Image source: Visual China
Recently, under the epidemic, a child who attended 23 training courses has become a hot topic. After checking the total number of extracurricular classes for all the children in the department, everyone still said that they did not dare to go to the imperial capital in the next life.
But can the 23 training classes really help children tap their talents? Not necessarily.
Recently, there is a term in the education circle that has exploded – talent.
Because almost all educational media will tell you that "talent" is like the shining "reactor" on Iron Man's chest, as long as the child has this "artifact", they will not only immediately double their energy and redouble their efforts, but also develop some amazing new skills, and finally ride the dust and lead the way on the road of life.
For example, just past the Winter Olympics, Ski Princess Gu Ailing, is to fully explore their own athletic talents, not only won the gold medal softly, but also did not delay becoming a Stanford University bully...
"Talent" is important, and there's nothing wrong with that.
But if you only preach its importance without telling you the cruelest truths about talent, I am afraid that most parents who are busy helping their children find talent will end up feeling frustrated and disappointed.
The famous British educator Ken. Robinson, in his book Let the Gifts Be Free, reveals these truths about gifts.
Most people in the world will never find talent in their entire lives
In the book "Let the Gift Be Free", Robinson tells such a story -
Gillian, an 8-year-old girl, has always been a "bear child" who makes all teachers feel headaches. She was late for school, poorly written, had poor test scores, and not only that, but she was also a nasty class breaker, noisy and noisy in class, and the teacher had to pull her attention back again and again, but she began to harass her table again...
In the end, Gillian's mother had to take her to a psychiatrist. The psychologist took his mother to the door after a detailed understanding of the situation. Before going out, he turned on the radio on his desk.
The two adults stood quietly outside the window of the doctor's office, and they saw that Gillian stood up to the sound of music and began to dance to the melody.
The psychiatrist said to the mother: "You also saw that the child is not sick, she is a dancer, send her to dance school." ”
Mom followed the advice and actually sent Gillian to dance school. The door of the girl's talent was suddenly opened! Not only does she love dancing, she practices hard every day and her grades have steadily improved. She found herself the kind of person who "needs to learn while exercising."
Later, Gillian entered the Royal Ballet Academy in London and became a soloist. She then founded her own musical theater troupe and collaborated on some of the most successful works in music history, including Cats and Phantom of the Opera. Today, Gillian earns millions of dollars a year.
△ Stills from the movie "Black Swan"
At first glance, this is another bear child's story of "finding talent and achieving a counterattack", but have you ever thought that there are several indispensable key factors for Gillian to discover and achieve her talent - experienced psychologists (talented discoverers), tolerant parents (gifted encouragers), and first-class dance academies (talented cultivators).
Suppose, let's replace the protagonist of the story, Gillian, with an 8-year-old bear child, Xiao Wang. What happened to her would most likely look like this:
Classroom mischief - being punished by the teacher for standing in the corridor;
See a psychologist - judged to have ADHD, take medication, continue to go back to school for strict discipline, and be punished by teachers to stand in the corridor;
Or maybe the psychiatrist suggested that her mother send her to dance school— which she said sounded like a ghost. No, we have to continue to study hard and strive for the 985 exam... Go home and beat him up, continue back to school and be strictly disciplined, and be punished for standing in the corridor.
It can be seen from this that "finding talent" is a luxury. Because for the vast majority of people in the world, they are either "discoverers" who lack talent, or "encouragers" and "cultivators" who lack talent.
Even if any link goes wrong, the talent may die.
Especially when the child discovers his talent - the adult still has the ability to choose to be willful and pursue the dream; but if the child's talent is not liked by the adult, it may be a taunt, which is enough to extinguish the enthusiasm.
△ Stills from the movie "Black Swan" to find talent, not necessarily will make you more "successful"
I have a dentist friend who recently quit my job and instead went to study for exams and went to graduate school in education.
I asked her, "Are you crazy?" Why don't you do such a high-paying job? Being a teacher doesn't make as much money as a dentist! ”
She explained that she really did not like to be a doctor, that going to work every day was torture, and that her parents had forced her to choose a major. "I'm old now, and I decided to live for myself and follow my strengths and loves."
You see, finding talent can indeed fill a person with a sense of happiness and accomplishment, and make his life more fulfilling;
But if you measure it from a secular perspective and regard "financial wealth" as "success", then "talent" really cannot bring you the so-called "success" in the eyes of the world in many cases.
In Let the Gift Be Free, Robinson tells a similar story:
Suzanne Peterson has a superhuman talent for dancing, having twice won the Las Vegas Holiday Dance Classic, the 2007 Atlanta Latin Dance Championship, and more.
Despite her love of dancing, Suzanne did not make a living with her dancing talent. Her formal career is as chairman and general manager of a training company and professor in the Department of Management at Arizona State University's School of Global Management and Leadership.
Robinson says in the book, "Discovering talent doesn't necessarily make you rich." In fact, it could be the opposite — exploring what you're passionate about could lead you to quit your high-paying job as an investment banker in favor of pursuing your own dream of opening your own pizzeria. Discovering talent doesn't necessarily make you famous, more popular, and what good it will do for your family..."
