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It's another year of green grass, and another year of clarity.
In April on earth, the pear blossoms are windy, and today's main theme is to meet together and part ways; it is mourning and comfort.
Figure 1 Figure 2 | zhang kaiyv
When I was a child, I followed the adults to visit the graves, listening to them tell the same story year after year, I was a little dissatisfied, and I was more interested in the ritual of "painting, changing paper, incense, burning paper money, and setting off firecrackers".
It wasn't until I grew older that the adults who told stories at the beginning, some of whom had become stories of other people, gradually understood:
Qingming carries countless thoughts and sorrows; and sweeping the grave is not only a tribute to the ancestors, but also a comfort to one's own soul.
Figure 1| Tu Worm - Yan Jun
Bai Juyi has a poetry cloud: "Tang pear blossoms reflect poplar trees, all are parting places of life and death." ”
In the clear background, there is a trace of sadness that cannot be dissolved.
One of the most important things on this day is to visit the grave. Bringing sacrifices, carrying scythes, and hoes, a large group of people went out in a big way.
On the road, the elders often recite anecdotes from previous years, or reminisce about the past, or lament the time, and the words are accompanied by a little sigh and sigh.
When they arrived at the ancestral cemetery, the family started to cut down the branches and hoe the grass, turn the ditch and cultivate the soil, and then put on the offerings, replace the rune paper, paint the red paint, and repair the old grave.
Then the elders lit incense and guided the children to kneel one after another, chanting words such as ancestor blessings in their mouths, with a solemn look.
After the worship, the adults will tell the children the stories of their ancestors, so that they know where their ancestors came from, what they experienced, and where they went.
I once read a sentence: In this life, only when you stand in front of the graves of your ancestors can you really think about where your roots are.
We walk in this world, like a kite floating in the air, the root, is the line that pulls us, giving us the confidence to move forward, and the dependence when we are tired.
We pay attention to "falling leaves back to the roots", no matter how far away you go, where the roots are, the soul is there.
A colleague said that in his hometown, there is an indispensable ritual for sweeping the tomb every year during the Qingming Dynasty - burning the sacrifice text.
The altar text records the life and deeds of the ancestors, and some basic information of the descendants, such as identity, name, gender, etc.
They believe that by burning the sacrifice text, they can comfort the ancestors, let the ancestors know their future generations, and let the future generations remember where their roots are.
Tomb sweeping is our memorial and thoughts of our ancestors, and it is also the sustenance of our hearts and the release of our emotions.
Qingming is a day when countless memories can be easily pulled out. It reminds you of where you came from, of your ancestors, of the past and thoughts that have long been erased by time.
Pictured | zhang kaiyv
It is said in the Dream Quest that a person dies three times in a lifetime:
The first time was when he lost his breath, biologically he died.
The second time was when he was buried, people came to his funeral, remembering his life, and in society he died.
The third time was the last one to remember him, to forget him, and that's when he really died.
The end of life is not death, but oblivion.
As Stetson mentioned in "Grandma's Star", when he was a child, his grandmother said to him: "When a person dies, he becomes a star." If one person dies on the earth, there will be one more star in the sky. ”
Whenever he looked up and saw the stars, Stetson would think of his grandmother. The stars are there, and Grandma is there.
The people who miss them never die, they just change places and live in people's hearts.
Lin Qingxuan once said: "If people can return happily, death cannot kill people, but people kill death." ”
Qingming is a festival that faces death.
And we often lack the courage to face death. Because we can never be prepared to say goodbye to our loved ones forever.
A netizen once shared her story:
On the day my grandmother died, my mother held me and cried for a long time, and she whimpered like a child and said, "Mommy has no more mom." ”
I was still young, and I felt sad only because I had lost an old man who loved me very much.
Until I grew up and saw such a sentence: "Parents are here, life still has a place to come; parents go, life is only the way home", I suddenly realized the heartache of my mother that day.
In our traditional culture, death is always kept secretive.
4 is unlucky, so the 4th floor should be called 3A; death can not say death, to say "go"; chopsticks can not be inserted directly on the rice... All kinds of taboos show our long-term avoidance and fear of death.
The most valuable thing about Qingming is that it gives us a chance to face death and learn to say goodbye.
