When the post-90s are still single on the Internet, some post-00s are already married and have children in reality.
Most of them did not go through a complex ideological struggle, found pregnant and gave birth, 22-year-old sophomore Sun Bingbing, is now the mother of the 5-month-old baby girl.
The financial pressure of having a baby and raising a baby is supported by parents. This generation of young parents, from pregnancy to childbirth, is no longer a small family alone, and the intervention of elders has become the norm. Yu Xiaolu, who was born in 2000, believes that "I feel that the mother-in-law of this generation is quite distressed about her daughter-in-law, which is why I dare to get married and have children so early." ”
These post-00s young parents often rely on their parents to help buy a house and a car, and need the help of elders to take care of their children.
However, parental support cannot be all-encompassing. In the face of complicated details of life, the post-00s always have to do some things themselves. 21-year-old Zhao Yuqing, after graduating from college, lived the life of a housewife, her day began with making complementary food, after feeding, but also to train children to speak and pronounce, change diapers, clean up the housework... It wasn't until 11 p.m. that the child went to bed that he had a little time of his own.
Not only to take care of children, there are many issues for young mothers to consider, such as self-improvement, trying to make money, trying to avoid disconnection from society... This post-00s generation is not willing to be a stay-at-home mother.
Expectant mother Yu Xiaolu has a stable job as a warehouse manager, and she plans to take maternity leave during childbirth; Zhao Yuqing will do micro-business when she has time; Sun Bingbing is preparing her own Douyin self-media, which currently has 10,000 fans.
What kind of happiness and troubles do these post-00s who have entered the new stage of marriage and children have in life? Alphabet List chatted with 5 post-00s who have become mothers or "expectant mothers", and the following is their story.
(In the text, Sun Bingbing, Zhang Tongtong, Cui Shuang, Zhao Yuqing, and Yu Xiaolu are pseudonyms)
A
"Super fast and smooth delivery, from the beginning of the pain to the end of the birth only took more than an hour"
Sun Bingbing, female, 22 years old, sophomore in school, girl 5 months
My husband and I are both from Beijing, we have been together since we met in high school, and each other's parents are familiar with and recognized, and then the two parents worked together to buy us a wedding house in Beijing with full money.
Just before New Year's Day last year, I found out I was pregnant. Although it is an accidental pregnancy, but my parents are relatively kind people, can not bear to kill small lives, as for whether to raise, in my mother-in-law's original words is, "two big families, can not afford to raise a child?" ”
Last October, the child was born. Giving birth to a child does hurt, but compared to the average mother, I am still lucky, from the beginning of the pain to the birth of the baby only took more than an hour, may be my physical fitness is better, the whole process is relatively smooth.
My husband is currently starting a business in the restaurant industry and has opened two stores in Beijing. I was also very busy throughout the day, taking care of my baby and completing my college studies, I was a sophomore at a normal university in Beijing, and I was two years late to enter the university because of the delay in studying abroad.
Our wedding room is still under renovation, and now we live in our mother-in-law's house, and we will go to school when it is time for class. Taking care of the baby, the mother-in-law will help me share some, the mother-in-law is very good, she will take the initiative to ask me if I have enough money to spend, regularly give me money, after all, I have not yet worked, nor can I afford to give my children particularly good economic conditions.
Maybe every child is different, our children are born after the birth of a special day to sleep a lot, basically do not wake up at night, will not particularly toss me.
On the outside, I don't look like a mother who has given birth to a child, but the child has indeed become my focus, and I am now not only worried about my own learning, but also about her education, although she is only a few months old, but I am ready to give her early education classes.
I also have a sense of enterprise, will not be a full-time mother, now trying to do self-media, Vibrato has 10,000 fans, with some goods, although the income is not much, at least it is also making money.
B
"The Japanese system is very humane, and it is safe to have a baby."
Zhang Tongtong, female, 22 years old, is looking for a job, girl 3 months
I'm from Dalian, and after graduating from high school, I came to Japan to go to university and met my husband at a Japanese language school, who was five years older than me. We rent a house in Japan, 5,000 yuan a month rent, plus the cost of raising a baby, etc., there is about 13,000 yuan a month.
