It can be set as a star
Recently, there are many things around me, so I have a very deep experience, here to share with you.
I have a friend who doesn't know what to call her a love genius or what, but in short, I have the impression that she has been in love, and every relationship seems to have not lasted long enough.
I thought she was the kind of person who especially pursued the freshness and excitement of love, because after all, in this fast-paced era, love is also fast food style a lot of times, but once we talked and found that this was not the case.
She said that before she was with her lover, she felt that the other party was the best person in the world, and she had done a lot of romantic things and silly things for each other. She thought about how to spend the next life, and even after a long time, how to manage family life, how to have a happy future.
But after being together for a long time, she will feel that the other party is not the one who can have all the happiness with her in the future, she is more and more dissatisfied with the other party, the arguments and quarrels are more and more, and finally naturally even the patience to endure all this is not enough.
The frequent failure of love makes her gradually tired and afraid of love, which is only temporary warmth, not long-term companionship.
People like my friends, their love, is not actually living in reality.
A long time ago, I brushed a very popular video of Teacher Luo Xiang. In it, he quotes Dostoevsky, "Love concrete people, don't love abstract people."
This seems to be a common problem for people who have read so many books. Sound education tells everyone what is beautiful and what is ugly, and the huge literary works continue to shape the image of very perfect men and women to some extent, so that many people slowly "love" abstract concepts.
They all have an ideal template in mind, and this template is perfect. They accept the advantages in their entirety, but they cannot tolerate the shortcomings: the other party must spoil themselves unconditionally, must give priority to themselves in everything, must not have all bad habits, and must not refute their own opinions.
This situation is especially obvious in people with excellent appearance. As visual animals, we automatically assume that some good-looking people are also good in other ways, but this is completely unrealistic, and figurative people are flawed.
This is also why so many people are addicted to online dating, falling in love with a person who is different from each other, do not need to know what the other party looks like, and can even take the avatar as the other party's appearance, just need to imagine him as the most perfect love object.
It's an obsession with abstraction, and figuration is disillusionment with it all.
The more people who are addicted to abstraction, the more they will feel that they are living in the depths of the water, they will be disappointed in their parents when they do not meet the model couple, and the more they feel that the people around them are vulgar and hateful.
But love must be produced in the embodiment of the person, the real love, is to be able to tolerate the other party's shortcomings, is to know that the other party is not perfect, but still willing to be with him, is to know that he and his ideal type is completely different, but still willing to be with him.
Moreover, such people often overlook that in fact, they are not perfect, and they also have a rude and shallow side. When you feel that the other party must be a kind and innocent person, and you yourself may not have done a few good things for good people; when you feel that the other party must be talented and full of poetry, in fact, you don't have a few drops of ink in your stomach; when you feel that the other party must give priority to you in everything, you have never considered the other party.
This kind of double standard makes no sense.
Have you ever wondered why he would love you if you really met someone who was nearly perfect?
END
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