Human cubs procrastinate, how to do not be angry, not anxious and not angry? It is difficult for parents, and children are actually wronged

Guide

Human cubs procrastinate, how to do not be angry, not anxious and not angry? It is difficult for parents, and children are actually wronged

Procrastination can always challenge the bottom line of parents' patience.

Kindergarten is almost late, but still grinding and rubbing clothes slowly and leisurely, wearing shoes is waiting until the sky is old; even if you go to primary school, you are a perfect grinder, even if the table is cleaned up, you can also play with the pen to play with the eraser, and even play with the corner of the clothes to play with your face, that is, do not start writing homework...

The little flame in the parents' hearts was suddenly arched high, and as soon as the anger went up, they couldn't help but scold.

The child was very sad after being trained, and the parents regretted it afterwards, but there was no other way.

There's an episode in Peppa Pig that also tells the story of procrastination before bedtime, and here's what it looks like:

When it was time to sleep, Paige first ran to the mud to play, and promised to play for only a short time. Papa Pig told him it was time to wash up, and Page asked, "Can I play a little longer?"

When it was time to take a bath, the two little ones washed and began to play a water fight, and they were very happy. Mother Pig said that she was going to dry her body and brush her teeth, and Page asked, "Can I wash a little more?" ”

The sisters and brothers brushed with toothbrushes, fascinated by spit bubbles, you take a look at me. Mother Pig looked at the hurry to urge her to go to bed, and Page said, "I think I have to brush my teeth a little longer." ”

An hour passed, and Page and George finally went to bed. At this time, Page took out a bunch of picture books and told Pig Daddy and Mother Pig that he wanted to hear the story.

In the face of Page's delay, the practice of pig father and mother pig is very worth learning, so that it is not angry or impatient.

How does Daddy Pig Do Mommy Pig do it?

Contents

With a little more patience, the child's world is simple

Inform the process plan and cooperate with strong execution

Set a limit in advance to allow your child time to buffer

Cleverly divert attention

Value your child's feelings

Strive to lead by example

One

With a little more patience, the child's world is simple

Many parents and parents encounter children in real life who delay playing again and again, and sometimes the patience value cannot be sustained, and the firepower value increases and rises. If you don't get it right, it will give the child a complete childhood.

However, seeing the practice of pig father and pig mother, I suddenly realized that in fact, as adults, we can give children more patience.

When Page said that she still wanted to play in the mud pond, Pig Daddy Pig Mom was smiling and communicating with the babies.

When Page and George want to continue the water fight, Pig Daddy and Pig Mom still laugh and communicate.

Seeing the end, discovering the whole process, whether it's playing bubbles behind them or reading a story, they are smiling and patient.

In fact, the child's world is very simple.

They are all slowly transitioning from the "egocentrism" of the beginning to understanding the ideas of others and understanding this society.

"Egocentrism" is a concept proposed by the famous psychologist Piaget. In both the 0-2-year-old and 2-7-year-old stages, infants and young children show a tendency to be self-centered.

Before the age of two, the baby's cognition of the outside world stays in the perception of his own body and movements, which is unconscious self-centered; the self-centeredness of 2-7-year-old children is manifested in the fact that he only knows things from his own experience and perspective, and does not pay much attention to the opinions of others.

And in ethics, "self-centeredness" is very close to ethical egoism and hedonism.

Therefore, a child is a cute creature who has the ability to pay attention to his own feelings to the limits. They live in the moment and enjoy themselves in time. Adults feel like they're procrastinating, but they may be engrossed in something that feels happy.

We should also understand the playful heart of the babies, and have more patience and smile when communicating with the babies.

Some parents may wonder: So do we just let our children play?

Careful observation, you can find that pig father pig mother does this, while being gentle, but also maintaining their own principles and plans, and with a lot of hypnotic tricks.

Two

Inform the process plan and cooperate with strong execution

Although Page has been playing on the way, Pig Daddy Pig Mother has a very clear concept of time in his heart - the process arrangement and time allocation before going to bed, playing - bathing - brushing teeth - going to bed, and when the time comes, it will be urged and reminded.

Therefore, as parents, we must first have the concept of time. Because even if children know the flow and plan of things, it is difficult for them to assign to each specific matter, and they need parents' reminders and help.

For example, in kindergartens, the teacher is the most aware of the daily process and will strictly follow the flow chart to carry out activities, so that the children will also know what to expect.

