When it comes to Lin Daiyu in the dream of the Red Chamber, the world will always label her with one kind or another, such as a little sex who loves to cry, speaks harshly and meanly, likes to squeeze people, and even some people have given her the nickname of "Lin Qi".
But this is not all Lin Daiyu, especially not Lin Daiyu in front of people, the Lin Daiyu in the eyes of many readers is Lin Daiyu when facing Jia Baoyu, or Lin Daiyu in private.
Lin Daiyu, who really walked in front of people, in front of everyone, is not like this, after all, she is Miss Qianjin of the Lin family in Jiangnan, and the Lin family is not only a family of poetry and books, but also a family of Zhong Mingding, Dai Yu has been taught by the father of Tanhua and the noble mother since childhood, and naturally it will not be bad.
In fact, many times, Dai Yu is a good-talking and well-behaved lady.
Let's say that when she first entered Jia Province, Daiyu's performance was remarkable, if it weren't for her intelligence and understanding, her heart was like a dry heart, replaced by an ordinary lady, such a big scene, ordinary people really can't cope with it.
unbelief? Let's take a few examples.
When Dai Yu abandoned the boat and landed on the shore, because he saw several third-class slaves in Jia Province who came to pick up the ship, he found that his "eating and wearing degree is already extraordinary, not to mention that he is now at his home." Therefore, step by step, always care, not willing to easily say more than one word, one more step, lest he be ridiculed by others. ”
Although Dai Yu had never been to her grandmother's house, her mother had already told her that "his grandmother's house was different from other homes." "What's the difference? After Dai Yu saw the third-class slaves of Jia Fu, she immediately understood.
The so-called difference is the grand prosperity of Jia Province's "fiery cooking oil, flowers with brocade", after all, it is the Gonggong Palace, according to the rank of knighthood, it is one level higher than the Marquis of her family, and it is also the two provinces of Ningrong, and the population up and down is several times higher than that of the Lin family.
Since it is a state palace with a large population, there will naturally be many rules and etiquette that ordinary people cannot think of.
Such a big family, even if it is the first visit of a big lady like Lin Daiyu, even if it is her grandmother's home, she must constantly tell herself in her heart: we must pay attention step by step and always care. Don't talk too much, you will lose more.
This is exactly where Daiyu's wisdom and understanding are, after all, from her own home to a completely unfamiliar environment, the so-called guests follow the master, everything is not up to themselves, how people arrange how to come, in short, less to say more.
After Dai Yu and San Chun talked about their elder and childhood, Dai Yu once asked Dai Yu what books they had read? Dai Yu said: I just read the Four Books. Then she asked the sisters what books they read, but Jia Mu said: What kind of books are being read, but they recognize two words, not blind people with open eyes.
Tasting Jia Mu's words, there are two meanings, one is to face the young guest Dai Yu who has just arrived in Jia Province, she is humble, from the following text we can also know that Sanchun can not only recognize a few words, but also people who can poetry and painting. The first layer is Jia Mu's true attitude towards girls' reading, in the past, paying attention to women's talentlessness is morality, girls go to school for two years, and it is already very good to recognize some words.
But no matter what Jia Mu meant, after Lin Daiyu listened to Jia Mu's words, her psychology changed, and then Bao Yu asked her again, "Has my sister ever studied?" When Dai Yu answered, she had never read it, had only been in school for a year, and she knew a few words.
That's an interesting thing to say. Obviously, Dai Yu also said that she had read the "Four Books" earlier, and here she actually said that she might only recognize a few words. Why did she say that? Obviously, it was another meaning from Jia Mu's words earlier.
Dai Yu may think that Jia Mu is not very supportive of girls reading, but she does not oppose it, as long as she can recognize some words. Therefore, when Bao Yu asked Dai Yu what book she had read, Dai Yu simply humbled herself according to the meaning of Jia Mu's words.
For Daiyu, after all, this is the first time to go to her grandmother's house, even if she has talent, such an occasion is not the time to show off, the so-called obedience and listening, since Jia Mu has such an attitude towards girls reading, then Daiyu can only answer Baoyu like that in order to coax her grandmother to be happy.
Of course, after living in Jia Fu, Dai Yu will also slowly let go of the initial caution, such as Yuan Chun Provincial Relatives, Poetry Society Poetry, Lu Xue'an Joint Poetry, such occasions, Dai Yu is not allowed to give in, true on poetry talent, the whole Jia Province, there are really few people compared to her.
