Some people say that in today's society, the feelings between people are too fragile, and a little wind and grass can break off diplomatic relations;
Some people always think of themselves as our "good friends", in fact, getting along with them will only bring us a lot of negative effects and harm.
If necessary, please resolutely stay away from the following 3 kinds of "false friends", not in cold blood, but in order to make your life better and avoid harm.
Compare yourself often and bruise your "confident" friends
Writer Liu Tong said:
Sometimes, when you say that someone has changed, maybe it's not that he has changed, but that your relationship is not really understanding each other's hearts.
Classmate Ning Ning said that she had a female colleague with a good relationship, but recently, what the other party said always made her very embarrassed and confused.
For example, several colleagues who know each other, chatting together, have talked about the difficulty of finding a job when they just graduated.
Ning Ning mentioned that at that time, there was a company in Shenzhen, the phone told her to go to the interview, because it was a famous enterprise, she was a little incredulous, she carefully asked the recruiter, is this kind of ordinary 985 college graduate students, are also considering? The recruiter's answer was yes.
Who knows, after Ning Ning finished speaking, the female colleague who wanted to be good to her took a deep look at her and said:
"People just say you're thinking about it, it doesn't mean they're going to admit you!"
Another time, Ning Ning's colleague said that he also wanted to take a master's degree and let Ning Ning give some advice.
Ning Ning said that when he was studying for graduate school, he did not understand any application strategy, so he only cared about brushing the questions.
Her female colleague immediately said: When I was in graduate school, I rarely read books and played almost every day!
When it was more serious, Ning Ning's female colleague simply boasted directly, saying that she planned to take a doctorate and study deeper;
Incidentally, "stepping on" Ning Ning said, you are old, your ability is not strong, and the company may not be willing to recruit you in the future!
Some netizens have summed up that the reason why some people understand the facts said by others as showing off and pretending is because she herself does not have the capital to "pretend", and cannot be more powerful and smarter than the other party's 'pretending';
Therefore, narrow-minded and frustrated, they must make the other party uncomfortable through this way of suppressing the confidence of others, and find a little "sense of existence" for themselves.
Originally, Ning Ning was telling the truth, did not deliberately publicize himself, and did not suppress female colleagues;
But it was secretly ridiculed by female colleagues, on the surface, the other party seemed to have no heart, in fact, female colleagues regarded Ning Ning as a "competitor";
In the relationship between the two, the female colleague must be in the upper hand, pressing the other person's head, and they have a sense of security in their hearts.
On weekdays, the characteristics of such people are that once they are "developed", they must notify all the people they know, and they are eager to engrave their "glorious resumes" on their faces, let everyone watch, and praise themselves.
To become friends with such people, you can only be willing to be in the "inferior", absolutely can not surpass them, and can not communicate and share joy normally;
What is often done to you is your "false friend", do not doubt your own judgment, and stay away from the best.
Criticize your friends often in front of everyone
Da Vinci said: Criticizing something you don't understand is more hateful than praising it.
One reader said to me:
One of her friends, always in front of everyone, pointed out her flaws and criticized her, which embarrassed her.
When she told her friend that she didn't like her doing this, the friend rightly said that it was all for her own good, and the reader was confused and did not know who was right and who was wrong.
Some people will feel that it is too rare to be able to make such a "slanderous friend", how can they question the sincerity of the other party?
The truth is that true friends will care more about your feelings and will not hurt your feelings casually;
Even if they find out that you have any shortcomings, they will mention you in private and retain your dignity;
Instead of unscrupulously, often making you lose face in front of everyone.
In short, they will first choose "listen to what you say" and then give pertinent advice, rather than arbitrarily "buttoning the hat" to you.
This type of friend likes to "mentally manipulate" you under the "guise" of "being good for you", making you doubt your own habits and positions, and then obediently changing the way they ask you to.
Usually this kind of "false friend" has a certain sense of superiority, but in fact, there is a lack of love in the heart and the affirmation of others;
It is possible that they live in an unhappy family of origin and that is how their parents treat them;
They choose you as a friend, it is very likely that they are "fancy" to you to control, good to "pinch", so they can "snub you" and "despise you" in front of others.
Through your "control", they find a sense of "being on top" in front of everyone to satisfy their inner lack and lack.
This kind of "false friend" will only damage your emotions, mislead your cognition and confidence, and quickly stay away.
Friends who often "cryptically" transmit negative energy to you
The British author Chesterton said:
Pessimism, like opium, is a toxic substance. Although it can sometimes be medicated, it must not be used as a meal.
One of my childhood neighbors, Xiaoli, is 29 years old and doesn't have a boyfriend yet;
One of her friends, worried about Xiaoli's marriage, said to Xiaoli from time to time that modern people's marriage is basically the man's money, as long as it is given to the woman, enough for the woman to live, as for how the man lives outside, the woman does not care.
Or just tell Xiao Li that now where there are any real feelings, people are very realistic, almost find someone to marry.
Xiaoli mentions her blind date, friends will often say, such a man is ok, you have to consider your age and capital.
At first glance, Xiaoli, a "pessimistic" friend, seems to be right.
But in fact, "negative negative energy" and "objective reality" are completely different things.
Her friend said this, is "implicitly" to Xiaoli "instilled" negative energy, so that she in her own subtlety, affected by these words, and then blindly find a man, spend a lifetime together.
Friends don't necessarily have bad intentions, they're probably just "negative remarks" from someone who isn't living a good life.
But if you hear these remarks for a long time, people will be unconsciously disturbed, pessimistically look at the people and things around them, and choose to passively accept the "harsh reality" instead of actively looking for happiness in life.
Pessimism can exist, but it cannot be eaten every day, and it cannot be turned into its own spiritual food.
True friends are rare, it is enough for us to benefit for a lifetime, happy for a lifetime, as for the above 3 kinds of "fake friends", it is best not to come and go.
Description: The picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted.