Wen 丨 Forest Mommy
A girl with severe depression said that she grew up watching her mother's face, and one of her mother's eyes had the function of making her sleepless all night.
She said: "Since I realized, what I hate most is the kind of person with an ugly face, who is not ugly, but 'mourning'. I don't know what psychology thinks a good mother looks like, but I think there is a standard that is enough, that is, 'happy', happy mother is a good mother. ”
In fact, babies before the age of three need a happy mother to spoil well, no matter how much love can not be excessive.
Some people think that the baby before the age of three does not know anything, how to treat him, he does not know, who raised him, he does not remember, so when he has a memory to treat him well, he will remember your good.
In fact, such utilitarian ideas make two serious mistakes.
First of all, the baby has a memory, but he remembers not specific events, but emotions and feelings.
If he is abused, although he does not know who abused him, he will remember the feeling of being abused and will leave behind emotional memories of being abused.
And, precisely because he didn't know who had abused him, he would grow up to generalize hatred to everyone, which was the most terrible thing.
Second, a person's emotional development is continuous, the replacement of the caregiver will make the baby feel the trauma of separation, if a person is frequently replaced by the caregiver as a child, he will continue to experience the feeling of abandonment, making it difficult to trust others for life.
So, what important mental health personality foundations does a happy mother develop and accumulate for the psychological development of infants and young children before the age of three?
Happy moms give babies more sensory stimulation
We all know that the input system of the human body is the sensory organs, that is, sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, and consciousness. These feelings are the process of information gathering and the basis of psychological development.
The baby's mental development also needs to be fully stimulated, a happy mother will look at the baby's expression more, listen to the baby's baby's babies and give responses, touch the baby's body, help them exercise more and make them laugh...
These interactions not only allow babies to feel love, companionship, and security, but they also allow babies to feel emotionally connected to their mothers.
Happy mothers prefer to conform to the baby's growth needs, babies have innate curiosity, natural desire to explore the world, and adapt to the needs of babies to nurture in order to protect the baby's curiosity.
Happy mom lets the baby shine through her mirror to self-confidence
Babies before the age of three have a narrow living space due to the limitations of intelligence and ability, the main information resources come from the caregiver, and the baby's vision has only one face, that is, the mother's face.
At this time, the baby pays more attention to and cares about the emotional information contained in the mother's body language - expressions, eyes, and body movements. The mother's smile and every move is the whole world of the baby.
Babies construct their inner world through the mirror of their mother.
Babies before the age of three have a sponge in their psyche, without any isolation from invading information.
They will passively absorb it completely, have no ability to distinguish and filter information, and have no automatic shielding ability for bad information, and are completely open and undefended. So, the same trauma, the younger the age, the greater the damage. The baby faces all the information naked, as if his body were completely naked in front of his mother.
From the perspective of a happy mother:
Whether the child is going to hug or pull the stool, whether it is making trouble during the day or crying in the middle of the night, the child can always see a happy smiley face, no irritability, no abandonment, no collapse, what kind of fairy mother is this!
Such a happy mother, let the baby feel that she is all good through the mother's mirror, and accept all of herself, how can such a baby not be confident when she grows up?
Happy moms make babies empathize to happiness
The infant defines others with his own imagination, indisputably, not only constructing his cognition of the world, but also shaping his own inner world, so the infant is the most self-
It is generally called "self-sufficiency", and in psychology it is called "projection".
For example, if there is a sudden power outage, the child will feel very frightened, so he will cry and hit the mother angrily. Apparently the baby is experiencing fear and imagining that his mother is persecuting him.
Happy mothers will feel the fear of their children and hold them in their arms for comfort. Then explain to the child that this is a power outage, not the mother who makes the house dark.
Under the comfort of the mother, the child alleviated the fear and verified that the mother was "good", dispelling the suspicion of the mother's persecution. At the same time, I don't know that this is something called a "blackout" in the world. So the baby can distinguish between the real dilemma and the persecution of others, so that the baby will grow up to look at the world and others objectively, without paranoid and illusory imagination of others.
Children before the age of three are a blank piece of paper, parents are the most important people for children, and the emotions on the parents' faces are the weather in the child's world, whether it is thunder and rain, or warm wind, the child can only passively bear.
Therefore, give the child more smiling faces, live with an optimistic and positive attitude, not only to live your own life, but also to render the background for the child's life.