Brushed up to a video the other day:
In Shangqiu, Henan, a couple waits on the platform of the high-speed rail.
The child had been playing well around his mother, but suddenly ran towards the tracks of the high-speed rail station and accidentally fell into the gap of the high-speed rail platform.
The mother jumped down to save the child at the first time, and the father walked over to look at the wife and child in the gap and said this sentence:
"You don't look good on children, what are you doing?"
The mother lifted the child upwards with all her strength and said, "I'm sorry." ”
Then, the father took the child back from the mother's hand and turned away.
Mom climbed up from the cracks in the high-speed train herself.
During the whole process, the father did not mean to jump into the gap to save the child at the beginning, and in the end, he did not mean to pull his wife.
This video exploded tens of thousands of netizens, and I couldn't help but say a few words.
Motherhood is rigid, not just talking
At that time, the high-speed rail was about to start, and it was after the staff of the high-speed rail station discovered the situation that they stopped the high-speed rail in time, so that there was no further danger.
And the mother in the video, when she sees her child in danger, her instinct is to jump down to save the child, without the slightest concern for her own safety. Her actions confirm that statement:
The child is the mother's life, and the TA is the mother's life in exchange, and it is also the person who the mother desperately wants to protect.
There is a widely circulated saying that "motherhood is rigid", and scientific research has proved that this sentence is not only a belief, but also a life instinct.
A new study by Qi Hai's research group at Tsinghua University's Institute of Immunology shows that women can produce more antibodies than men to achieve self-protection.
The reason is that the mother needs to transfer the antibodies that have been produced in her body to the child through the placenta during pregnancy and through milk during lactation, in order to do this, her body spontaneously produces a strong antibody immune response.
The responsibility of conceiving the fetus and nurturing the offspring makes the mother strong.
The 19th Asian Games in Hangzhou is about to be held in September this year, and there is one person I pay special attention to, that is, gymnast Oksana Chusovkina.
Phoenix.com once commented on her:
As the mother of a leukemia son, in order to raise money for her son's treatment, Chusovkina at such an advanced age in the jumping horse non-stop flip really moved the world.
In 1996, Chusovkina competed in the Atlanta Olympics, finishing tenth in the individual all-around, and then retired.
Soon, misfortune happened, her two-year-old son fell ill with leukemia, and in order to save her child, in order to repay the treatment fee of up to 120,000 euros, she forced herself to develop into a gymnastics all-rounder.
A gold medal at the World Championships means a prize of 3,000 euros, and she endured the pain to treat her son and insisted on participating in all competitions, just to get more prize money.
In 2002, she returned to the Busan Asian Games at the age of 27, winning gold medals in vaulting and free gymnastics.
After the German sports department threw an olive branch to her and agreed to help her son treat his illness, she left her hometown and went to Cologne, Germany.
The child's illness was finally best healed, and she jumped for more than 20 years.
Among the many "post-00s", she was born in 1975 and went out again and again at an age of 2 to 3 times older than all the players...
From a green face to wrinkled face, from crossing age boundaries to refreshing difficult gymnastics movements, she has convinced the world that a mother's love can work wonders.
A lot of people say: This is Mom and Dad! No matter how the father is, in front of the child, the mother will always be able to carry it.
Men's lack of responsibility is the woman's eternal will
Later in the video, most of the comments are the mothers' difficulties:
Yes, the husband is still complaining at a critical moment: "How do you see the children".
Many times, a woman's efforts, in addition to incurring a bunch of complaints, are likely to not be exchanged for a sentence of "hard", and cannot be replaced with more thoughtfulness.
The question is, why should the child be blamed for not being in place? Where did Dad go? What did Dad eat? The root of all the grievances and anger of mothers is that others deny 90% of our efforts because of our 10% mistakes; because superficial failures negate the hardships behind us. So, when others say, "You make such a mess of your home with a baby," what we really get angry about is:
They didn't see the panic when we took advantage of the baby's meal and quickly washed our clothes;
Didn't see the front foot to clean up the table, the baby's back foot will sprinkle the milk all over the table, do not wait for you to clean up, she shouted to pee, before she could go back to wipe the table, she overturned the basin of the bathroom, and you can only care about the desire to cry without tears at that time;
I didn't see that we were tired of sleeping so tired that we didn't know how to fall asleep, so we denied that we were doing housework + the hard work and effort of a day with children.