The true value of talent is that "for everyone, being in a talent, even if it's only part of the time, brings more richness and balance to their lives." ”
Robinson's passage translates to say that talent isn't necessarily the ideal career, but it's good to just treat it as a hobby.
You may be late to find talent
The highest dream of our parents is probably that children can discover their talents at a very young age, and then "chicken" all the way to the peak of life.
For example, the Chinese mathematician Tao Zhexuan, at the age of 2, can read by himself and solve double-digit mathematical equations. At the age of 20, Tao Zhexuan received his doctorate, and at the age of 30, he won the "Fields Medal" and the "MacArthur Genius Award", which are considered "Nobel Prizes" in mathematics...
△ Chinese mathematician Tao Zhexuan
It is said that Tao's father never chicken baby, but often advises children to "slow down", "don't be too advanced", helpless Little Tao is not listening, that is, to study hard to become a mathematician.
There is also the Winter Olympic champion Su Yiming, who knew at the age of 3 that he loved skiing. Since then, I have been practicing hard, and I can't stop at all.
△ Su Yiming, who skis in the movie
Look at other people's children, and then look at their own babies, not to mention two or three years old to discover talent, now so big, the only "talent" seems to be still digging mud and playing games! Does it make you feel the urge to hit someone?
Don't worry, you're not the only parent who feels this way.
Another truth about talent is that only a very small number of "lucky people" can find talent at a young age; most people will find "talent" later.
The good news is that even a talent that is discovered very late can lead to brilliant achievements.
Susan Jefferies is the author of several best-selling books, including Overcoming Fear within. The book has sold millions of copies, translated into more than 35 languages, and has been distributed in more than 100 countries. In addition to this, Susan has written 17 other best-selling books worldwide... Few people know that Susan didn't start her writing career until she was 40 years old.
There are not a few people who have achieved great achievements in their later years -
Benjamin Franklin was 78 years old when he invented the bifocal lens;
It was also at this age when Grandma Moses decided to start painting seriously;
Agatha Christie wrote the longest play in the world at the age of 62;
Jessica Tandy won the Academy Award for Best Actress at the age of 80;
At the age of 84, Vladimir Horowitz gave his last piano recital, which was packed.
Pianist Vladimir Horowitz
Robinson said: "Human life is holistic and cyclical, and different abilities will be expressed in stronger forms at different stages of our lives." As a result, we can have multiple opportunities for growth and development in our lifetime, as well as opportunities to tap our potential multiple times. ”
Not all of our abilities degenerate with age. For example, it is widely believed that our mathematical abilities peak in their twenties and thirties, referring to the ability of world-class mathematicians to study advanced mathematics, as Tao Zhexuan did. The same is true of learning to play an instrument.
But in other ways, maturity is the real advantage, especially in art. Many writers, poets, painters and composers, as they age, have instead created their greatest works because of their increased insight and sensitivity.
The same is true for other disciplines such as law, cooking, teaching, and landscape architecture. In fact, in all disciplines where experience plays an important role, age is an asset, not a burden.
△ How to improve the probability of finding talent in the screenshot of the TV series "My Business Is Long"?
Having said all that, it is not difficult for us to find that "talent" is really a "very mysterious thing" for most people.
Many who have found it have described it as "a momentary epiphany." Yet with this epiphany, you have no idea where it is or what time period of time it will occur in your life.
Even if you're very lucky enough to find it, it won't necessarily bring you worldly wealth and success; your dad, your mom, your friends, and friends around you won't necessarily like and support your talent (if you're a future sculptor, playing with mud is your talent, and you guess how many people will understand it from the start).
△ Screenshot of the TV series "My Business Is a Long Story"
If, after learning the cruel truth behind talent, you still want to help your child find it, then Robinson has a few suggestions that can improve the probability of finding talent -
Robinson says talent has two characteristics: talent and passion; finding talent also has two conditions: attitude and opportunity.
In order to increase the probability of children meeting "talents", parents need to help them explore abilities and interests in a comprehensive way. In other words, it is to try more and see more "the world".
Just like Gu Ailing and Su Yiming, if the parents did not take them to slide through the snow, these two children may never find that they are talented in this project.
In addition, it is necessary to break down the conceptual "barriers" and allow talents to grow freely. As a parent, you may wish to ask yourself a few questions like this -
If they are only responsible for themselves, what will the child choose?
What types of activities do children volunteer to participate in?
What kind of abilities have they shown?
What is most attractive to them?
No one ever told Tao Zhexuan to stop studying mathematics, even if he could make more money by becoming a lawyer... Only in this way can he successfully discover his talents.
Xiao Tao shows us all a key question: if we only start from our talents and don't have to worry about making a living, or what others think of me, what do we like to do most?
The answer to the question is likely to be where your talent lies.
Finally, keep your child malleable. Tell him that life is a long run, and you can constantly improve your creativity and wisdom. Even if you can only find your own talent when you grow up, it is not too late, and you can bravely pursue it.