Author: Uncle Bei
I saw a sentence on the Internet: Women who imagine marriage too ideally will not have too ideal marriage after all.
Deeply.
When encountering love, many women think that marriage is the castle of love, and only after entering marriage do they understand that marriage is the original cultivation field of love.
Therefore, regarding marriage, a woman's life must see through the following three things, so that she can live a complete and happy life.
At all costs
Don't lose yourself in your marriage
Becoming Jane Austen reads:
"Don't lose yourself in front of anything, even dogma, even the eyes of others, even love."
No matter how beautiful love is, you should not lose your mind; no matter how much you invest in marriage, don't lose yourself.
The reason why many women suffer in marriage is because they only know how to blindly cater to each other, cooperate with each other, and live according to the way the other party wants.
He likes gentle and virtuous money, and even if you are wronged, you must make a virtuous appearance; he does not want you to go out and show your face, so you give up your career and be willing to be the woman behind him.
However, when you have worked hard to live the "best look" in his eyes, you will find that it is not what you want at all, nor is it the most suitable for you.
And a person who loses himself will certainly lose the most attractive charms.
When you live beyond recognition in your marriage, you will find that everything is going in the opposite direction you expect.
Even when you are forced to leave the other person one day, you will realize that you have nothing.
There is no independent ability, no self-pursuit, no upward strength.
In fact, losing oneself is far more terrifying than losing love!
Dignity in marriage
Earn it on your own
Zhang Ailing said that love is to blossom in the dust.
Although it reads beautiful, when love becomes humble, two people are doomed to no longer be equal.
When you are accustomed to showing weakness, accustomed to giving in, accustomed to lowering yourself to please each other, in exchange for not being moved, but having to advance and be unscrupulous.
So you have to understand that in a relationship, you can take ninety-nine steps for love, but the last step must be left to dignity.
Just like Li Gongjun said:
"In a relationship, the humble one is the most miserable, because he is not even qualified to give up."
Unequal relationships will one day collapse; the dignity of marriage needs to be fought for by oneself.
Dare to be yourself, dare to refuse, dare to love and be loved in your own way.
Let the other person know that you love him truly and that you deserve to be treated that way.
I like what Shu Ting wrote in "To the Oak Tree":
"If I love you, I will never learn from the birds of infatuation, repeating monotonous songs for the shade; nor is it just like a spring, sending cool comfort all year round; nor is it like a dangerous peak, increasing your height and setting off your majesty."
I must be a kapok near you, standing with you as the image of a tree.
We share the cold waves, the wind and thunder, and the thunderbolts; we share the mist, the streams, and the rainbows. It is as if they are separated forever, but they are dependent on each other for life. This is great love. ”
Only love that is evenly matched can go further and go more steadily.
Instead of pointless tug-of-war
It is better to leave the scene with dignity
There are people coming and going in the world, and there are also gatherings and dispersions of love.
I've seen a lot of marriages, which start out with a lot of affection and end up with dog blood everywhere.
I don't know whether I am unwilling or want to vent my anger, there is always one party who refuses to leave the scene well, and has to make a lot of embarrassment.
I have no intention of commenting on everyone's choice in the relationship, but I just feel that when the relationship comes to an end, there is really no need to continue to dwell on it.
It's like the song goes:
"I love that you don't regret it, and I respect the end of the story. The breakup should be decent, and no one should say sorry. ”
When you are together, you must fight for yourself; when it is time to separate, you must be dignified.
As Sanmao said:
"I can't hold the sand, just lift it."
If it is difficult to maintain a marriage, don't go on, separate as soon as possible, and be good for both people;
Those who can't stay, don't force and retain, leave the scene with dignity, and live up to the love.
Zhang Xiaoxian said:
"Many things are good to see; if you can't see them, you will eventually have to survive." Don't think that if you can't see it, you won't pass. ”
Therefore, when faced with a regrettable marriage, we must understand that when the road comes to an end, we must learn to turn, and when people love to the end, we must let go with dignity.
Life is difficult, marriage is not easy, and everyone who chooses to enter the palace of marriage is very courageous.
To this end, I hope that everyone who chooses marriage can operate well and cherish it well, instead of torturing and hurting each other.
Finally, may our marriage be happy and happy, and for the rest of your life, someone will ask you if it is cold, someone will ask you if the porridge will be warm, and someone will share the morning and dusk with you.