Even as a boy, I myself do not want my daughter to marry a boy with a salary of only five thousand, even if this person's habits are good and healthy, but under the current socio-economic conditions, it is actually difficult to earn five thousand a month.
A few days ago, my friend was still telling me that a certain girl is too money-worshipping, just wants to find a rich man, and her private life is not very serious, as if it is very casual.
I said, this is no way, the reason why girls have such ideas can also be understood, because in today's macro environment, monthly income of five thousand is indeed more difficult to survive, women naturally have the initiative to choose a mate, in such an imbalance ratio of male and female structure, women demand more, both a helplessness and a reality.
Although when it comes to love, many people are willing to name it ideal and beautiful, but from the perspective of probability, there is no natural life to love only one person and find their beloved.
But from a personal emotional point of view, I am still willing to say that love is beautiful, and we should also believe in its beauty, and finally transform this beauty into a responsibility and burden on our shoulders.
But from a woman's point of view, this question is actually very realistic, everyone wants a good love and marriage, this is a fact, but if this beauty conflicts with reality, for a girl, her choice is actually to choose a beautiful love, or to choose a more stable material?
We often say that fish and bear's paw cannot have both, if you like a person, the other party's economic conditions are also very good, it is good, but the reality is often that either the parents are not satisfied, or they feel that the other party is still worse.
All in all, it is difficult to say in a specific context what kind of man a woman should marry.
But it is undeniable that for many girls today, especially the post-00s, the increasingly open society may be what today's classical machismo should see, we cannot say that because a girl has an open private life, we can say how this girl is.
This has always been a traditional bias.
A man often changes girlfriends, we will say that this person is powerful, but the other party is a woman, it becomes ironic and derogatory, which is obviously unfair.
Therefore, in looking at the marriage of men and women, we should try to maintain relative neutrality and look at and think about this issue from the standpoint of both parties.
A boy who does not smoke, drink, play cards or gamble can only show that the boy's habits are good, but this is not a reason why he can earn five thousand a month, or an excuse.
From my own simple point of view, what matters is not how much monthly income you earn now, but what your future growth potential is.
In other words, if a person does not smoke, drink or gamble, this is not the decisive factor in marriage, and many boys will think that I am a good and good thing.
It is certainly a good thing that a person does not smoke, drink or gamble, which deserves our recognition and encouragement, but it is not a decisive factor in marriage.
Two people love each other, the primary factor is to like each other, such as the same values, or "smell the same", in short, like each other, have a good impression of each other, which can become boyfriend and girlfriend.
Even if you choose a blind date, you must at least have the same values, the same three views, and two people can get along, so that they can live for decades in the future.
This is what I call the emotional foundation.
Two people will live together in the future, the emotional foundation is very important, which determines whether they can live in harmony after marriage, whether they can live better together, and whether they can work together to run a family well and create a harmonious family atmosphere.
But considering the later life, it is obvious that a family cannot rely only on emotional foundations, and material foundations are also very important, after all, this is related to basic survival needs.
What are the survival needs?
Today, a person enjoying food, shopping, watching movies, traveling, I think this is a relatively basic survival need, and this requires material conditions, even general material conditions, I think this is also very important.
If the other party is a girl, of course, it will only feel more important.
Why?
Because having a child after marriage, confinement at home, taking care of children, this time is very precious, how is today's workplace environment, imagine that many people have seen it, for a woman, the years after giving birth, whether in her twenties or thirties, this is a very valuable working age.
Once you miss it, when the child is a few years old and you go out to work, for women, you may have missed an important age for employment.
Therefore, women obviously attach much more importance to material conditions than men.
This may also understand why there are more and more "gold worship women" today, although I don't like this word very much, but considering the "deep heart" of this word, for male compatriots, it may be more hateful.
But from a woman's point of view, it's actually understandable.
Many women lack a sense of security, which is shaped by the current environment and social atmosphere, and even in the 21st century, there are still many people who think that it is in marriage and having children, which is a very backward concept, but there are still many people who think this way and do so.
Coupled with missed career opportunities in childbirth, and society's objectification and definition of women, why are women prone to anxiety and insecurity?
Here, I think, is why.
And a relatively stable and abundant material condition base becomes very important.
Insecurity, in addition to emotional absence, the basis of material conditions is also very important.
Therefore, considering that two people are together, in fact, the most core thing is two things, one is the emotional foundation and the other is the material foundation.
Whether it is an emotional foundation or a material foundation, it is essentially a manifestation of security, and women are relatively sensitive to security, especially the impact on career after marriage, the impact on appearance and figure, which greatly deepens women's anxiety about insecurity.
So, what's the best thing to do? The best way is to have both an emotional foundation for love and a certain material foundation.
In this way, a marriage and a family can be happy.
It doesn't matter how much a boy earns now, because he is still very young, and how much income he earns in the future is what it matters.
Women give you their best years, but when are the best times for men?
According to economic data research, men are the most attractive time, often in their forties, this time has a certain social status, has a certain experience, coupled with mature charm, at this time men's income, social status and experience can be added, provided that it is not blessed and not greasy.
But women are different, women in their forties, may give the common feeling of being the position of a housewife.
Therefore, with this in mind, the material basis is more important, and in the eyes of parents, perhaps the material base is much greater than the emotional base.
If a boy's salary is only five thousand and there is no room for improvement, I think this is very scary.
Some time ago, the report of the Yuwa Population Research Think Tank also said that the average cost of raising a child to the age of 18 in China is about 500,000, which is only 18 years old, and the average annual cost is about 27,000, and a person's income is 5,000, and the income is about 60,000 a year.
This income may barely be able to maintain material conditions in third- and fourth-tier cities, but if it is in first- and second-tier cities, this income is far from enough.
Today there is actually a so-called universal standard, such as the most basic living expenses, the necessary basic travel expenses, these are the most basic things, relatively also the necessary expenses for today's young people.
And these things are obviously not enough to be satisfied with a monthly income of five thousand.
This is not counting the cost of investing in children's education, etc., five thousand is naturally far from enough.
It is true that young people are under increasing pressure.
But no matter how much pressure is great, I still do not recommend any young people to lie flat, lying flat is a very desperate sad state, young people should still be a little more vigorous, vigorous, even if it is hardship, the monthly income should not be too low.
If two people really love each other, have a good emotional foundation, and are willing to live a hard life, but at least boys should also be self-motivated, thinking about how to get out of the hard life, or learn to have fun in the bitter, I think it can still be lived.
Happiness is not what others say, happiness is self-defined.
In today's increasingly diverse world, people's definition of happiness and the definition of happiness should not only value the worldly vision, but also define themselves, which is also very important.
The premise is that you have to be hopeful about the future.
end.
Author: Luo Sir, the workplace reference of the new youth. Concerned about the logic behind the development of things, optimistic pessimists. Follow me and grind up the knowledge to show you.