Chapter 109 Kite Flying with Children (II)
(Continued from the previous part) The day after the holiday is still sunny and full of spring. I think my son was so happy to fly a kite the day before, so I hit the iron while it was hot, or take him to fly a kite, so that he could continue to feel the fun of outdoor activities. However, I did not expect that my son categorically refused, or wanted to play with toys at home. No way, the twisted melon is not sweet, I will accompany him to play at home.
But until the afternoon, he still had no intention of going out, and I pointed outside and said:
"You see how warm the weather is outside, and in a moment the sun will set. A bit cold at night and couldn't get out anymore"
"But I think it's fun to play with toys."
The son still refused.
"Otherwise, if you go out and play, I'll show you two more episodes of the cartoon when you come back."
There was really no way, I had to use the "killer skill".
It worked, and although my son was reluctant, he went out with me. But when he got outside, his son didn't seem to be too interested in what he did. I wanted to take him to fly a kite, but he said he wouldn't let it go, he let it go yesterday, and he would fly it again in a few days. Let him play football, he also said it was not interesting. I had to take him around on a balance bike and finally came to a small playground.
One of his classmates happened to be on the playground, probably because of the epidemic for a long time, the two little guys met and seemed particularly affectionate. Then we laughed and laughed along the slide, and put aside my dad with all kinds of sports goods. But after a while, the child was taken away by the parents, and the son rode his bicycle sadly to go home. There was no way but to take him home.
But I also know how to get my son to go outdoors. On the third day of the holiday, I asked a classmate who always played with my son to play together on a small playground near my house. I don't think it's too far away, as long as the children meet and play together, everywhere is heaven. Sure enough, the child was also very bored at home, and he seemed very happy to see his son. I handed them the kite, but it was directly ignored by the two little ones, and the son picked up the bag containing the toys and scattered the toys he brought, and then the two little ones were in the spring breeze, in the sun, playing with the toys together.
They played very engagedly, sometimes playing together and fighting, sometimes chasing each other, sometimes quietly discussing something. The small playground was filled with their laughter and attracted two other children, and the four of them played happily together.
It was almost lunchtime, so I told them to stop, and the child's parents came to pick him up. Who knew that the two little ones didn't want to go back, crying and making trouble. There was no way but to let them play for a while, and finally let them say goodbye with tears in their cries.
It's also funny to think about, how to call his son he can't go outdoors, but he ends up using coercive means to let him go home. The difference is whether he likes it or not, whether he has an internal drive. If he doesn't like it, even if he uses the coercive method, he will not achieve the desired effect. In the opposite case, I do nothing and can achieve very good results. This is the power of "doing nothing."
Children's thinking and ways of thinking are different from those of adults, and even adults have very different ideas from other people. Children's way of thinking is irrational and illogical, they are "right brain creatures", so if you want to let your child do something, you must think differently. Even if you can't understand your child's way of thinking, you must recognize what the goal is and don't take the way as a goal. Why is playing football outdoors and kite flying outdoor sports, playing with toys, chasing each other is not? These adults do not approve of the way, the same can achieve the goal of making children happy and healthy. Happiness is not imposed, but felt inwardly.
Looking at the kite in my hand, I feel that the child is like this kite, and the parent is like the person who flyes the kite. And the kite line is like a parent's love for the child. Many parents want to control their children, let them think and do things in their own way, so they tighten the line. So the love is too much, making the parents and children very nervous, tit-for-tat. Parents forget the purpose of control.
But it is the kites that face the wind and rain, and they will borrow power in their own way, to avoid the wind, so that they can fly higher. Children need the love of their parents, and they need their parents to help them grasp the direction and let them have a heart. But it is not because of love that they will lose themselves and live as their parents imagined. So if love is too tight, love is too tired, they may break free, they will break the line, they will fly out of nowhere. Therefore, parents must not forget the original intention, forget the goal, and do not let the kite break the line. (End)