So, when others say, "Isn't it just a night milk, just lie in bed," what we really hate is:
They can't see the sacrifices and fulfillments of the children waking up N times a night, the awkward way we chase after the bed, and even negating us, in order to avoid the children crying and waking up the family, silently holding the children under the bed and walking around the N circle to sleep.
So, when others say, "How did you knock your child again?", what we really feel wronged is:
They didn't see that in order to avoid the child's injury, we had tried our best to keep an inseparable caretaker, and even the skill of holding urine had been doubled.
Therefore, when others accuse "why should we be angry with children", what we are really sad about is: who sees the back of the anger, we have long been intolerable, but we have endured it again and again?
A leaf is blind, and it is the most snubbed.
Therefore, the most beautiful love words are not to say "I understand your not easy", but to really see what I have done, if you have really seen and done it, you will naturally understand. So I really call on the majority of sisters, less complaints, less accusations, is to grab the fathers to participate! Let them participate in the baby and that's it! Pig teammates don't cooperate? You can do it this way!
The farther away you are, the more indifferent you become. The more involved you are, the more active you are
"Counting on his father, I'm not angry enough, I might as well do everything myself, save trouble and worry!" Every time a girlfriend complains about her husband, it's this tone. As everyone knows, this attitude will only make the husband more and more fleeing.
There is a "Franklin effect" in psychology, which refers to the fact that the best way to make others like you is not to help them, but to let them help you. After moving, if you want to build a good relationship with your neighbors, the general practice is to take a small gift to send to your neighbors, but when you encounter a neighbor with a heavy defensive mentality, you will not be very pleasing. Instead, ask your neighbor for help: "Can you borrow a screwdriver?" "It's easier to win over your neighbors like this.
In the same way, we want to make the husband take responsibility, want him to participate in the child's parenting process, do not expect him to take the initiative, do not let him hide clean, the best way is to try to seek his help. The best time is from the moment the child is born, let him take on the tasks of feeding, sleeping, etc.
To settle for the second time, start now. DD when I was a child to sleep, basic C dad to bear their own responsibility, one day I hugged coaxing, DD has been in my arms while twisting and crying.
I complained to Dad C, no, I held him and didn't sleep.
Then he picked it up and said, DD now likes to sleep on his shoulders.
Sure enough, he fell asleep under the two arches of C's father's shoulders.
CC learning is also, the new semester began to learn division, always too slow to react, I asked C Dad for help, "What can I do?" My violent temper is too bad at teaching her, and after a while I will jump to my feet, too affecting the parent-child relationship, do you try it? ”
He also took over and said that it should be that the multiplication foundation is not firmly laid, starting from consolidating multiplication, and checking CC multiplication every day.
I know that when I write this, many people may have to say again, that is, you married a reliable man.
Not all of them.
Husband is also ah, what kind of husband and father do you want him to become, positioning, pretending, and becoming a method, just as easy to use.
Sisters, raising children is also a fulfilling thing, admit it?
"Whoever coaxes the baby is not good, as soon as it arrives in our hands, it will obey", these moments, although tired, but, the sense of achievement is not? Is there pride?
So is the old father!
Let him experience some of the experience of "the baby can't find the mother, I have to make the old father out of the horse", the father will be more accustomed to taking responsibility, will be more willing to participate in the child's upbringing, and will also more deeply appreciate the hardships of the other half.
The three views are different and complement each other
"I can't see what he can do to take care of the children!"
Some people, because the other half did not do well, simply did not let him interfere in the parenting of the child.
The personality and growth environment between husband and wife cannot be exactly the same, which leads to the personality and three views of the two people will not be exactly the same.
I actually wrote about this a few days ago.
There's a hard truth that we're all complementary when we find partners. Because people are basically attracted to each other's advantages and their own deficiencies.
It is actually impossible to change the other party. But isn't the point of parenthood complementarity?
The mother with the baby is too meticulous, the child lacks the brave and strong quality, just the father with the child is savage enough, he can take the child to climb in the mud, roll in the water, the part of the mother's lack, this will not make up for it!
The reason why the world is uneven is because each of us looks at things differently and has different values. We really have no reason to ask others to be like us.
The same is true in the matter of educating children, as long as the principles are consistent, let the other party try, what does it matter?
Good family education is actually a "conspiracy" of love between parents, which requires husband and wife to work together, understand and cherish each other!