*Title Source: Question 5 of this issue
Get started with new powder
Question 1
Keywords: Unmatched
We know each other, his family has a house in the county, his hometown, and Changsha, and the mortgage in Changsha is repaid by himself, and the down payment is made by his parents
Boy long portrait OK height 170, weight 140 pounds, income 14000, 90 years of single child, the family is more pampered, dad as a security guard, mom private school teacher, minority shareholders, can share 400,000 per year.
I am 163 tall, weigh 103, 93 years of income 6000, there are dividends, work in my father's company, non-independence, family conditions are not bad, the county, hometown, Foshan also have a house, I think our two conditions are still OK
May 2, 2022 planning to get married, recently happened unpleasant things, I bought two sets of clothes I like very much before the New Year, the price is 3400 (usually will not buy so expensive) He knows that he is very unhappy, he thinks that the things I buy are too expensive, he wants to buy a graphics card has been reluctant to buy, marriage engagement is his mother's money, he himself is also very thrifty, usually do not buy brand-name clothes, good clothes are bought for him by his mother, he hates his mother every time to buy too expensive
He is not a romantic person, has been looking forward to him one day to propose to me, I have said directly, usually special home, the only thing that moves me is that I once aunt hurt him from Guangzhou to Foshan Early the next morning to go to Work in Guangzhou, sending flowers is also what I asked to send, what to prepare for the engagement is my mother and me to worry about, he never cared about these things
I now feel that he should not love me, and the marriage may also be because his parents are interested in me, what should I do now?
answer
At first, when I looked at your photos, I thought it was a picture of two girls, but when I looked closely, I found that it was a picture of a boy who looked like a girl and the subject himself. At first, I thought that the boy's eyes were so big because of the distortion of beauty, but I didn't expect that the eyes of the boys in each photo were 2 to 3 times larger than the subject. The choice between the two of you, if you turn to a boy, he is better looking than you among boys; if he turns to a girl, he is also better looking than you in girls. And the boy's appearance should be weaker than the girl's, you can imagine how much you climbed.
If in a relationship, the other party feels that he has suffered losses and has a bad heart, then he is not satisfied with what you do, and he feels that it is not worth it how much money you spend. I think you're right, from the description he really doesn't love you, and it's also very likely that he got married because his mom and dad are interested in you, and it's up to you to see what you want to do now.
If you feel like you like him, it doesn't matter if you don't like him, what happens later, as long as you can be with him, you have no regrets, and you can live a life; if you want a single-minded person who loves you, loves you more than you love him, and has more sincerity and patience for long-term choices, you can only break up and find another way.
In addition, this boy from the photo, is really too beautiful like a girl, each of you photos are more like sisters, so he likes girls, but also a question mark. A boy like himself who is clean and has a high income can match a better girl, why is his parents so satisfied with you, not that he is very sincere about you, and the reasons behind it are also worth pondering.
In short, the future is your own. Low perception, not realizing that this relationship mismatch is the focus, "aunt hurt him from Guangzhou to Foshan" is just a skill. Girls like you who are easily moved by skill and can't tell whether they are climbing high or not should polish their eyes before marriage, conduct in-depth investigation of each other, and make careful choices.
Question 2
Keywords: online lending
Hello Sister Doll. Although it is a new fan for two years, I have learned a lot, constantly lowered my heart, and gained a good match. I am worried that I will not see the potential danger.
Female, 95 years, undergraduate, 164-50, non-exclusive, sisters. Monthly income of 10,000, deposits of more than 80,000. The family has 200,000 cars, and the village has millions of self-built small villas.
Male, 93 years, junior college, 168-60, solitude. Monthly income of 10,000, debt of 150,000. No car, a suite in the city has been renovated, parents down payment + mortgage repayment.
We are former colleagues (with a photo to hide), he is a good person, three views, a wide range of knowledge. I am his first love, in love for 8 months, on weekdays he likes to talk to me about various things, I also like to listen, high emotional concentration, mobile phone casually look, has seen parents.
