The content of today's video may be a bit heartfelt, but if you understand it thoroughly, it will have a great impact on your concept of love, and it may even subvert your cognition, collect it, watch it well, and you will definitely gain a lot!
It was found that many girls always have high expectations for love, and will require the other party to love themselves 100% or take care of their emotions 100%.
But is this possible? No one can pamper another person unconditionally in a relationship all the time, and we can't do it ourselves, can we?
There are no perfect people in this world, and there are no one hundred lovers, you want "love", you want your other half to be "good to you", which is a very normal need, but if you define "good" and "love" must be meticulous care, or a romantic surprise with tricks, then I can guarantee that almost no one can do it.
Maybe he can do it during your love affair, but if you ask him to do this to you 365 days a year, or even longer, how can he do it? Human nature is to pursue comfort, and no one can always suppress their own nature to please you, this is instinctive.
What is the essence of love? It's a value exchange. In the relationship, your own excellence is to bring your own resources, such as you are good-looking, high emotional intelligence, good family, etc., it is precisely because you have these values, men want to get, he will be good to you, will pursue you, this is the essence of mate selection.
And if in the relationship, you only focus on how to be good to him, how to make him better for you, then you are equivalent to using your own "pay" in exchange for the other party's resources, then he will feel that you have taken advantage of him, he deserves better.
Therefore, girls, instead of spending time and energy on "how to be good to him", it is better to spend on the improvement and maintenance of their own resources, improve their appearance, body, academic connotation, and focus on cultivating themselves, isn't it more fragrant?
And what's even more interesting is that in the end you will find that the more you love yourself, the more the man loves you, and the more you love the man, the more he loves himself.
One thing we need to understand is that the other person will love you, but he will also love his family and may even love himself more.
And don't think I'm being too realistic, because that's the way it is, and you're not the only one in his world. So in turn you should also be the same, don't talk about a relationship, just put aside life and self, a woman's high value is always self-satisfaction, in addition to love, you can still get satisfaction and pleasure in other things.
So if your love has ten points, then take out 5 points to love each other, the remaining 5 points to keep for yourself, and if one day, if the other party does not even cherish 5 points of love, then you don't have to give more, take out all the love to yourself.
This may sound selfish, but it applies to "human nature." Because men and love can always be the icing on the cake, not a life-saving straw, only by identifying this thinking can you more easily grasp love.
I have always stressed that when you are in love, you must have your own "framework", what is this framework? It's your "standard" and "bottom line" for a relationship.
For example, what kind of relationship you want, or what kind of partner, there must be a specific standard.
Maybe many girls will say, I want a man who is good to me, so what is the concretization requirement of this "good"? Is it that no matter how busy he is, he can also reserve part of the time for you every day, or is he good to you, that is, he has 10 yuan in his hand and can give you 8 yuan?
Remember, we have to love concrete people, not abstract people, and this "good" standard must be concretized in your mind, not the kind of good that a man can coax you away by saying two sweet words.
The second is the bottom line, you have to know what your bottom line in the relationship is, and then stick to it. Many girls, when men make big things that touch the bottom line, dare not get angry, but they always make a fuss about small things such as a man forgetting to say good morning and evening and not replying to the message in time.
There is no bottom line in big things, and there is humility and profaneity in small things, so how can you have deterrence in the relationship? I said that men's snubs and contempt for you must be slowly habitual by you, it seems that you have only made a small compromise, but you must know that every compromise you make is a destruction of the self-framework, after all, people are watching people cook.
So, prophetic human nature, talk about feelings, understand?
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C