My husband graduated last year, this year only officially worked, I was unexpectedly pregnant last year, both people did not work at that time, that is, relying on the family's financial support, plus some part-time income from my husband's extracurricular life, that time was very difficult.
But I don't regret having a baby. My husband and I are both optimists, both are step by step mentality, and whether we have children or not, there is always financial pressure, before having children, we also have to worry about tuition, living expenses and so on.
Now even if the pressure of life is greater, at least there is hope for life.
Now in addition to my husband's work income, there is also a corresponding maternity allowance in Japan, and I can now receive 900 yuan per month.
In April this year, I sent my child to a nursery school in Japan, feeling that the teacher took better care of me than I did, ate better than at home, and the system here is very humane, if the child is more than 1 year old, you can stay in the kindergarten until 7 pm, that is, the time when the parents of the office workers leave work, and you can also send the child on Saturdays.
Nursery schools charge based on parents' income, for example we didn't have any income last year, and nursery schools don't charge fees. But there is a condition for entering the nursery: the parents must have a job, I filled in the "looking for a job" status, the nursery will give you three months, as long as you find a job within the deadline, the child can continue to go to school.
So I'm going to look for a job now. It is not difficult to find a job in Japan, and the status of being married and having children has no special impact on my job search, because in the Japanese concept, having children does not affect dedicated work, and the working hours are also very free, and some types of work you can choose your commuting time.
Now, the mother-in-law and the in-laws are in China, due to the epidemic, they can't come to Japan, they will send me some maternal and infant products from time to time, and they will also regularly watch the baby remotely.
I think the responsibilities of couples in the family are equal, with or without income, both of whom are obliged to take care of the children. During the day I take the baby alone, and at night, if the baby cries and I am sleeping, my husband gets up and makes milk powder to feed her.
After giving birth, my body also changed significantly. Now the hair loss is severe, get up every day to look in the mirror, obviously find the hairline moving back. Home, after sucking in the morning and in the afternoon is a bunch of hair, and the stretch marks are also very deep, I specifically bought a few bottles of anti-wrinkle essential oil on the Internet, smeared several times a day, and did not see any improvement, and even in the late stage may be more serious, like a maggot lying on your stomach.
C
"As soon as I see the bed where the child is born, the body will tremble uncontrollably."
Cui Shuang, female, 21 years old, stay-at-home mother, boy one year old
My husband and I have known each other since elementary school, and then I dropped out of high school to go out to work and do some bits and pieces, and after the child was accidentally conceived, I discussed with the object and decided to come down.
The process of giving birth to a child is not very smooth, but also during the pregnancy physical examination, I went to the hospital at 12 weeks to do NT (post-cervical zona cercularia scan), the doctor told us to be psychologically prepared, the baby's chromosomes may be abnormal, there is a certain probability of deformity after birth, let us prepare for miscarriage.
Hearing this bad news, my husband and I couldn't help but cry: I really can't imagine, how can such a thing fall on my head? My husband was not reconciled, let the doctor re-examine me, I went to have a non-invasive operation, a month out of the results.
The month I waited for the results, my face was all sallow yellow, and I had no energy every day, but fortunately, the final result was normal, a false alarm.
I also had some accidents on the day I was about to give birth, when the amniotic fluid broke and went to the hospital, the contractions hurt for more than 30 hours, and the result was that because the rush time was very unfortunate, there were 3 children in front of me in line.
I waited in the delivery room, my husband was always by my side, and later during the operation, the pain of the natural delivery tear made me grin my teeth, and he also called the nurse outside the window to give me a painless beating.
Now that I think back to the shadows when I was giving birth, my body would tremble uncontrollably when I saw the bed where the child was born on the short video platform.
My husband and I are both from the countryside and still live in the village. In order to take care of our mother and son, he pushed the previous work, and when the children were older, he was ready to find a job.
He is a very competent dad, taking care of the child is also very careful, every time the child cries he will take the initiative to hug, but also actively do the baby strategy, instead of pushing me, I think he for the role of dad, do better than all the boys around me.