After they were together, he confessed that he owed more than 200,000 online dai, did not have a credit report, had a strong vanity after graduation, bought a lot of game consoles and electronic products, and was often dragged to pay, to determine that there was no yellow gambling drug. He took the initiative to tell his uncle (police) and his family that everyone would help him think of countermeasures and supervise him.
Now he is paying back almost all his salary, relying on meals and cars and credit cards every month, and there are 150,000 left, which may be even less. His idea was to work hard to pay it off, save money to get married, and offer to give me the financial power. He had prepared holiday gifts with his heart, hundreds and thousands. Seeing what I need is also very active to buy, usually eating, drinking and having fun, he should also be more out, and he did not treat me badly.
I don't like to owe money, and although I've always encouraged him to pay him back, I care. I didn't tell my family about it, I thought it would always pass, and I didn't want to affect their impression of my boyfriend. But still worried, is there a potential danger that I can't see? If so, how to prevent and solve it?
(Swipe left or right to see more)
There are two things to look at.
The first is that what he says is true. These 200,000 network dai are indeed spent on game consoles and electronic products. You can do a survey to see if he really has so many electronic devices in his home, and find a way to see if there are electronic bills or the like in the email. Although in my opinion, 200,000 spent on game consoles and electronic products is really a bit much, but it is not excluded that he borrowed a high loan, and finally rolled to 200,000 so much.
The second is that he's lying to you. To be honest, the debt of 200,000 is really not a small number that a working class can afford, if you change people, you may stop when you owe 50,000 debts, and the money borrowed from your family will also be repaid in full, and there will be no 150,000 left as now. He can accept such a large number of 200,000, on the one hand, it shows that he is not sensitive to risk, not afraid of living a day without tomorrow, and prefers to fight a bicycle to become a motorcycle life, then you can follow him more bitterly.
In either case, people who owe a lot of debt like this will have a change in their mentality when choosing a mate. You think, he now has to pay off his debts, even he can't take care of himself, how to promise you the future, give you parents to invest in it, most of them will find a girl who they know is not so matched, and reluctantly get together. And you not only climb him a lot on the photo, the mentality is also full of low MV, hear the other party's big bug does not want to run, and dare not tell the family about this matter, which shows that you want to climb high.
You ask about the potential danger, that must be there, can gao climb without danger. But prevention and resolution, IMHO, cannot be done in your power. If you can give up the mentality of high climbing, be rational, know that this boy will match you because he is in the trough, decisively leave and find it, and maybe you can live a stable life. But you are now deeply involved in the relationship of Gao Pan and do not want to leave, the perception is also very low, the chat history sent is not like other Cantonese-speaking girls with the same intimate translation, resulting in me not understanding, can only say that you can stretch the front line a little longer to see, more inspection, see what else he has that you don't know, I think there are many more.
If you two really come to the step of talking about marriage in the end, you must tell your family about his debt first, they must be the best you, the most hope that you are happy, listen to their advice to you, do not insist on going your own way.
Question 3
Keywords: 6000 computers
Hello doll sister, see the letter as it is, thank you for teaching us to learn emotional knowledge, guide us to step less on the pit. To be born in this era and meet the doll sister is really my luck. Thank you. Than heart.
I was 94 years old and my brother was 95 years old. My younger brother is studying for a Ph.D. in another province. I live at home, used to be a nurse, and now I am full-time self-media. Dad suffered a stroke and was paralyzed, and Mom served day and night. They have pensions.
I'm making a lot of money every month right now, but I spend 1/3 to 2/3 of my salary every month on my family. Before the family had tens of millions of debts, I was still working, and I took out 2/3 or 3/4 of my salary every month to my family. Now the house is demolished. No more debts.
My mother once said, "If you marry someone I don't like, I won't give you any of the family's property." "Then my brother wants to buy a house on the front line, and she wants to support it in full." Then I had to stay in my hometown and take care of them. I want to leave, and now it's okay to ask me to pay the rent for my family, I have no problem.
