again and again, asking her to send the child back to her child's hometown and give it to her grandparents. But she knew very well in her heart that a sick child was like a plague god, and that her family's people were too late to hide, had been ill for eleven years, and did not have a single greeting of concern, and there was no half-money charity. Just as the child had nothing to do with them at all, the father of the murky child paid for his actions in prison. Therefore, she knows in her heart that the child has no place to go, and if she gives up the child, the child will really lose everything.
I don't know when, the sadness on her face replaced the smile, the tightening brow became a sign that could not be removed, and even the occasional squeezed smile was so far-fetched. I don't know when she became angry, watching the very new clothes being thrown into the trash by the child, she quietly picked them up with heartache. Always hope that when the child is well, he will continue to wear, disappointment is always replaced by hope, the more serious the child's excessive consumption is more serious, so the child's mother is numb, every day is Mu Ne to the child to take the package, no complaint to the child to return the package. The child's first loan completely angered the disappointed mother, who gave the child a slap, which was the first time the child was beaten. For this slap, the mother secretly cried many times, in addition to self-blame is more helpless.
She knew that she had made an irreparable mistake of doting on the child, in the first few years of the child's illness, always followed the child, did not take medicine and followed her, did not stay in the hospital, discharged the child who had just been admitted to the hospital for 3 days according to the child's wishes, watched other patients being forced to do electroconvulsive pain, the benevolent mother still followed the child and violated the hospital's advice, and the child's illness became more and more difficult to treat.
This time the child's illness changed from the original three-week hospitalization to six weeks, and today it has become at least 8 weeks, maybe longer. Electroshock went from the expected 6 to a maximum of 12. The 11-year condition consists of moderate depression --- severe depression--- bipolar - sperm. The doctor's words made the weary mother unable to see the sun, and this series of transformations seemed to have reached the top of the disease. How does this allow a nearly exhausted and physically exhausted mother to continue on the road ahead? She was asking the heavens, she was asking herself...
Wiping away tears, moving her legs as heavy as lead and starting work again, she had to earn hospitalization for her child, which was the top priority, the most important thing without a doubt, after crying, sad enough, putting away the mood and having to move forward hard....
This mother is me, @start all over again 0806
