"Spirited Away" wrote: "Life is like a train, there will be many stations on the road, it is difficult for someone to accompany the whole journey from beginning to end." ”
That is to say, throughout our lives, we always have to learn to walk alone, or rather, everyone has to learn to get along with themselves.
Truly intelligent people have long since withdrawn from the lively places, experienced the joy of being alone, and lived into their true selves. For example, the American writer Thoreau left the city and lived alone on the shores of Walden Lake, chopping firewood, farming, and cooking on a fire.
When the prosperity has passed, you can still sit alone in a corner, which is the best luxury.
01
Always be alone in order to keep your own nature.
There is an intriguing saying: "I used to like someone, now I like someone." ”
The people who can hurt you are often the people you love deeply. If you observe carefully, then you will understand that whoever you live with is with yourself.
Your character, money, personality, and itinerary determine who you will meet, who you will marry, and who you will become friends, relatives, and colleagues. When you try to change yourself for the sake of the other person.
Shakyamuni once told a story: a businessman married four wives, which was really enviable.
One day, the merchant was going to go out.
The first wife said that she usually accompanied enough, and she should not accompany her when she went out.
The second wife said that she did not want to marry a businessman and not to force anything.
The third wife said that the wind and food were too bitter to go.
The fourth wife said that the merchant was her master and should go out together.
At the end of the story, Shakyamuni explains that the first wife refers to the body, one day, to leave the world; the second wife is money and cannot be taken away; the third wife is a real wife, but cannot die on the same day of the same month of the same year; the fourth wife is human nature and cannot be changed and stripped away.
If you think about it, it's really like that, people die like lights go out, and everything is cleared. If you have to take anything, you can only "take yourself."
There is a saying: "In the beginning of man, nature is good." ”
Everyone was kind, only later, lost some of it. The vicious person is completely lost in himself and runs counter to his nature; the person who is not good or bad is swaying from side to side like a wall of grass; the good person is sticking to the original intention and shining like gold.
Everything is a passing cloud, feelings, interests, in fact, is something that makes people sleepy, it is important that you live seriously, to be a bystander of the world. As Roland wrote in "Return to Zero": "Never forget happiness, but also try to get rid of suffering." Those who come into their hands, gladly accept, and those who want to escape from their hands resolutely let go. ”
Don't force anything, learn to shake hands, and naturally let go, you return to the state of a person, but also find what really belongs to you.
02
Learn to be alone in order to live more bravely.
Writer Zhou Guoping once said: "Being alone is a beautiful moment and a beautiful experience in life, although it is a little lonely, there is a kind of fulfillment in loneliness." ”
You may feel the following way.
First of all, talk about your own affairs with the people around you, everyone is very sympathetic to you, but after two people turn against each other, your affairs become a "chip" for slander.
Then, talking to others about the past and the present also led to a lot of historical stories, but others knew nothing and were at a loss.
Finally, go sightseeing with others, where you want to go, where others don't want to go, involve each other, make you very unhappy.
One day, I went on a trip with my colleagues. Everyone was reluctant to climb to the top of the mountain to watch the sunset, but I was the only one who insisted. Reluctantly, my colleagues and I parted ways.
At the moment of separation, I was a little lost. When I saw the sunset in the sky, I suddenly realized how beautiful life is, and all the sense of loss is gone.
A person's solo dance will not be out of tune with people, so that it will not appear incongruous. Happiness is your own, loss is your own, and the scenery is your own.
Only by bravely "detaching from the group" will you have the courage to face everything and quit your "dependent thoughts".
The ancients said, "The Tao is different, and it is not a conspiracy." "It is better to be with others than to be with "yourself", and one can also party to the end.
03
Insist on being alone, only then can there be "unsociable" nobility.
The Book of Rites reads: "A gentleman must be cautious of his own independence." ”
No one can restrain yourself, and you can still be morally high, which means that you have surpassed many people and come to a higher level.
No one in the world can tolerate loneliness. For example, when faced with an empty, black hole house, you will have a sense of fear and hope that someone will stand by your side.
Therefore, people with real great wisdom live in seclusion in the "city", they walk in the crowd, but they come and go alone.
In Japan, there is a Zen master called "No Three". He was a farmer and didn't even have the opportunity to study. For his own wishes, he pretended to be a nobleman.
Later, people embraced The Three Zen Masters as the presiding officer, and his identity was revealed at the ceremony.
The Zen master said, "I am a lotus in the mud." ”
In the humblest land, a lotus flower can also bloom. If a person is like a lotus, the middle is straight and straight, not delicate or charming, but it can be viewed from a distance and cannot be played closely. This should be the special thing about being alone.
04
Why should people be alone? How to be alone?
The French philosopher Pascal said, "Almost all our suffering comes from our inability to be alone in our rooms." ”
To be alone is to free oneself from one's troubles, to pull oneself back from loss, to get rid of external entanglements.
People who know how to be alone are doing this: First, insist on independent thinking and put forward unique insights; second, insist on studying well, absorb the wisdom of superior people, and be able to innovate; third, enjoy loneliness and experience a different scenery of life; fourth, use experience as a stepping stone to let yourself stand on a high place; fifth, do not blindly refuse to socialize, but all follow fate.
People who know how to be alone do not have special ability, but are used to being themselves, not because they expect others, bring disappointment.
If life treats you badly, don't complain, Wan'er smiled, a thousand sorrows, and dissipated in an instant.
Dear self, tired, take a break alone.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.