Are you in love on the head constantly want to confirm that the other party loves you, the whole body into the fear of kung fu, emotional control is very poor, the mood comes, no one can stop you, a little bit of not smooth on the emotional flood, it is easy to be affected by the outside world and others.
Others are good to you, you are not happy, you are jealous of you, you are criticized for your life is dark, you will feel that every day life is empty, you are not satisfied with the status quo, but you do not know how to change. If you meet these points, you should be short of love.
You may feel that your life is terrible, and I would like to tell you that it is not your fault, because your psychological needs in childhood, that is, security and love, are not met, and part of your self is stuck in that place, so later in life, you constantly seek compensation.
Maybe you have not felt that your family loves you very much since you were a child, that you are particularly in need of protection, or that your parents' marriage is not happy, that you do not believe in love at all, and that you may even experience childhood verbal abuse, hysterical beatings, and of course, it is possible that you have not experienced a very tragic childhood, but when you were young, you were often ignored and did not get any appreciation and affirmation.
But today I will not continue to attribute it to childhood with you, because if you stay in the previous pain and keep suggesting that you love you, it is really difficult to change this life, and you feel that the lack of love is the childhood you were, and now you are fully capable of self-healing, and all the choices are in your hands. As long as you want to choose not to be influenced by him today, I will teach you how to question yourself. What you lack is not love, it is self-awareness, because you like to base happiness and sadness on others, lack the ability to get happiness and happiness from yourself, no one is obliged to give you unconditional love and happiness forever, you need not a lot of love to fill you to save you, but to build a heart that can get happiness and the strength to support you to go on.
The following five points are very valuable ways to build a self-healing lack of love.
The first, self-acceptance, discovering your worth, and building the belief that even if you've had those negative experiences in the past, you deserve to be loved and not dwell on the past that can't be changed. Look at what you already have now, you take a magnifying glass to look at your own advantages, you may be sensitive, but there is a strong empathy that can understand others, you know how to give to others, you may be very rigorous and serious at work, your learning may not be bad, the most basic of your limbs are sound, have a very healthy body, this has been how lucky, what a good young girl. You have to think all the time, always remember, constantly emphasize your strengths, self-confidence, and accept all praise and recognition. You see that you have so many advantages, you have so many things that you are good at, and you stare at those you don't have every day, and you become more and more inferior.
Second, you are too worried about betrayal, too worried about getting hurt, so you don't trust others at all. Sometimes your happiness and worry about your male classmate actually comes from the premise that you don't trust him, so no matter what he does, it will become evidence that you don't love you professionally. I hope you try to trust someone who loves you once, even if you really encounter betrayal, it is just a life experience, no big deal.
Third, seek affection and love inwardly, rather than from others, learn to self-regulate You must first understand what is the thing you are afraid of worrying about in your heart, to tell me whether you are afraid of not getting a response from the person you love, or afraid that the other party will look down on you when they see your shortcomings. Every time there are ups and downs in your emotions, ask if you are afraid that something has appeared, at this time you don't have to rush to erupt, go to call him crazy, go to get angry with him, first remind yourself that the little demon you are afraid of in your heart has appeared again, he interferes with your judgment of reality, and then you go to recall the feeling that your boyfriend once loved you, in fact, he loves you, and you have to use this feeling of love to dilute the angle of your fear.
The fourth point, the separation of topics, to distinguish clearly what is the subject you can control, what is the subject that you cannot control, separate you from others, you can't find things that you can't stand, you must not wait for control, find your own troubles. What you can do in love is to love others, but the progress of feelings requires both parties to pay, the other party's will and behavior you can't control, then you do your part, you remember, other people's responses you have no way to influence. Don't have any expectations for others, pay is not expected to return, you just need to expect and pay attention to yourself, he will not be in a hurry to ignore you, you can not control, but you can control, do not let yourself be unhappy to study and work with peace of mind, remind yourself that this is not your subject.
Fifth, make more warm and happy friends, you have to try to connect with more people, to feel the way they love people the most, you try to learn and imitate, communicate with them. Your life is not only love, but also hobbies, careers, really find a thing you can love, just start with what you are best at, may be wearing beautiful clothes, shooting videos, writing, painting and anything, as long as you can feel happy and satisfied.
Finally, sisters, you will always remember that you have the right to make yourself happy and the ability to make yourself happy. If you feel that the world has not been good enough for you, try to create a better world.
Follow me and take you to a better version of yourself!