Dai Yu met the two uncles successively, which is also a very worthy bridge, although the two uncles have not seen, but Cao Gong let us see how Well Dai Yu speaks and behaves decently.
Uncle Jia Shu was not good and did not appear, but the person who passed the message represented Jia Amnesty, and in the face of the elders' teaching, the juniors were to stand aside, so Dai Yu was "busy standing up and listening to them one by one." Sit down for a moment and then say goodbye. ”
Why did Dai Yu sit for a moment before leaving? Although she came to see her uncle, but the uncle's mother, Lady Xing, came with her, she was also the first time to come to the uncle's house, although the uncle had said something that she did not see, but in terms of human feelings, Daiyu's direct resignation seemed impersonal and somewhat ignorant. Sitting for another moment, it is not only to accompany Lady Xing, but also to etiquette.
The eldest uncle's mother, Lady Xing, left dinner, and Dai Yu had to resign because she wanted to meet her second uncle, but how to say it could not make Lady Xing feel faceless, and she could leave smoothly, which was a very social problem that tested the talents of the population.
However, Daiyu's words were very useful to Lady Xing, and immediately arranged for a car to send her over. She said: My aunt cherished the food and should not resign. It's just that I still have to go to see my second uncle, I'm afraid that I will resign and resign, and I will receive it again another day. I hope my aunt will forgive me.
This is a junior who politely refuses to say what he says when he faces the elders to leave a meal, let's just say such eloquence, who else? The elders left the meal to say that it was a meal, and then said the specific reason, reasonable, and finally asked the elders to be tolerant and considerate, no one has a reason not to accept ah, it is simply too decent!
Similarly, when she went to the side of the second uncle Jia Zheng and Jia Muchuan's dinner, around the question of the number of seats, Dai Yu showed her familiar and sophisticated side.
Madame Wang remembered that she was a distinguished guest who had just arrived in Jia Province, and naturally invited her to take a seat, which was a courtesy. As a guest, Dai Yu knew that it was the seat of the second uncle Jia Zheng, and as a junior, she could not sit down under any circumstances. This is also etiquette.
Some people say that when Dai Yu first entered the Jia Mansion, she was through five levels and six generals, and even said that the second lady of King Xing dug a pit for her, so the interpretation is obviously because she does not understand the social etiquette of human feelings and sophistication, which is inevitably shallow.
Didn't Lady Xing know that Dai Yu would still have to meet her second uncle after meeting her uncle? Of course, we know, but the etiquette of life and the laws of socialization tell us that people will leave after visiting the door, and leaving a meal is the most basic courtesy. Just like we have a guest at home today, if we say a word and leave, we will also keep saying "eat and then go", and people will reply with a sentence of "No, next time." ”
In the same way, Madame Wang arranged for Dai Yu to sit on the seat, just like our hospitality today, and the distinguished guests who came from afar naturally had to take the seat. In other words, even if Dai Yu was a junior, this time if she really sat on the seat, there would be no problem. But if she is modest and does not sit down, it is more reflective that she is a person who knows etiquette.
Just like Jia Mu's dinner seat, after Jia Mu sat down, Wang Xifeng pushed Dai Yu to sit in the first seat of her left hand, this seat was the most honorable seat besides Jia Mu's main seat, Dai Yu of course knew, but because Lady Wang and other elders were there, she did not dare to sit. After Jia Mu explained, she dared to sit.
Don't underestimate these details, and don't think that these are red tape, in fact, these guests eat, treat people and things exquisitely and politely, to this day, is still a common social etiquette in our lives. Just like what Dai Yu thought in her heart when she first entered Jia Province, if she said the wrong thing and took the wrong road, she would be laughed at.
Because this etiquette is inherited and inherited, and it is recognized by conventions and conventions, since everyone is following this law, if you do not obey it, it is inevitable that you will be ridiculed and ignorant.
In fact, if you think about it, when Dai Yu enters Jia Province, how old is it, but the little people are so proficient in social etiquette, and their speech is decent and well-behaved, even if some customs in Jia House are different from those at home, Dai Yu can also quickly adjust it in the observation of speech and color, such a random response and flexibility and cleverness, it is really not simple.
Author: Xi Si Shao, this article is to read less of the original works of the Red Chamber.