Tan Xue ‖ mother's education, like the creation of a sculptor

□ Yu Zhibin

In recent times, I have become more and more worried about education, and I feel that people who have lost their mother's teaching and mother's love will fail in their lives. Facts show that the main manifestation of this failure is a lack of love and empathy.

Take war. No matter what kind of war, people will die. When they hear that war is fighting, people generally have the mood of not fighting and stopping killing... That's empathy.

But some have gone against empathy and even done things that desecrate life and the undead in war.

Imagine if a mother in the world could allow and tolerate her children to grow up to be people without empathy in the future? Would you like your children to be the kind of people who have no reverence for life? Don't care if your child becomes a cold-blooded and ruthless murderer? I think the mothers' answer must be the same, which is "Never!" ”

In ancient Chinese society, the people all knew the allusion that "if you kill for more years, the evil of the mother will eventually be inevitable". Yan Yannian's mother overheard on the road from the people's small talk that the magistrate Yan Yannian loved to use torture and killed a lot of people, and she was disgusted with her son in her heart, and after seeing him, she admonished him. Yan Yannian was self-righteous and did not listen to his mother's teachings. Mother Yan was desperate, so she refused Yan Yannian's offer and returned to her hometown to spend the rest of the year. The history of motherhood is so clear and vivid.

I thought that advocating for motherhood in the current reading of the whole people was an important thing, and doing something practical to the best of my ability should be the common work of my generation. I have recently read some ancient books of the Ming Dynasty, and although the amount is still limited, I have already gained some gains. In Tan Yuanchun's "Youxia Collection", the epitaphs written for female elders form a special feature, highlighting the content and significance of motherly teaching and maternal love.

Tan Yuanchun's Epitaph of the First Mother tells the life of his mother, Wei Ruren, who liked his sons to read in his lifetime, and did not blame him with honor, and whenever he was the next year, he put wine and labored his sons: 'This has its own definite points, and I do not need Ru Cao to have this. Tan Yuanchun repeatedly failed to try, and after returning from the provincial examination one year, he became extremely tired of the examination, and planned not to take the imperial examination from now on, so he went to his mother to pray, and after Hearing his son's plan, Wei Weiren actually said happily: "Can it be like this?" Yes and no. ”

Wei Xiaoren took a natural attitude toward the children's fame and did a good job in logistics services during the children's study and examination; when the children failed in the examination, she also prepared wine and vegetables to comfort them. For Tan Yuanchun, who had a tired psychology after repeated defeats, he used the look and words of spring wind and rain to dispel all of Tan Yuanchun's worries and worries. What a vivid story of maternal love.

Tan Yuanchun not only tells the story of female elders, but also studies and thinks, such as he said in the "Preface to the Yuechen of Lady Meng of Shouhu Mother": "To be a mother is to be a teacher, and to be a teacher is insufficient and can become her son with a mother", "a virtuous mother does not despise her son, and a virtuous son does not look forward to her mother", "The mother's day is constructed in the heart, and she is afraid to be in her heart, and she is apprehensive, and she is scrutinized in the audio-visual, and the screen asks the guests, the sound outside the curtain, and the solemnity is seen in the upper hall and the lower hall, and the son does not dare not be virtuous, and this strict mother's way is also". Tan Yuanchun can be called a pioneer in publicizing and promoting mother's teaching, and his articles of this kind do have research significance today.

In the circle of friends, some people agree with my point of view, saying that "the company of mothers and the influence of words and deeds in childhood are very important." Some people say that "this is a subject, not that 'women without talent are virtuous', and that girls going to school and reading was still a problem after the May Fourth Movement, let alone thousands of years in ancient times?" Mothers are so important, how do they get educated? What is the situation of traditional family education in China? It has been said that "the role of mothers in family education is of paramount importance." Reading in childhood is particularly effective with the help of mothers. Compiling special topics and doing research is of far-reaching significance and is very worthwhile. ”

I know that the phrase "a man with virtue is talented, and a woman without talent is a virtue" has a source, and some people regard it as an example of ancient Chinese women who had no culture and did not understand literature and ink.

However, even in the feudal era, "a woman without talent is virtuous" has been criticized by people of insight, and the "Compilation of Ancient and Modern Books, Minglun Compilation and Lady Yuandian" has a saying: "A man with virtue is a talent, and he can still speak." A woman's talentlessness is virtue, and this is a very different phrase. Taking history as evidence, he listed the deeds of talented women in history, and finally said: "From the perspective of being, then the woman's knowledge and literacy, the attainment of the scriptures, and the reputation of the time are beautiful in the future generations." ”

In fact, in some of the inscriptions I read about Shen Zhou, Cheng Minzheng, Tan Yuanchun, and others, some women were literate and literate, and they achieved their wishes and achieved virtue.

A wise man forwarded two posts to me. One of these posts is Nan Huaijin's "Message to Women", and the other is "A Mother of Boon Lai Academy Believes that the Quality of a Mother Determines a Child's Life". I would like to copy the latter post as follows:

The godson is the foundation of the rule of the world. When he was young, he relied exclusively on his mother's teaching. The father cannot always be at home, and the mother is often not ionized. If the mother is virtuous, then what she does and says is sufficient for the law. It is ripe to see and hear, and there are rules in mind. If you continue to be disciplined regularly, you will become a habit. Such as molten gold casting, if the model is good, the instrument will never be bad, so the teaching of the daughter is more important than the godson. If there is no virtuous woman, why should there be a virtuous mother? If there is no virtuous mother, why should we have virtuous children! And the goddaughter is even more important. If there is no virtuous woman, there shall be a virtuous wife and a virtuous mother.

Mother's teaching is the foundation of the rise of the wise and the peace of the world. If we don't pay attention to this, how can we get it? Therefore, the ancients said: Filial piety comes from the cold door, and the sages lie in the mother's religion.

Look at the fortunes of the country and know the fortunes of the country.

Look at a person and know his home.

Look at the virtues of a mother and know the son.

This is not contradictory to "the son does not teach, the father's fault", nor does it mean that the father has no responsibility, but that it is more effective to start by saving the mother. Because the mother (woman) is easily emotional, and the father is easily affected by the mother's emotions, only by letting the mother learn to control her emotions can a harmonious atmosphere in a home. The family is the cell of society, and only when every family is stable will the society be stable.

In the Analects, the Master also repeatedly emphasized that "he who is righteous in his own body does not do what he is ordered to do" and "he who is righteous to others must first correct himself."

As a woman, a wife, a mother, should love life, love learning, optimistic, have a clear and positive outlook on life, values and world view, pay attention to their own growth, know how to manage themselves, and constantly enrich themselves from the soul, excavate themselves, improve themselves, the future may be unique in the child's education, take the law, with love and wisdom to shape the child into a solemn image, grace and generosity, kindness, work can be done, often speak in harmony, benefit the country and the people of the "big instrument".