According to the survey, the strongest sense of happiness in the family is those who think that most people around them are happy, the adult world has never been smooth, and your emotions are the barometer of your perception of happiness: you can control your emotions to achieve happiness.
And a person who is often emotionally out of control, even if he has love in his heart, cannot make himself and the people around him feel happy.
First, bad emotions will ruin a happy family
The greatest misfortune of a family is the inability to be patient enough with their loved ones. Many people are always used to leaving their bad emotions to their families, you know, everyone's tolerance and patience are limited, no one is a trash can, over time, the family will also be affected by you, will lose patience, lose tolerance, will also be dissatisfied, will also be angry. The accumulation of dissatisfaction little by little will affect the feelings between the family, the harmony of the family, and the happiness of the family.
Liang Qichao once said: "The attitude towards your family is your truest character." ”
With the family, the most indispensable thing is understanding, if the other party does not understand, you should find a way to let him understand, rather than blindly complaining and accusing. Complaining and blaming will make things worse and worse.
I remember that there is a couple in our community, both in their 40s, in my impression, they are very loving, often walk together after dinner, the children are also very contentious, admitted to a key university, but just a few years ago, I listened to the aunts of the community chatting that they were divorced, and then listened to their aunts at the door said, the two actually often quarrel, often hear the sound of smashing things, women after the son is admitted to college, no longer want to endure, the marriage of two people is also over, in fact, we have many such people, Always used to keeping their bad emotions to their families, and gradually the deepest feelings of the two people were exhausted
In fact, a person's greatest success is not in how much money he has, not in what kind of fame and fortune he has, but in having a home, having love, and in the happiness of his family.
Second, bad emotions will leave a lifetime of shadows on their children.
The pain and childhood shadow caused by the original family to the child is really a lifetime.
If we parents do not learn to control our emotions, then our children may have to pay for the bad emotions of their parents. Even after the child enters adulthood, he will still doubt and deny himself and dare not express his thoughts
So how can parents control their bad emotions and reduce the harm to their children?
First, we need to be clear that children are independent, thoughtful souls, and they are under no obligation to bear anyone's bad emotions.
Second, learn to control your emotions and give yourself a few minutes away from your child when you are in a bad mood. Let yourself and calm down, let yourself think clearly about why you are angry when you are alone, or calm down your emotions first, and reduce the use of tantrums to educate your children.
If you really can't help it, you must apologize to your child in time and repair your relationship with your child in time. Sincerely apologize to the child, may wish to find a quiet place, explain to the child why he just lost his temper, try to let the child forgive himself, and apologize to the child is not shameful. At the same time, strive to get the child's forgiveness and reduce the harm brought to the child because of their "bad emotions".
We have to accept our own imperfections, and we must accept the imperfections of our children.
Every parent has a perfect child in his heart, so he will try to educate his child according to this standard, so that he can live and grow up according to the way he thinks he is.
However, this is unscientific.
Every child is unique, he can only be himself, not a replica of us, and it is impossible to fully grow up to be what his parents want.
Therefore, not being too harsh on children will also reduce emotional loss of control and reduce blame to a certain extent.
The family that carries the child's childhood growth is like a house, the love of the parents is brick by brick, if the love is abundant enough, it is a warm hut, sheltering the child to grow up happily.
Parents should learn to control their emotions and give their children more love.