Advice from a Stanford professor, encourage your child in the following 15 contexts

Carol Dweck, a professor at Stanford University, is serious about praising a child's talent rather than his efforts, strategies, and choices, but slowly stifling his growth mindset!

Because the biggest difference between growth thinking and fixed thinking is that people with fixed thinking patterns will think that their intelligence and abilities are quantitative and will not change.

People with a growth mindset are "capacity progressives" who believe that their abilities can be improved through hard work.

So, praising children for being "smart" when they perform well will make them think that their abilities are only related to those quantitative talents.

Professor Carol Dweck, who has done a lot of research in this regard, pointed out that children with a growth mindset are not easy to give up, more able to enjoy the process, easier to seek help, and more resilient.

This concept of growth thinking, which has been practiced by most American schools, is a comparison table of how children should change their thinking for each problem they encounter in learning.

Stop saying "You're so smart" and start saying...

1

You're working hard! - Praise efforts

You tried really hard on that.

When your child presents you with a beautiful work, don't be carried away by joy, and remember to affirm his hard work and efforts.

2

As hard as it is, you haven't given up. - Praise perseverance

You never gave up, even when it was hard.

When a child completes something that is very challenging for him, such as meditating on a Go endgame, trying the high climbing frame on the playground again and again, and trying countless times after countless failures, please remember to affirm his patience and persistence.

3

You do things very well. - Praise attitude

You have such a positive attitude.

When your child is full of positive energy about the task they are facing, don't forget to take the opportunity to say a few words.

4

You've improved a lot on __________ - Praise the details

You have really improved on ______.

When the child's ability in a certain aspect has improved, praise the details, the more specific the better, such as: Baby, you are now swimming when the posture of the hand is more standard, and the ventilation frequency is more uniform, much better than before, awesome!

5

This method is really innovative! - Praise creativity

What a creative solution to that problem!

This is the most important place to pay attention to, seeing the child's whimsy, it is easiest for people to be linked to "smart", but is the whimsy really "smart"? It should be the accumulation of creativity and thinking, oh, it is the child's brain opening after trying countless possibilities! So, praise "creative" is right!

6

You're working with your friends so awesomely! -- Praise the spirit of cooperation

You work very well with your classmates.

No matter how capable a person is, the things that can be done are also limited, if the child and the small partner have cooperated to complete something together, and they have done a good job, please be sure to seize the opportunity to affirm the child's cooperative communication ability!

7

You are in charge of this matter very well! - Praise for leadership

I love how you took ownership of that!

Although some things are not completely done by the child alone, he is responsible for management, and he does a good job because he has a strong sense of responsibility and leadership ability, praised to this point, can let the child know, although he did not personally experience it at every step, but it is also a very important ability to make it happen.

8

You are not afraid of difficulties at all, it is too rare! - Praise courage

You are not afraid of a challenge! I like that!

Praising a child's courage is the time that can best help him increase his "confidence index".

9

You helped ______ ------------------------

You did a great job of helping ___with her assignment.

"Give people roses, hand afterscent", helping others is a virtue, we must praise the child's enthusiasm, encourage him to help others more. At the same time, it also allows him to know that there are many ways to overcome difficulties, in addition to his own patience, asking others for help, and learning from others' experiences, it is also a very effective way.

10

You pack your room/books so well. - Praise for responsibility and organization

You have taken great care of your room/books.

Being able to sort out your own turf, pack up and take care of your belongings is the embodiment of a sense of responsibility and orderly work, which is the basis for children to do other things well, and praise and encouragement are necessary.

11

I believe you because of __________ ------------------------

I know I can trust you because ______.

Good credit will make your child's life path smoother, so help him build it in time. For example, when making an agreement with a child, you can say"I believe you, because the first few times you talk count", "I believe in you, you will find a good way"...

12

You did well at the event today! - Praise participation

You did a great job of participating today!

Participating in activities can broaden horizons and absorb more nutrients, and when children actively participate in activities and perform well in activities, they must encourage his sense of participation.

13

You value the opinions of others, which is very well done. ------------------------

It is so nice that you value other people’s opinions.

Learn good advice and experience from others, their own ability will continue to improve, and people with growth mindsets generally have an open and open attitude

14

I'm glad you made that choice. - Praise the choice

I am so proud that you made that choice.

Being able to do a great job is sometimes due to hard work, and sometimes because of changing strategies and making the right choices. Praise strategy is also the key to cultivating growth thinking.

15

You remember _____! Thoughts were awesome! ------------------------

You remembered to ____! Great thinking!

Carefulness is not only reflected in being cautious and cautious, but also in the comprehensiveness and multi-angle of children's consideration of problems. When going out to play, the child does not forget to bring an umbrella, and then it rains and really uses it, the original careful child before going out deliberately checked the weather forecast for the day, at this time, parents should praise his carefulness and thoughtfulness.

These 15 sentences almost cover all aspects of the child's daily behavior, so when encountering any aspect of the child's outstanding performance, you may wish to throw such a sentence first, do not reduce all the good performance to make the child feel illusory, and do not know how to improve the "smart"!

Practices like this are simple and straightforward, which is why I've been sharing them with moms, because these things are useful to everyone, you can understand them at a glance, and you can use them.

▍ Article source: Network