This winter vacation my brother came back, my mother went to him specifically to tell him, your sister at home to take care of us is very hard, my brother said to buy me a 6,000 yuan computer. Sister Doll, to be honest, I really don't need it, the old computer can still be used.
My brother never managed the house. My mother cooks Chinese medicine every day, and I have to share all kinds of housework. When I bought a computer this time, I felt that it was to let me have no regrets, work hard and complain about all the housework at home.
issue:
How can I refuse the computer, let my brother also try to go anywhere, and have to share the housework and take care of the elderly every day? I can buy that computer myself, and I can rent it at home.
I think the root cause of your annoyance is that you think too much.
Your brother buys you a computer, which may be a deep concern for your sister and brother, but you have a bit of paranoia about being killed, thinking that he bought the computer just to let you do housework, and the resentment is too heavy. In my opinion, these two things are not related.
If you don't want to do housework, no one can force you to do it, if you don't want to do it and feel indebted to your parents, then pay someone to help you at home. If you think that your brother is not at home after earning money, you do not pay money, and you feel uncomfortable paying for it yourself, then discuss with your brother, and two people can pay for it in half.
But looking at your questions, what you mind is not the money, but the psychological imbalance towards your brother. You want to "let my brother also try to go anywhere, and also have to share the housework every day, to take care of the feeling of the elderly", you want emotional value, tell him that the 6000 computer can not buy your hard work at home.
But first, your brother is going to study abroad, and you can't tie him up at home; second, it won't do you any good, but it's purely satisfying for your psychological pleasure of revenge.
If you keep thinking about problems with such a mentality, it will only make you fall into the abyss of emotions. I don't know if you have ever heard a saying: when you gaze into the abyss, the abyss is also staring at you, so don't look too long. What you hurt is your own emotions, your own body.
It is indeed difficult for parents to level a bowl of water for their children, but as children, complaining about the gap between parents and siblings cannot change anything. Since you are very eager to leave and are willing to pay for it, then I recommend that you also go to the big city to develop. You are now a full-time self-media, and there may be more opportunities for development and cooperation in big cities.
But if you have the ability to leave, and you are not willing to leave because of your concern for your parents, you can admit it. Staying to take care of your parents is to make yourself feel at ease, so don't blame your parents for your brother. Always think that this is their benefit and you suffer, in the long run, your resentment will only get heavier, and it will be harmful to work and mate selection.
Don't always think of people as bad. Even if your brother doesn't send you a computer, he won't be at home with his parents, so he sends you a computer just to get along with you. You put away the computer, say thank you to your brother, say "We are all grown up, we can rely on each other in the future, support this family" and learn to provide emotional value to others, maybe this relationship will slowly develop in a benign direction.
For parents, if you want to help your family in the future, don't be so angry with your mother. At present, you only remember the bad and not the good of your parents, and your mother said, "If you marry someone I don't like, I won't give you any of the family's property" and you will remember it. So how do you know that in the future you will marry someone your mother doesn't like? If you are very well-behaved and find a husband who is good, won't your mother be happy for you and rest assured that you will invest in you?
Don't assume that your mother will be bad for you, and don't assume that you will be a bad child in the future. Be optimistic about everything, and the people and things around you will change because of your mindset. Your age of 94 is not small, but you didn't mention the matter of mate selection, if not, start a blind date as soon as possible.
Blindly engaging in a career may not help you leave home, but marriage must be OK, each of us will not have only one home, your original family may not be warm enough, but you still have the opportunity to run a new warm family.
Old powder advanced
Question 4
Keywords: marriage is stable
Dear doll sister, I am very lucky to know you, thank you for so many years to continue to make such a good platform for everyone.
I 89 years, 163cm 49kg, within the system, 30w+, alone, parents of the hometown of two bedrooms, in my provincial capital to buy two bedrooms and a shop, all have pension;
Husband 88 years, 170cm 88kg, enterprise, annual income of 100w, rural in-laws self-sufficient, there is a brother in the world's top 500;
After five years of marriage and a son of four years old, after marriage, my mother's family and in-laws did not give subsidies, and my husband's salary covered all the expenses of RV parenting aunts and so on.
