Wen/Lan Mama on parenting
A friend shared a parenting topic today: [First grade children complain to the principal to the teacher]
Here's how it went:
Grandma sent a message late at night: "You ask the teacher in the group, Yin Yin (the child's nickname) said that she wanted to write the alphabet silently, looked for the teacher several times, the teacher pushed this yesterday, today to the Ming, Yin Yin also said: The teacher will ignore it anymore, no, I told the principal to go."
This sentence, Yin Yin's mother's first reaction after hearing it was "how can a child who is only in the first grade have such a thought?"
So, my mother began an education, and she told Yin Yin, "How can you have such a thought?" The teacher is so busy every day, the alphabet silent writing is definitely not random spot check, or collective silent writing, if the teacher knows that you want to run to the principal to complain, how sad should he be, how can you mix with the teacher in the future? ”
After this voice was sent, within a minute Grandma replied: "Everyone has said it, found a teacher several times, you ask in the group what's going on."
In desperation, Yin Yin's mother sent a private message to the teacher and quickly got a reply, and the teacher told:
"Because I was silently writing, I was taking time out to check one by one, and the children in the class were more slow, and then she silently wrote three or four times with me, and she was not very skilled before, and there were more mistakes every time, so I told her to practice more at home.
After understanding things become much simpler, it turns out that the first grade children have been learning the alphabet for more than two weeks, and the teacher is also using the recess time to conduct spot checks on the students, in order to encourage the enthusiasm of the children, so the implementation of the customs clearance of small cards (exchange prizes) of the commitment, so that children who are eager to get small prizes are more or less anxious.
After this incident, Yin Yin's mother has always believed that the child's learning attitude is not correct enough, the teacher implements the pass prize card to encourage, which is also a motivation for the teacher himself to the children, but the children in the unknown are always easy to mix some comparison or misunderstanding, such as "so-and-so students have got the customs clearance card, I don't want to be compared", or like Yin Yin, because of their own strength is not in place, the teacher suggests going home to practice more ignoring the misunderstanding, these different ideas and different attitudes will also directly affect the child's learning status.
Why is it said that the child's attitude directly determines the learning state?
We often say that the best teacher of children is interest, because interest can usually be from the child's attitude, or behavior to feedback the current state, maintain interest can have more positive energy and behavioral response, and attitude to the general direction, attitude is a person's life, value and worldview behavior embodiment, if simple and easy to understand is to do what they think is useful.
If a child can recognize the importance of learning, and foresee the prospects of learning, then under the influence of interest goals and motivation, children in the learning of natural moments of serious efforts, they at least know what they should do, even in learning or life lazy, but also through the reading attitude to play a certain role in supervision and correction, in short, attitude affects behavior, behavior determines our state of life, if there is no good attitude how to maintain a good state?
So, how should parents usually improve their children's learning status through their children's attitudes?
1. Parents first learn to respect teachers
The "Book of Rites" says that "the teacher is strict and then the Daozun, the Daozun is then known and respected", the meaning of this sentence is that only by respecting the teacher can we know how to respect knowledge and learning, just as the so-called virtue is the teacher's body, the teacher is the spiritual fountain of wisdom, the embodiment of knowledge, and it is also a model of human morality, and it is also the guide for Qianqian students to learn knowledge and seek merit, and how many children who call for "teacher and teacher" every day really understand the meaning of "teacher"?
The so-called "teacher" is "old for the old, learn for the teacher", usually communicate with the teacher as much as possible to use the title of "you", which is not only the title we define for the teacher, but also the five-thousand-year-old etiquette culture, especially in the usual students respect the teacher This far-reaching road, respect for the teacher also needs the parents' words and deeds, only parents know how to respect the teacher, cooperate with the teacher, children can respect the teacher under the influence of zhu Zhichi, pay attention to teaching and study hard.
How parents can set an example for their children to respect their teachers:
1) Home-school co-education, communicate with teachers in time when encountering problems
2) Trust the teacher, do not over-speculate and interpret the teacher's words
3) Understand the teacher and use honorifics as much as possible in speech
4) Attach importance to education, cultivate children to be independent and strong, and study hard
5) Face each other squarely and establish a communication environment of mutual respect
6) Polite environment, use polite words, such as "thank you", "trouble you", "hard work"
2. Greeting the teacher every day
Respect for the teacher We need to reflect in all aspects of life, of which the best respect for the teacher is trust and concern, like the Sissi incident mentioned in the opening text, this little girl showed extreme distrust in the face of the teacher's busy delay, especially "No, I told the principal to go" is even more disrespectful to the teacher.