I remember an elder once said: "If there are no regrets, maybe we will not miss them." ”
Standing in front of the tomb, recalling the life of the owner of the tomb, no matter the ups and downs, or the ordinary, it is inevitable that there will be some regrets and sighs, but that is the most real taste of life.
Birth, old age, illness and death, natural reincarnation, never favoring anyone. We can't influence life and death, but we should always face parting calmly.
From the beginning of our birth, life has set the tone of "separation" - the separation from the mother's womb at birth, the separation from the original family when entering marriage, the separation from the vigorous vitality in middle age and old age...
We have grown up in this separation again and again, and we have matured in this goodbye again and again.
As Haizi said, "Farewell is the ascetic path to growth."
Every separation means a new page in life. You always have to learn to say goodbye in order to live this life well.
One year at a time, one year at a time. After experiencing life and death, I know more about love and cherishing.
Saying goodbye does not mean forgetting, but learning to accept regrets calmly and take a new journey in life.
Therefore, during the Qingming Dynasty, in addition to sweeping the grave, it is more of a greeting between relatives and friends, the elders talk about the parents are short, and the children are laughing and playing... The interweaving of life and death has never been so harmonious at one moment.
The deceased is gone, the living are like this, and living well is the best consolation for the dead.
Clarity is to let us learn to say goodbye with love and get along with love.
Pictured | CNU photographer Blank
Someone on zhihu once asked: Why does Qingming have to go home?
A high praise replied: Relatives and people are busy for their own lives, and it is very necessary to take advantage of the Qingming Festival to commemorate the ancestors, and everyone gathers together to contact feelings. Otherwise, when my parents are gone, everyone will gradually become estranged, and even if it is just for the sake of getting together, I will go back.
Yes, for people in other places, every festival has the same meaning, that is, "going home".
During the Qingming Dynasty, not only the spring rains, but also the return of the family.
On weekdays, it may be the north and south of the sea, each running away, taking advantage of the Qingming gathering, even if it is just a few casual nagging, it seems precious.
The purpose of our Qingming homecoming is not only to burn incense in front of the graves of our ancestors, but also to comfort our own souls.
Yu Dan once said: "During the Qingming Festival, it is often the time to wash the heart. ”
Qingming is a grand "frenzy".
Adults who are accustomed to repression in their daily lives finally have a reason to vent their emotions and no longer have to try to play an "emotionally stable" adult.
Under the influence of More than 2,500 years of Confucian culture, we are accustomed to "self-denial and retribution" and advocate "mood and anger are not in form", which is not wrong, but it also cuts off our desire and channel to talk.
Those sorrows that cannot be poured out in ordinary days, only through the opportunity of clear mourning, can be poured out in one brain, no longer have to worry about the strange eyes of others, and no one persuades you to be patient, how rare!
Just like Mr. Ji Xianlin, who has always been open-minded and frank in the eyes of outsiders, when he returned to his hometown at the age of 90 to visit the grave, he fell to his knees in front of his parents' graves and kept prostrating his head.
After returning to Beijing, he took up his pen and wrote down a 24,000-word "Hometown Trip", saying: "Mother, I am afraid that this is the last time your son will come to visit your grave, and I will sleep next to you in the future!" ”
The exhaustion and pressure of work and life are put aside for the time being. At the moment, you just have to be yourself.
Only when the garbage of the soul is emptied can the willows and flowers be seen. Qingming is a self-healing spiritual spa of the Chinese nation.
I still remember when I was a child sweeping graves, near the end, the adults would light a string of firecrackers, at this time the timid children had already covered their ears, and still could not stop the "crackling" sound.
The deafening sound of firecrackers may also be the cry that the adults have suppressed for a long time, and when it is finished, their hearts will be open.
Nowadays, although firecrackers are no longer set off, I can always remember the old pictures.
Deep in the mountains, paper smoke is everywhere, and the sound of firecrackers is rising and falling... A sound, so far away, so clear.
Sweeping the grave in the Qingming Dynasty is not only a tribute to the dead, but also a comfort given to the living.
In the final analysis, the dead have no place in the world of the living, and the fireworks in the human world have nothing to do with them. Only a blazing incense in front of the grave carries the mourning of the living.
Dust and smoke rose, with the sorrow and sorrow of the world, and the wind blew through, and it also dissipated.
Pear blossoms are windy and clear, have you returned to your hometown to visit the grave this year? Who are you walking with? Who are you thinking about?
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