And, treating Page "Can I play a little longer?" "The request, pig father pig mother's execution is very strong, will refuse unreasonable requests."

But after rejecting children in real life, children often do not cooperate, and we need to cooperate with some "urging tips" to use together.

Three

Set a limit in advance to allow your child time to buffer

If the child is having a lot of fun and is suddenly told that the time is up and it is difficult for the child to stop. It's like watching half of an episode of a TV series and being asked to stop suddenly, and it's hard for adults to do it.

Therefore, we need to leave the child with buffer time, set a limit in advance, and let the child be mentally prepared.

The time flow can be set in advance.

For example, Papa Pig agrees to let Page go out and play, but at the same time tells Page, "Play until I tell you to come in and take a bath." "Tell Paige in advance that she's about to go into the process of getting ready for bed, and that the next thing to do is take a shower.

When collecting toys in kindergarten, children will also be told in advance that "there are still five minutes" and "toys are about to be collected, please be prepared!" ”

But sometimes, children don't have a definite concept of "five minutes", and we can use some props to visualize or concretize time.

Hourglass – When all the sand is leaking, we're going to wash up.

Clock – When the long needle knows 3, the time is up.

Music – When the song is finished, the toys are ready.

Setting the limit in advance is to set the time node in advance on the child's timeline and frame the boundary, so that when it comes to the next link, the child is more receptive.

Parents can also set limits on behavior to reduce their children's grinding behavior.

When Paige took out a lot of picture books before going to bed and wanted to listen to stories. If we directly refuse, the child is unwilling, and more time may be wasted.

Mother Pig said, "Then we can only read you a bedtime story, which one do you want to hear?" “

A short sentence:

Read a bedtime story – don't tell it endlessly and leave your child with a book buffer time;

Which one you want to hear - guide your child directly into the process of choosing a storybook to prevent bargaining.

Moreover, this sentence is really versatile and applies to many situations:

"Then we can only watch one episode of the cartoon, which episode do you want to watch?"

"Then we can only play one more game and it will end, which game do you choose?"

Try using this formula to communicate with your child and use it.

Four

Cleverly divert attention

When the child is very playful, or procrastinating, immersed in the world of procrastination. Take advantage of some interesting things to subtly divert your attention.

For example, when Page brushed her teeth and wanted to continue playing the game of swallowing bubbles, her mother knew that Page liked to listen to stories, so she said, "Go to bed, Daddy will tell you bedtime stories." ”

So Page was immediately attracted and ready to go to bed.

However, although it is a diversion, the things that are transferred are also part of our planning process, rather than adding other things to interest the child.

For example, at home, in order to let the children go out quickly, you can attract them to put their favorite songs or stories in the car; in the kindergarten, in order to let the children quickly collect toys, you can introduce them to the games to be played in the next class.

Let the child be full of expectations for the next thing, and reduce the current grinding time.

Five

Value your child's feelings

Pig Daddy Pig Mom still has a little bit of a good job, but it's also easy to overlook.

When Page was called out to take a shower, a playful Page shared loudly: "Mom and Dad, we have found one of the largest mud pits in the world!" ”

What would you do if you wanted your child to take a shower at this time, but they were talking to you about the mud pit?

"Just know it's time to play, it's time to take a shower."

Or "Hurry up and take a shower, it's too late." ”

However, the mother pig responded: "I see the mud pit!" Fast! Come in and take a shower. ”

Mother Pig's one word helps Page move into the next step, but children who share in real life may have more to say to their parents. Parents want to respond to their children but are worried about being taken away by their children and continue to delay.

We can combine distractions to bring things that your child likes into the next process, and we can try something like this:

"I see the mud pit!" Can you tell me how you found this mud pit? Come in, we said as we took a shower. ”

In fact, if we are urging the child, the child has been procrastinating, immersed in their own world, as a parent must be very anxious; then if the child is happy to play in it, and when sharing with us, adults only care about urging, then the child's heart will inevitably be low and unwilling to cooperate.

Therefore, while urging the child, do not forget the child's feelings and give the child a response.

This little bit of detail and response can bring us closer to the child.

Six

Strive to lead by example

Finally, again, the old saying goes, parents are role models for their children.

Adults can also grind foreign workers, and often grind foreign workers, refusing to delay is not an easy task.

Then it is even more difficult for children.

We should be strict with ourselves before continuing to help and guide our children.

Otherwise, it is difficult to effectively "urge" the child.