You know, most of the time the teacher is not in school, or is on the way to school, including parents, usually should understand the teacher's busyness, no time to look at the mobile phone, no time to follow up the learning progress of each student, when our understanding of the teacher is greater than complaining, between home and school, including teachers and students can respect a person from the inside.
If our children do not know how to respect the teacher, then let's start with the small details of life, such as the daily greeting habit of greeting the teacher, this habit seems to be the child's politeness and advantages, in fact, when you greet a person every day, this is a warm little detail, all say that people who love to laugh are generally not too lucky, a sweet mouth to understand polite children will also discuss like, even if the child's body advantages are not much, and finally in the know how to respect others in order to get the attention and respect of others, This is often easier to do one thing at a time than to make up for it.
3. Language encouragement > material rewards
Improve children's learning interest and attitude, many parents including teachers like to give children sufficient ability induction, such as reward toys, reward wishes, reward stickers, etc., these material rewards seem to improve the child's motivation to learn, do not know that material rewards are easy to cultivate children "because of things", once the loss of material goals after learning for children will also lose motivation, and even many children in the material gradually develop vanity, comparison, it is important to see the "things" than "learning" How do important mindsets become self-reliant?
Therefore, to cultivate children's good learning attitude needs to pay attention to language encouragement> material rewards, for children to give encouragement from the language of energy induction, this energy induction is derived from the child's self-confidence in the body, ability recognition, usually as far as possible to praise the child's details, encourage their attitude, you will find that every progress of the child is based on the strengths of the self-understanding.
How to effectively encourage your child's language? You can influence from the following aspects:
1) Details, you do a great job at xx, xx can try xx methods
2) Goals, the idea is fantastic, when will the plan start
3) Attitude, the way you actively learn and be strong in the face of difficulties is too charming
4) Shortcomings, shortcomings are good, because we have another chance to improve
5) Self-discipline, child, thank you for your self-discipline affecting my laziness, and we continue to cheer together
4, encourage is not as strong as more independent
Before listening to a mother said: The child must not be accustomed to coaxing, or it is the same as raising an enemy, before it was good to her, but whenever you did not satisfy her once, the previous good is in vain, the heart still remembers the hate, if the child can not move to cry, encourage it is better to let them be independent, no self-confidence children are satisfied with a little praise, casually praise a few words to feel invincible, better than anyone, wait until others are stronger than themselves, the heart can not stand ...
Although encouraging children can maintain the child's learning motivation, but encouragement is sometimes not as strong and independent as the child himself, his own strong independence is derived from a strong inner feeling, this induction can have enough resistance when encountering difficulties, those children who can face difficulties in setbacks, in fact, in addition to having a positive and optimistic attitude, independence and strength is the main counterweight to the indestructible in difficulties, so when children encounter difficulties, it is important to encourage and cultivate children to be strong and independent.
How to cultivate children's strength and independence? Parents usually need to influence from the following aspects:
1) Do your own things, and try to learn to do things that you can't do
2) When encountering problems, find the reason from yourself first, and don't rush to struggle with who is right and who is wrong
3) When it is difficult, think about what else I can do, don't rush to deny yourself, afraid of not doing well
4) Participate in housework, and the ability to work will help children's self-confidence, participation and sense of responsibility to be enhanced
5) When you succeed, don't forget to summarize and do a good job of experience improvement and management for the next growth
Learning is a road without end, this road children encounter Bole, luck and misfortune, are their growth in the rare experience and growth, every growth will be a new progress and power innovation, children only to experience the growth of their own, parents and teachers are only children learning to grow in the guide, the real wisdom and value or need children to experience their own experience!
So, what do you think about the behavior of children who encounter problems and sue the principal against the teacher? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area to share!
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I am Lan Ma, focusing on the analysis of the parenting field author, with personal examples, a variety of family education examples, to record the moment of parenting feelings, like friends, welcome to pay attention to @ Lan Mama talk about parenting together to learn and grow together!