When it comes to beating people, parents talk about tiger discoloration, and all that comes to mind in an instant is: bullying, bear children. However, if someone says that a child "hitting someone" really doesn't hit someone, can you believe it?
Let's talk about several situations in which children "hit people" are not hit people.
1. Get noticed
Only three weeks into kindergarten, An An's mother has been interviewed 3 times, the teacher said with concern: 3-year-old An An is too naughty, in the kindergarten especially love to do, the teacher is fine, good evil is an adult, beaten is nothing, but the children are the same age, he accidentally beat people to cry. If this continues, let alone make good friends, it is unknown whether An An can continue to stay.
Mom came home and severely criticized An An. However, in the face of his mother's education, An An refused to admit that he had "beaten" the child, and cried bitterly.
What's going on here?
Under the teacher's reminder, An An's mother deliberately observed An An's usual performance, and only then did she find that something was wrong.
It turned out that An An's parents were busy at work, and most of them were busy with work when they usually accompanied An An, and there were not many times when they concentrated on talking to An An. Sometimes An An wants to talk about kindergarten, and when he first started, his parents were already talking about them.
At first, An An just shed tears in his mouth to attract the attention of adults. After a long time, he found that he needed to slap his parents to interrupt them, and later, he simply did not say more and directly started to beat them. Because, only then can Mom and Dad stop talking and notice him instead.
Unexpectedly, he actually brought this habit to the kindergarten.
2. Understand the bias
During the long vacation, my mother took the 4-year-old Ming to the rural grandmother's house, where Mingming had a cousin who was also 4 years old, and a 12-year-old cousin, and the 3 children had a very good time.
However, from the second week onwards, the situation changed: Ming ming began to do something to his cousin, sometimes pushing, sometimes kicking, sometimes directly punching.
Often, playing well, obviously beat my cousin to cry.
Mom was very angry, and the education was clear: "You are a boy, your cousin is a girl, a boy is to protect a girl, how can you beat someone?" Hit it again and send you back! ”
Obviously anxious to cry, he is the only child in the family on the father's side, and there is no small partner, it is precisely because of this, he especially likes his grandmother's family, how reluctant to leave.
However, even so, he still did it to his cousin, and he also beat his mother several times for this, which was still useless.
On this day, my mother found that Mingming and my 12-year-old cousin liked to push and shove each other and beat each other when they played together, and the more they got together, the happier they became. But my cousin was only 4 years old, and she often fell down as soon as she pushed.
Mom asked Mingming, "Isn't it fun to push around like this?"
Ming Ming nodded, and said with some regret: "Even if my cousin loves to cry, it is better to be fun with my cousin!"
Mom suddenly realized: Obviously, shouldn't it mean to push and play as "like"? The more I like it, the more I play.
After repeated confirmation, it is true: the cousin is older, and the pain is clear, and he knows the weight, so he can let go of his strength when he plays with his cousin, and the more he plays, the more he says that he likes his cousin; for the cousin who also likes it, he obviously does not save energy, and as a result, his favorite cousin can suffer.
3. Imitation
Xingxing has liked to do things since he was a child, especially for his mother and grandmother, the two people who care about him the most, he is often unhappy, and sometimes he will practice swinging angrily, so that his mother will break his heart.
At home, everyone thinks he is still young and ignorant. Who knows, the second day of kindergarten, mom and dad were interviewed by the teacher.
The family felt strange because the teacher's request was: parents come to the kindergarten together.
The teacher euphemistically said her guess: Is there some impatient person in the family?
Mom and Dad looked at each other, because Dad was such a temper: when he was angry, he would be thrown things and hit people. Unexpectedly, this move was actually learned by the stars.
The teacher said: The child does not understand things, thinks that it is a very great thing to do this, and imitates it.
In fact, sometimes, children really don't "hit people", at least in the child's mind, they really do not classify their behavior as "beating". Therefore, if it is found that the child has the behavior of "hitting people", it is necessary to understand the child's emotional needs at the first time, and then guide and educate the child according to different needs, which is much more useful than simply stopping.
Specifically, it can be divided into several methods:
1. Don't overreact
Some parents find that their children beat people, because they are afraid that he will become a bear child, the reaction will be very large, and it is possible to beat and scold. In fact, this is not right, adults overreact, in addition to scaring children, it is also possible to strengthen the behavior of beating people, so that he forms a wrong understanding: You see, parents and parents are doing this, I can also.
In this way, not only did not teach the child well, but was led by emotions and gave the child a wrong understanding.
2. Guide expression correctly
Children's minds are not so complicated, there are no twists and turns, and they have strange behaviors, such as: suddenly hitting people, impatience. In particular, when these behaviors occur in children under the age of 3, parents must guide and help children to speak and speak their minds.
It is precisely because their expression ability needs to be improved, and their ideas are inconsistent with their oral expression ability, such a situation should help the child and let him know that ideas cannot be expressed by hitting people.
3. Reflect on whether you have a good example
As the old saying goes, if there is a father, there must be a son. As the child's first teacher, many of the parents' behaviors affect the child, and they are subtly learned by the child.
Therefore, if there is a child who loves to beat people at home, parents must reflect on whether their actions in the unconscious affect the child and do not set a good example for the child.
4. Don't label it randomly
As soon as the child moves, he is "disobedient" and "bear child". Murphy's Law says: The more you worry about something, the more something will appear. I wanted to warn the child not to become a "bear child", but as everyone knows, the deliberate reminder stimulates the child to develop in the direction of the bear child.
Therefore, do not label your child, it may not be able to take it down.
5. Don't watch violent shots
With the development of science and technology, electronic screens have also invaded the child's world, and the child's imitation ability is very high, and sometimes he is accidentally learned by him.
Watching the gray wolf roast the sheep, he tied up his brother; watching cartoons can fly, and he is eager to try, these are all things that have appeared. Children's ability to distinguish is weak, and we do not have the ability to stare 24 hours a day, the best way is to reduce the use of electronic products and prevent children from watching violent footage.