Today's video content is very dry, if you feel that you are always unhappy in love, often quarrel with each other, then today's 4 Daigo empowerment suggestions, you must read it well, especially the last one, understand thoroughly, you can master the secret of maintaining a long-term relationship!
On the issue of quarrelling, I believe that most people are very headache point, noisy, hurt feelings, not noisy, they can't swallow this breath, hold it for a long time, and it is easy to hurt internally.
Here I teach you a trick, that is, do not move to engage in critical love, but objectively describe a certain behavior of his, clearly tell him this behavior, let yourself be sad, unhappy, and finally put forward your own specific needs, that is, what you hope the other party can do in the future.
For example, if you want him to come back early from work to accompany you, then you should not argue with him and say, "Do you not love me?" Is it that outsiders have come back so late? This kind of words, but to tell him about his feelings, such as: "Every time you go home so late, I am very disappointed, next time can you come back early to accompany me?" ”
Remember, a good quarrel is not always around the emotions, but to run to "solve the problem", especially when the man makes a mistake or does something that makes you unhappy, what you have to do is to "solve the problem with the man", so that each other can "reach more consensus" for each incoming contradiction, rather than asking him to coax you at this time, only to coax you.
That is, you have a lot of things, such as emotional value, money-making value, personal excellence, etc., but you do not use this to blackmail others, and you take others for granted and demand.
In fact, love is like saving, the more you deposit, the richer your love assets. Therefore, the management of long-term feelings is that two people store emotions together.
Just like two people deposit money in a card and work together to save money, the money will be more and more, and the relationship will become more and more stable. But if only one party saves money and the other party doesn't save money and only spends money, the relationship can easily collapse.
It is the same in the relationship, the small work of retracting and letting go can support the tolerance of men, he saves money into it, you can occasionally spend a little, but if you are often sensitive and willful, screwing and tempting, men have been saving money, and you have been spending money for a long time, not saving money, that time is long, the other party will naturally not have the motivation to continue to save money, and there will be no rich love to feedback to you.
In the process of consultation for such a long time, I have found that girls who are not going well in their relationships often have one common feature:
At the beginning, pretending to be patient, setting up a "sympathetic" Virgin for yourself, and then in love, without knowing how to guide, you began to complain that the other party did not meet the perfect ideal boyfriend in your heart, and did not follow your own script.
In fact, talking about love is like planting melons and beans to get beans, and in the early stage of love, you deliberately use "excessive understanding and virtuousness" to attract men, then most of the men you attract are machismo and extremely selfish men.
The girls who are pampered by men are often the ones who have their own set of standards in their relationships, set up rules for him to follow at the beginning, know what is your bottom line and what is the range you can accept, and then stick to it, rather than pandering to it at the beginning.
At the same time, they also know how to guide men how to love themselves, perform well to reward him with a gentle and considerate and understanding good girlfriend, if they do not meet the standards, they will directly screen, do not waste time torturing each other, pay when they should pay, stop loss when they stop loss, and have a framework and principles.
Don't take men as the source of all your energy, you will be anxious when you fall in love, and then give your joys and sorrows to men for safekeeping.
This behavior is like a "parasite", I just suck your emotional nutrients, in case one day the man is also lost, but also lack of emotional nutrients, at this time you continue to get his emotional nutrients to nourish yourself, the end may be that the man finally can't stand to propose a breakup.
I often say that your partner should not be the only source of love and happiness. If you don't understand this intimacy, it is difficult to maintain for a long time.
At this time, someone will ask, "Then why do I want a boyfriend?" Neither love nor happiness can be demanded from him."
It's reasonable to expect pleasure and dependence from your partner, but if the happiness, security, self-esteem, or much more we need is needed and can only be achieved by your boyfriend, it becomes a big problem.
Remember, only when you are complete and loving can you have the courage to look at any problems you have, and can you take on your own life problems.
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C