My mother is a cloth pu explosion, in the early stage and mother-in-law and husband have had conflicts, mother-in-law is very good but not very good at talking, after coordination after the relationship eased. At present, parents and mother-in-law take turns to bring their babies. The husband has the financial power to hand over, but asks about the expenses.
My appeal is:
1. Husband has a promotion opportunity next year, the annual salary doubles, but may need to be transferred to other provinces, he sometimes says that he wants to take advantage of the young and fight for a few years, sometimes he says that he does not want to be too tired and we are in the same city, I am not sure whether to support a different place
2. If we are different in the next year, do we need a second child to consolidate this situation? I'm getting older, and next year because we're desperately empty, I'm probably going to be a lot busier in a small leadership position. I have no idea about the work itself, touch the fish personality
3. The husband has moderate fatty liver, persuades weight loss fruitless, do not know how to make him pay attention to the importance of health and obesity? Because my MV is too low a deterrent?
Thank you baby sister and little assistant, the photos are postpartum. My husband's requirements for me are to be able to cook rice and not be fat; attribute self-evaluation I am stone, old publicity
Your husband's requirement for you is that you can cook and not be fat. It shows that he has requirements for your stone and shear, which correspondingly reflects that your husband has both cloth and stone. His type of husband, who can not only bear the financial expenses of the family, but also be able to live a family life, is a good husband candidate.
In this case, your husband "sometimes says that he wants to take advantage of his youth and fight for a few more years, and sometimes he says that he doesn't want to be too tired to be in the same city as us", his inner stone nature and cloth nature are also wavering, and my advice to you is to improve the shearing stone nature, do what he said, and put the second child on the agenda, he may not be willing to go to live in other places. Your MV is not particularly high, and the deterrent in this relationship is not so strong, so your relationship is likely to be affected by a certain impact because of the different places, so you can try not to be different places.
Cook more for your husband, provide him with more emotional value, let him live a relaxed and comfortable life, feel that there is no day happier than "wife and child hot kiln", let him feel no regrets in the future, no struggle and no regrets, then your relationship will be stable.
As for the problem of my husband's moderate fatty liver and persuasion to lose weight without results, I would like to say that action is always more powerful than words. Since you will also cook for your husband in the future, you may wish to learn to make some delicious fat-reducing meals for your husband, whether his fatty liver can disappear, everything is in your grasp. Don't expect the disease to run away on its own long feet, you have to kick it out.
Question 5
(Source of the title of this issue)
Keywords: first visit
Hello Doll Sister
I am 29 years old, 162/52kg, non-exclusive (with a sister), self-examination college, monthly salary of about 10,000, no house and no car
Male: 30 years old, 181/60kg, alone, high school education, monthly salary of about 6,000, his parents divorced when he was a child, and now they are remarried, he follows his mother, no house and car.
Our colleagues introduced us at the beginning of 21 years, at first we were attracted to his photos, and after contact, we felt OK, and a month later we confirmed the relationship. The more I contacted him, the more I liked him, and he often said that he thought of me, loved me and so on, and would feel very cut. I worry a little more every time he does that.
Usually spend money I will also take the initiative to pay, he will also take the initiative to pay, before 520 he gave me a watch of two thousand pieces, I returned him a razor of a thousand pieces, after confirming the relationship only sent a watch, the other has not been sent
Dragon Boat Festival, we have discussed to meet each other's parents, I carefully prepared his parents on both sides of the gift, one side of about a thousand six, originally wanted to buy better, people around said not too good, otherwise it seems a bit catch-up
As a result, when he came to my house, he bought 300 yuan of two bottles of wine, 600 pieces of two cigarettes, and some fruit specialties, which is expected to be less than 1100.
It made me feel like he didn't care about my family, after all, it was the first time he came to the door, and it was my parents on both sides of him who went first.
I want to ask the doll sister if I have too much heart, or if it is true that he is not so careful.
PS: I have to dance two days a week, he will come to pick me up and go home and then come back to his house, we meet him to pick me up.