Some relatives and neighbors around me thought that I was still a baby and would not take care of the children at all, and my parents were more worried at first, and would talk about how to take care of me, but then they found that I was doing a good job and would not interfere too much.
Today's young people want a sense of companionship, some people are cats, dogs and dogs, and for me, children are the best companion.
D
"Having a child is complicated, not only physical pain, but also facing human sophistication"
Zhao Yuqing, female, 21 years old, micro-business, girl 7 months
I didn't go to college, my husband was a junior high school classmate, and then I accidentally became pregnant, and after I found two bars on the test strip, I had the intention of giving birth to her.
At that time, the idea was very simple, I thought it was good to have a small life, I didn't expect to have a child so complicated, not only physical pain, but also to face complex interpersonal relationships.
Before I got pregnant, I had a fight with my husband's family because of whether to fight painlessly, and my mother-in-law felt that painlessness was not good for the child, but I wanted to fight painlessly, and finally I didn't fight.
After giving birth to the baby, in some parenting concepts, I and the mother-in-law's concept is also inconsistent, such as the child crying, the mother-in-law feels that it is not full, in fact, I just fed milk once ten minutes ago; for example, for the child's bottles, utensils, etc., I will clean well, disinfect with boiling water, and the mother-in-law feels unnecessary. I know that my mother-in-law is also for the good of my children, and I generally don't bother with her.
My child is clingy, just a few weeks after birth, need to look at her all the time, a moment no matter will cry non-stop, I can only stay by her side, if my mother or mother-in-law is not around, others want to call me, I am difficult to answer. Usually, I don't have time to go out shopping and eating, I have less and less contact with my former girlfriends, and my social scope is visibly narrowed to the naked eye.
To be honest, I now kind of regret having a baby because it's really tiring to have a baby, physically and psychologically.
I had a period of postpartum mania, it was easy to get emotional, such as seeing dirty things on the ground, I couldn't help but want to yell at people, and my husband said that I was like a changed person. When I returned to my mother's house, my mother and I also quarreled several times over some small things, and in the past, my temperament was completely different.
Now I am in my hometown county, and I have begun to try to open a selling account on Douyin, and also do micro-business in the circle of friends to sell some parent-child products.
At the end of the mother is micro-business. No way, after all, raising a baby needs to be spent, now I am the main force of making money, I don't want all the pressure to let him come alone, when the child is older, I will also come out to find a job, will not be a full-time mother.
And
"My mother-in-law told me to eat more fruit, and my husband would secretly drive me to eat barbecue"
Yu Xiaolu, female, 22 years old, factory warehouse manager, is currently pregnant for 3 months
I am from Sichuan, my husband is my high school alumnus, university alumni and current colleagues, we talked about love for 6 years before receiving the certificate.
Among my college classmates, I was the first to get married, and in my life plan, I graduated and went to work, and then naturally got married and had children, and everything was just right.
The object's family conditions are good, there are two houses in the local area, I live with my in-laws and mother-in-law, they are very good, the mother-in-law is more than 40 years old, usually cooking and laundry and other household chores are done by her and her father-in-law.
We want the child to be within the plan itself, without contraception. My pregnancy, my family is also very supportive, because I have a stable job after graduating from college, I did not let them worry too much, after graduation after the interview into a local battery factory as a warehouse manager. Although it is a factory, I think the environment is much better than expected, maternity leave for half a year, when I am at ease to have a baby at home, I can also take 3,000 yuan a month's basic salary.
Now many young people are reluctant to go to work in the factory, I was also a little afraid at the beginning, but after coming, I found that the factory is indeed more comfortable than many companies outside, with high wages, good benefits, food and shelter, and about 7,000 yuan per month after deducting five insurances and one gold, which is already very good for a college student like me who has just graduated.
Now 3 months pregnant, morning sickness, my body has not changed too much obviously, but every day the chest is a little swollen and painful, fortunately the current work is not tired, every day is to go to the warehouse to turn around, to see if the material is enough, not enough to ask people to send, the rest of the time are sitting on the workstation.
My mother-in-law often buys me fruit after work, saying that I eat more fruit, and after the baby is white, strictly control my diet, and do not allow me to eat randomly, but my husband will secretly drive me out to eat barbecue.