The happiness of a family depends on the status of the child in the family.
The status of the child is too high, and the quarrels between husband and wife are constant
Nowadays, most of the only children in China, the status of children in the family has changed, and the whole family has become a norm in today's families.
But in the family, if the child's status is in the first place, a series of family conflicts will inevitably be derived. Among them, the most direct impact is the relationship between husband and wife.
One of my sisters, before they had children, the love of the two made us all envious and jealous, traveling around romantically, showing love and love, and has always been a "flaunt couple" in the eyes of our friends!
Since having a child, her mind has all fallen on the child, all day long to pay attention to the child's diet, sleep, nutrition, etc., has become a veritable full-time mother, and even sometimes did not say a word to her husband for a day, since the birth of the child with the husband communication is getting less and less, the husband and wife crisis gradually revealed.
With the passage of time, after the children go to school, the contradictions between husband and wife accumulate deeper and deeper, and they often quarrel because of the children's education.
Like what:
The child watched TV while eating, his eyes did not blink, and the husband saw that the child did not stop eating, so he turned off the TV and said to the child sternly: "Is it okay to finish eating and then go to watch TV?"
The child saw his father holding his mouth fiercely and crying, and his wife said: Why are you yelling at him like this? What does he know when he's young? Is there any bad habit you have to teach him softly, is he the son of the old king next door? You're going to yell like that? I didn't see my father so fierce about his son...
The husband said: Look at how many times I have told him, is it useful? See what you've made of him, and next time it's like this, you'll have to beat him up to remember it for a long time.
The wife angrily choked back: You hit, you hit him and try!
At this time, the two couples opened the mode of quarrel because of the small matter of children's education, after a fierce quarrel, both sides calmed down, and finally the problem was not solved, but the relationship between husband and wife fell to the freezing point.
And also:
Husbands usually go to work, wives take care of children at home, sometimes husbands find that the child has fallen, he will complain: I am tired and tired outside to earn money to support this family, you can't even take a child at home, I really don't know what you are doing this day.
Originally, when she had to sort out the housework every day and take care of the children, the wife felt aggrieved and was not understood and respected, and the wife's hatred for her husband was further deepened.
Another quarrel inevitably unfolded.
Little did they know, however, that everything they did with each other was the same purpose – for the healthy development of their children.
They do not know that the harmony of the relationship between husband and wife is the basis for the healthy growth of children.
They don't know that because they pay too much attention to their children and ignore the management of the husband and wife relationship, they often have endless quarrels with each other, endless contradictions, and various problems are getting more and more together.
The child was born because the two fell in love, but now because of the child, they have forgotten to love each other.
If a family puts the child above the relationship between husband and wife, various contradictions in the family will inevitably flock to it, and even if the relationship between husband and wife breaks down, the happiness of the family will be in vain.
Family education expert Lin Ruping said:
In the family relationship, the husband and wife relationship is greater than the parent-child relationship, and the husband and wife relationship of mutual respect and mutual love is the rock of the family.
Husband and wife are harmonious, and children can grow better
Since ancient times, China has said that "the elderly and the young are orderly", and only when family members "each has his own duties" will the family be happy and happy.
Just like this family I know! I was chatting at her house that day, and her kids just came home from school.
"Mom, this is the gift I bought for you!" The boy took the gift box and handed it to his mother.
"Where did you get the money?" Mom asked.
"Usually save pocket money!" The boy grinned and giggled in reply.
"Mom, I'll mop the floor, and you can sit down and rest!" The boy grabbed the mop.
The mother opened the gift box, saw a small plastic flower, her heart was very happy, and turned her head to look at the child with loving eyes, which was very gratifying.
In fact, their family is not rich, her husband does a small business, and she does housework at home. But to cultivate a proud son, the child's academic performance has always been the first in the whole grade. A few years ago, I learned European calligraphy from a calligraphy master, and now I write a good hand. The couple has been married for ten years, and they have always been affectionate and respectful of each other.
I often ask her what good ways to make children well-behaved and have good grades, and the relationship between husband and wife is as sweet as falling in love?
She said that if there is any special method, if you want to talk about the method, the husband and wife must first love and be happy, in order to provide a good environment for the child.
Yes, a family couple is the main body, and couples with children must not forget to continue to love each other!
Only in this way can the child understand that he is an ordinary member of the family, not a "little emperor", no one is special, and everything is equal. And children, because of being arranged housework and lose their temper, will take the initiative to help their parents share the task; feel the difficulty of their parents, and will cherish the opportunity to learn hard.
In the relationship between husband and wife, both parties will avoid "finding fault" with each other in parenting issues, and will not ignore the other partner because they pay too much attention to their children.
Looking at the parenting of today's famous artists, there is one thing in common, that is, the relationship between husband and wife is strong. Only a strong relationship between husband and wife will have a strong family, and children will have a good growth environment.
Therefore, no matter how much you love your children, you should not let your child's family status be higher than the status of the relationship between husband and wife.
The child's position is good, and it is beneficial to the child itself, to the relationship between husband and wife, and to the fate of the whole family. In this way, there will be husband and wife love, children are well-behaved and sensible, and harmonious scenes appear around us.
Isn't such a warm family exactly what we all seek?